ukiah77

Hi I just joined today, found this website while searching for information on my husbands early recovery from alcohol. He was currently drinking a 12 pack of beer every night after work. He quit drinking cold turkey 2 weeks ago. He refuses to seek any type of help, no doctors, therapists, AA, etc.. He thinks he can do this on his own. We have been married 7 years, and have 3 young children. He has been drinking daily since he was a teenager but in the last few years, his behavior has become more and more out of control. I know there's nothing I can tell you all about what goes on in my household, you already know. It is too often, a living hell. A hell that I do not want my children to live in. A combination of me threatening to leave, and his dad telling him he is at risk of losing everything, he finally decided, for the first time in his life, to quit drinking. He is going through all the common emotional and physical withdrawal symptoms so I have left him alone for the most part. I let him know that when he's ready to talk, I'm here for him. He has been avoiding me, and not talking much, and very moody. I'm a ball of mixed emotions. I have so many worries, yet, I'm proud of him for taking this first step toward recovery. I'm not sure where to go from here. Can he successfully do this on his own?

doggonecarl

I've made it to almost 6 months sober without therapy, meds, AA. Time will tell if "doing it alone" is truly recovery. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic. If I was, will power probably wouldn't be enough.

Only your husband can answer the question, "am I an alcoholic." Can he do it on his own, you ask? People have. I can't say what determines success. What has worked for me has been a strong faith in God, an introspective nature, and a willingness to work on those things that I avoided by drinking. Also the acceptance that I can never drink again. No matter what!

I wish your husband the best. Maybe he should join SR. But since it's you that joined, what are you going to do? This "disease" destroys families as equally as it destroys the drinker.

MrRay

Is it possible for someone quit alcohol completely by themself? Yeah, it is. I've seen it happen. However, the desire to slip back into alcohol is not something easily hurdled. Support helps people stay strong. Your husband is likely being evasive due to a combination of personal pride and trying to cope with how his body and mind are feeling without alcohol. You obviously can't force him to accept help...he has to make that choice himself. But what you can do is continue to show as much love and support as you can as his wife. I pray he gets to a point where he's a little more accepting of help from others. Stay strong. You're his pillar.

least

You'll find a lot of support here, and especially in this forum

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

as those folks have gone thru the same situation as you. Give it a look.

Welcome to SR.

Early sobriety can be a very 'moody' time, as our bodies and brains are adapting to normal functioning again and it takes time to smooth out.

nandm

Welcome to SR

Dee74

welcome Ukiah

I successfully did it on my own (with the help of SR) so yes it's possible - it really requires a ton of work tho

Wishing you and your husband the best

I hope you'll look in at the forum least linked to as well - you'll find a lot of help down there too

D

NoAlcoholToday

Hi ukiah77

I am in the process of doing this on my own.

However I value hugely the support that I have received here on SR, getting through the very early stages alongside other people here who were going through a very similar experience to me and can "speak the same language".

Alcoholics are often vilified for their unacceptable behaviour. As others have mentioned, your support for your husband will be paramount. I count myself very fortunate that my wife has stuck by me and is working together with me to overcome my alcohol addiction.

This is a really difficult road to travel. You are right to be proud of your husband for choosing to take his first steps. He will likely fall down along the way (we all have) but he will need to pick himself up again, brush himself down and set off once again. Before too long he will get the hang of not falling down anymore.

Welcome to SR

NAT

SixStringZen

This is me....is your husband actively recovering or simply abstaining? Trust me, you'll know it when you see it...

GettingStronger2

Sure he can do it on his own, depending on what he does. Bigger question i have is what are YOU doing? What help are you seeking? As you stated, you are a ball of emotions. . .there is a friend and family support forum here, i saw someone gave you the link. You can also look up Al-anon meetings in your area. I think you would find a lot of useful information and help there. You need to take care of yourself and your children. He needs to take care of himself. You need to recover yourself. You need to heal. Worry about you.

ukiah77

Thanks, I am taking care of myself. I have read many books over the years, and am currently reading new books now, and online gathering all the information I need for myself, not for my husband. I understand my role in all of this and that I need to worry about what I do, not what he does. I can not control what he does. All I can do for him now is let him make his own decisions and be supportive and loving.

EmeraldRose

I am not in a position to say whether he can do it alone or not. I decided that support was better than being alone. I love going to AA and knowing I am not alone and listening to their stories of relapse or triumph.
I also started a 6 week program, which is awesome. It takes alot of time and energy on my part but I feel that I'm learning about the disease -not just how to stay sober but what it actually does to your body, mind and soul -not to mention loved ones.
Most ppl don't want to seek help because its embarrassing or time consuming or whatever -but I have swallowed my pride (more than once) and need to do what I need to do to STAY sober not just be sober for now.
That is great that you are researching and learning about it all but he really needs to hop aboard as well. I'm sure he will when his time is right. Good Luck.