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There is No Approved Method, Just Do It.

Old 02-21-2011, 03:16 PM
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There is No Approved Method, Just Do It.

I am writing this to any newcomers to the board, or anyone who hasn't found a way to get sober and quit drinking/drugging for an extended period of time.

There are many ways to accomplish this goal. It is hard as hell to do it, but it is very worthwhile, and for myself it has improved my life dramatically. Do I think I have everything figured out? No, but I feel very confident that with continuous work toward my goal I eventually will.

Obviously there are many diferent people posting and they are trying and using many different methods, and they all want to help you. A method that works for someone else might not work for you, but don't discount the fact that there are many different ways to accomplish the goal of sobriety. So keep trying.

Now AA was not my chosen path, but it does work tremendously for many, many people, and although I may sometimes question some of the ideas and methods used by AA, it in no way means that I am not in support of AA and anyone who finds sobriety through it. But I recommend that if you are looking to use a program ask people here about it. Most people become experts in their programs when they work it daily and they are proud to talk about it.

For those on the board who might think of me as anti AA, I apologize, but I am not. But sometimes I will question some of the posts because I know, at least for myself, I would have been scared away from AA by some of the posts that I have read about having to change who you are as a person, etc and some of the rigidity of the program based on what is written on these boards. I attended a year of AA, and although I never worked the steps, because I wasn't there of my own free will, (court mandated), it was a very pleasant experience with alot of good people trying to quit drinking, and trying to help others. Now some people may do better and thrive under a very rigid program and may be looking for that. I was not, and reading about it here daily kind of scares me, because if it truly were the only program available to me I would have been scared to try it, and might have decided to continue drinking. And the propaganda that you may be able to abstain from drinking but you won't be happily sober if you are a "true alcoholic" should be left to the AA tables and not used to recruit people in their weakest moments. AA is a fantastic program, but it is not the only way to become happily sober no matter what kind of drinking problem you have.

So my message is whether you plan on using AA, SMART, or any number of others programs available or even if you want to do it on your own like I did and develop your own wellness program and use it along with a daily helping of SR. What ever you decide, just do it, and even though it may be hard and hurt in the beginning it will be well worth it in the long run! Have a great sober day!!
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Old 02-21-2011, 03:24 PM
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Excellent post, very true.
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Old 02-21-2011, 04:03 PM
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I just use AA because it's the first thing I've stumbled upon that works for me. Heck, if shampooing with Lemon Pledge while standing on my head kept me sober, I'd be doing that instead. Whatever works.
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Old 02-21-2011, 04:25 PM
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Just do it!
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Old 02-21-2011, 05:19 PM
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Thank you!

My discomfort with AA kept me from even wanting to quit. By reading posts like this I gained confidence that there were other ways out.
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Old 02-21-2011, 08:50 PM
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Thanks SSIL! That is one of the reasons why I posted though. There is no reason to be afraid or uncomfortable to try AA. It works for many people and many people love the program. I have sat though many meetings and learned alot of information and heard some "shares" that I could relate to and some that I could not. It was a good experience for me at the time, and people shouldn't feel put off by the program just because others are so proud of it they want to drown you with why it is the best or only real option.

The only negative I really see in that program as opposed to other programs people are using in this forum is some of its members feel so compelled to talk about it's principles like there are no other real alternatives. Hopefully some of them will realize that the program will speak for itself with positive results and while some people might like the strong messages presented in these forums, I am sure others like you and myself will have the opposite feeling which could keep us drinking even when AA might have been the easiest option to use to quit.
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Old 02-22-2011, 06:08 AM
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I think it's great that people be exposed to different ways to get sober.

And the propaganda that you may be able to abstain from drinking but you won't be happily sober if you are a "true alcoholic" should be left to the AA tables and not used to recruit people in their weakest moments.
But I think if you had left your opinions out of your post, it would have made it that much more compelling.
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Old 02-22-2011, 07:24 AM
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Originally Posted by bellakeller View Post
I just use AA because it's the first thing I've stumbled upon that works for me. Heck, if shampooing with Lemon Pledge while standing on my head kept me sober, I'd be doing that instead. Whatever works.
this is true, you do whatever works for your own sobriety. The only thing i know about AA is what I have read on SR. from reading comments here, I do not relate to AA, but i do have an open mind, if i felt it might help me down the road.
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:01 AM
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Originally Posted by FrothyJay View Post
I think it's great that people be exposed to different ways to get sober.



But I think if you had left your opinions out of your post, it would have made it that much more compelling.
Sorry, but I read that line of thinking here daily and I strongly disagree with it, and the whole post is my opinion, not just the line you disagree with.

