Back From a Relapse
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
Back From a Relapse
Well, it finally happened. I knew it was coming and did nothing about it. I chose to use. I got worked up and decided I needed to use again. I didn't, of course, but I felt that I did. So here I am, 1 day clean (new clean date: 2/17/11) and hoping I can do something this time to stay in the game. I thought I was doing it this last time, I had 4 months and change. Now I am back at the start again, and not feeling any closer to recovery than I did the day I walked into the doors of NA.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((OWW))) - sorry about the relapse, but glad you're back here and willing to try again.
Nothing worked, for me, until I was truly ready to not use, no matter what. I also had quite a few consequences that mounted up and I didn't want any MORE coming my way.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Nothing worked, for me, until I was truly ready to not use, no matter what. I also had quite a few consequences that mounted up and I didn't want any MORE coming my way.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Don't discount the great strides you made Onewithwings - I saw a real journey from you in the last few months.
You haven't lost all you've learned - unless you choose to throw it away.
It's a shame you saw yourself going and did nothing to stop it, but I know I did that many times too...learning to value myself and do the right thing by myself was another thing I had to learn in recovery.
Welcome back
D
You haven't lost all you've learned - unless you choose to throw it away.
It's a shame you saw yourself going and did nothing to stop it, but I know I did that many times too...learning to value myself and do the right thing by myself was another thing I had to learn in recovery.
Welcome back
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 49
Originally Posted by Onewithwings 
Well, it finally happened. I knew it was coming and did nothing about it. I chose to use. I got worked up and decided I needed to use again. I didn't, of course, but I felt that I did. So here I am, 1 day clean (new clean date: 2/17/11) and hoping I can do something this time to stay in the game. I thought I was doing it this last time, I had 4 months and change. Now I am back at the start again, and not feeling any closer to recovery than I did the day I walked into the doors of NA.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,935
Welcome back. Getting back to recovery is a big step forward. Far too may people relapse and stay back in active addiction.
Sobriety date April 19th 2011
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Salem, VA
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by Onewithwings
Well, it finally happened. I knew it was coming and did nothing about it. I chose to use. I got worked up and decided I needed to use again. I didn't, of course, but I felt that I did.
If I'm understanding correctly you DIDN'T Use ? You just felt like you did because you felt that you made a decision to do so ? Or you wanted to do so ?
If that's the case , I think you are still on 4 months. A guy in our meeting tonight with over 4 years sober wanted to drink today. Didn't want to come to the meeting ..... But he didn't use and he came.....
So If I'm reading your message correctly , you didn't use and you came back here. And that's AWESOME.
If I am misunderstanding , then congratulations on the strength to come back. It was really hard for me to get a new white chip after 30 days sober.
Good luck to you either way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
Originally Posted by Enoy
If I'm understanding correctly you DIDN'T Use ? You just felt like you did because you felt that you made a decision to do so ? Or you wanted to do so ?
If that's the case , I think you are still on 4 months. A guy in our meeting tonight with over 4 years sober wanted to drink today. Didn't want to come to the meeting ..... But he didn't use and he came.....
So If I'm reading your message correctly , you didn't use and you came back here. And that's AWESOME.
If I am misunderstanding , then congratulations on the strength to come back. It was really hard for me to get a new white chip after 30 days sober.
Good luck to you either way.
If that's the case , I think you are still on 4 months. A guy in our meeting tonight with over 4 years sober wanted to drink today. Didn't want to come to the meeting ..... But he didn't use and he came.....
So If I'm reading your message correctly , you didn't use and you came back here. And that's AWESOME.
If I am misunderstanding , then congratulations on the strength to come back. It was really hard for me to get a new white chip after 30 days sober.
Good luck to you either way.
decided I needed to use again. I didn't, of course, but I felt that I did.
She seems to be directly admitting she didn't need to use...and that she, "of course" knows that.
It's admirable how she accepts responsibility for every aspect of her behavior.
The comment about not feeling any closer to recovery may be tied directly to her knowledge and how she didn't apply what she knows. If we have what it takes and don't apply it, we simply don't get to enjoy the benefits.
Onewithwings, if you want to stay clean, you know what to do.
See you in San Diego!!
Missy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hugs!
I'm glad you are back...I was actually just thinking about you the other day but thought you might be busy.
I'm with Dee...I think you made a lot of progress in the past 4 months and I believe you can get right back in the game.
Xoxo, T
I'm glad you are back...I was actually just thinking about you the other day but thought you might be busy.
I'm with Dee...I think you made a lot of progress in the past 4 months and I believe you can get right back in the game.
Xoxo, T
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 395
Originally Posted by Onewithwings
Now I am back at the start again, and not feeling any closer to recovery than I did the day I walked into the doors of NA.
Don't use this relapse as an excuse to beat yourself up and drown and self-pity. Use it to strengthen your sobriety. Learn and grow from it.
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