Scare tactics may have worked to help you finally participate fully in your recovery program when nothing else did, and that is a good thing. But sometimes using those same tactics in a forum where people haven't yet chosen a recovery path might push people away from the help the really need. I don't disagree with your method of recovery, just the way some of you want to sell it.
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:14 AM
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My recovery began in AA, but I don't really attend meetings anymore. AA told me to believe that a power greater than myself could help rid me of the obsession to drink alcohol, and I found that power in God. Far as I can tell, the 12 Steps of AA are all covered in the Bible, so as long as I'm living my life in accordance with what I believe God's teachings to be, I should be doing the 12 Steps in my life every single day.

That's not to say you have to believe in God to have success in AA; quite the opposite. In my case, it was almost like once I found God through AA, and put my faith in Him, the actual AA part was superfluous.

Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else, but it does to me.
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Supercrew View Post
I am writing this to any newcomers to the board, or anyone who hasn't found a way to get sober and quit drinking/drugging for an extended period of time.
Wow. I know a guy that struggled with this for years. Literally.

Really, genuinely nice guy. A pleasure to be in his company at the tables.

He could quit for an extended period of time-usually about a year- but then he would go on these horrific road trips, he'd come to in jail, or missing his car. He finally made it past that wall, btw.

What are you suggesting here?
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:53 AM
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I don't think he is suggesting anything....just letting it be known that there is more than one way to achieve the common goal of sobriety.

Great post Supercrew.
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Old 02-22-2011, 10:20 AM
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Although "forever" would be the goal for a majority of alcoholics, after reading many posts I think many would like to accomplish a few years or even a few months of sobriety to turn their lives around. I really like the "one day at a time" mantra, because it gets people started in the right direction. I think forever may be the ultimate goal, but the journey of a million miles starts with the first step. Many recovering alcoholics once having some sober time under their belt may test the waters again because it is human nature to want what we can't have. But I have found that once I slipped back into the old habits I had enough knowledge to realize that I could stay sober and enjoy it, and alcohol wasn't what I wanted. So basically the more sober time you can get the easier it is to realize your transgression if you slip and get back with your program. At least that is how it worked for me.

I was contemplating the "forever" thing last night because I was talking to a heavy drinker on Saturday about me quitting forever. I then realized that not only would an alcoholic have a hard time quitting alcohol forever but so would any drinker who enjoyed drinking. Even though it may not be the obsession that it is for the true alcoholic, if you told anyone that could never have something again that they enjoyed immensely, that they used at every celebration and used to relax in their time of leisure, would they also become mentally obsessed with the thought of never having it again?

I think most of the drinkers I know would, even if alcohol wasn't a daily issue for them. Basically by taking something away forever a person will automatically think they will be missing out on some level and mentally crave what they can't have.

I think this theory would hold true for types of food, and many other things that we have been programmed to enjoy. Abstinence from anything that is perceived as enjoyable will cause a mental craving for the thing they are forbidden to have, even if it doesn't play a large role in their daily life. Forever is a term that many people, alcoholic or not, have a hard time coming to grips with.

But in reality I wasn't suggesting anything, maybe you are trying to nitpick my post a little too hard.
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Old 02-22-2011, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Supercrew View Post
Sorry, but I read that line of thinking here daily and I strongly disagree with it, and the whole post is my opinion, not just the line you disagree with.

Scare tactics may have worked to help you finally participate fully in your recovery program when nothing else did, and that is a good thing. But sometimes using those same tactics in a forum where people haven't yet chosen a recovery path might push people away from the help the really need. I don't disagree with your method of recovery, just the way some of you want to sell it.
Your post is passive/aggressive. The title is nice-- it suggests we should be open to all forms of recovery. You then spend quite a bit of time expanding on what you think is wrong with AA. Do you see the disconnect between first saying "all forms of recovery should be considered" and then using words like "propaganda" to talk about AA? And in the same post?

The extent of your program, from what I can tell, is why AA didn't work for you. Let's hear what does work for you.
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Old 02-22-2011, 11:21 AM
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Anyone who tries to scare or intimidate anyone else into joining AA is going against everything AA stands for. They forget the tradition that says AA seeks by attraction, not promotion. People who use this scare tactic lead others to believe they represent the AA program when indeed they're the antithesis of it. Unfortunately, there are people like that out there.

I'm in AA and have been for a number of years. It worked for me. If I see someone struggling with sobriety, I'll suggest they give AA a try. If they find they don't care for it, fine. It's not the only game in town.
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Old 02-22-2011, 11:27 AM
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No, because I am not disagreeing with the methods of the program. I was not "expanding on what I think is wrong with AA". I don't think AA's methods are wrong if they work for you.

But if AA's method's include telling others in an open forum that there is only one way for a certain type of drinker to recover, (propaganda), then yes I disagree. But being that I am fairly knowledgable about the steps and the BB I would have to say that this line of selling the AA program wasn't included in the program.

Here is what I am getting at, I know you and many others believe strongly in the methods you used in recovery, and I think that is great. But I don't understand why it almost seems you feel compelled to sell it as the only real method to find sobriety. Also I find it strange that many feel the need to protect it, like it's their God or their religion. Let's be honest, it is a program that helped you through the toughest times of your live and gave you the ultimate gift of sobriety by using the program. But remember it's not a deity, it is a recovery program that you use. There is no reason to be defensive about it or prop it up as the only way.

Again I don't see anything wrong with the 12 step AA program, I think it is the most widely used and I know it works for many people. I think its success speaks for itself.
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Old 02-22-2011, 11:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Snarf View Post
My recovery began in AA, but I don't really attend meetings anymore. AA told me to believe that a power greater than myself could help rid me of the obsession to drink alcohol, and I found that power in God. Far as I can tell, the 12 Steps of AA are all covered in the Bible, so as long as I'm living my life in accordance with what I believe God's teachings to be, I should be doing the 12 Steps in my life every single day.

That's not to say you have to believe in God to have success in AA; quite the opposite. In my case, it was almost like once I found God through AA, and put my faith in Him, the actual AA part was superfluous.

Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else, but it does to me.


This makes absolutely perfect sense and I agree 100%. I can't say AA helped me find faith again, but it helped build me up again if that makes sense. I find myself working the steps (without even realizing) and see myself changing before my very eyes because of my new found faith, not because of AA.

But about AA... When you have spent your whole life as a con-artist, a thief, a person who doesn't understand themselves but only knows how to get that bottle or brew, etc etc... AA gives you some good solid principles on how to live as a new person, a person you can relate to, how you can see yourself changing daily, you actually find yourself saying at times WWJD? It's just amazing the type of rewarding life I now live, and I must credit some of that to AA.

And I was at a meeting a few days ago... and although you hear the promises after every meeting, it stuck a nerve at me, how true these things really do come true... if you have the capacity...

THE A.A. PROMISES
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
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Old 02-22-2011, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by joedris View Post
Anyone who tries to scare or intimidate anyone else into joining AA is going against everything AA stands for. They forget the tradition that says AA seeks by attraction, not promotion. People who use this scare tactic lead others to believe they represent the AA program when indeed they're the antithesis of it. Unfortunately, there are people like that out there.

I'm in AA and have been for a number of years. It worked for me. If I see someone struggling with sobriety, I'll suggest they give AA a try. If they find they don't care for it, fine. It's not the only game in town.
The 11th tradition of AA is one of the most misunderstood:

"Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films."

This tradition has nothing to do with how we carry a message to suffering alcoholics, but does talk about how the organization operates publicly. It has unfortunately been distorted to suggest that we need to be passive and reticient with alcoholics, that anything that may frighten a newcomer into thinking their situation is dire is somehow mean-spirited.

The tradition is about publicity not how we deal with other alcoholics.

AA's success rate of 4-5% might have something to do with the misapplication of "attraction not promotion." People are dying, but thank God we haven't offended them.
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Old 02-22-2011, 12:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Supercrew View Post
No, because I am not disagreeing with the methods of the program. I was not "expanding on what I think is wrong with AA". I don't think AA's methods are wrong if they work for you.

But if AA's method's include telling others in an open forum that there is only one way for a certain type of drinker to recover, (propaganda), then yes I disagree. But being that I am fairly knowledgable about the steps and the BB I would have to say that this line of selling the AA program wasn't included in the program.

Here is what I am getting at, I know you and many others believe strongly in the methods you used in recovery, and I think that is great. But I don't understand why it almost seems you feel compelled to sell it as the only real method to find sobriety. Also I find it strange that many feel the need to protect it, like it's their God or their religion. Let's be honest, it is a program that helped you through the toughest times of your live and gave you the ultimate gift of sobriety by using the program. But remember it's not a deity, it is a recovery program that you use. There is no reason to be defensive about it or prop it up as the only way.

Again I don't see anything wrong with the 12 step AA program, I think it is the most widely used and I know it works for many people. I think its success speaks for itself.
I think I must have missed what you are talking about. Can you show me examples of people on this forum saying that AA is the only way to stay sober?

It would help me understand your argument. You can even private message me the links.
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Old 02-22-2011, 12:55 PM
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Sobriety possible without AA?
dancer1

I still haven't figured out how to make the blue quote boxes. But if you look at dancer1 question posted yesterday and the response by Baschuen on the first page, I think you'll have a better idea of what Supercrew is talking about.

I don't mean to put words in your mouth Super. But that was my impression.
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