sailorjohn

Something my lawyer told me once, he himself a recovering AA.

I was busy equivocating at the time.

How does that relate to an online alcoholism forum?

Discuss.

suki44883

Yessir!

Well, I think it relates because we already know all the excuses an alcoholic will use to keep from embracing recovery. We know, because we were once in their shoes and have probably used those same excuses ourselves in the past.

Toronto68

I know I used that line here about a week ago, only I said you can't kid a kidder. (Same thing.) It had something to do with using the site as a place to throw up all your thoguhts and how there would be people here that, ideally, would be able to see what was going on. If it sounded like the person was probably negotiating in their mind about drinking as a workable solution, for example; or downplaying how bad it was, when the "bad" is what got them to stop or investigate here in the first place.

Is that what you are getting at?

Supercrew

The problem with that statement is before an alcoholic admits and accepts he is one the BS he spews he truly believes. Before I understood my problem I truly believed the BS I was spitting out to deny the problem to begin with.

Kjell

That's where "tough love" comes into play sometimes here on SR.

Sometimes it's received well and sometimes it's not

For me, for this alcoholic, I needed people to tell me, with brutal honesty, when they thought I was lying/"bs-ing" myself or others. I honestly didn't always know.

I truly believe that one cannot recover until one gets honest with themselves.

Kjell

Boleo

The “Therapists” in A.A. already have their doctorates in the four fields where the alcoholic reigns supreme: phoniness, self-deception, evasion and self-pity. He is not asked what he is thinking. He is told what he is thinking. No one waits to trap him in a lie. He is told what lies he is getting ready to tell. In the end, he begins to achieve honesty by default. There's not much point in trying to fool people who may have invented the game you're playing.

http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-41_...yeviewofaa.pdf

joedris

The saying is indeed true. God knows I've seen enough people here over the years who
don't seem to understand that. End of discussion...

Supercrew

I would have never looked for help or found SR if I was still in denial. As soon as I realized I needed help and support the BS stopped. But obviously that is not true with everyone who finds this forum.

Bamboozle

Everyone doesn't find recovery. For the ones who do, not all take the same amout of time to get there. I've noticed during my short time here quite a few who suddenly 'get it' expect everyone else to similarly 'get it' and 'now'.

I don't forget for a second where I come from. I've seen and heard too many stories of people who 'got it' and then took a huge fall. Some don't make it back up. This affliction is one nasty beast and it takes down many.

You can tell someone a thousand times they're full of crap and it doesn't matter. For how many here did it finally dawn on you that it was finally time to quit? I realized on my own that something was seriously wrong and I finally got the help I needed.

I credit this place so much and the people here for who they are and what they do, but when it comes down to it, it's all on me. Drink or do not drink.

gravity

I used to lurk on this site and think "poor b**tards...can't control their drinking and their life sucks." Meanwhile, I was going on three day benders, neglecting my family, jeopardizing my job, depression/panic attacks, putting my health & safety at risk, etc. But hey, it was always..."next time will be different."

The flash point was when I accepted that I was a drunk AND I needed help.

What I am learning in my sobriety is that there are many aspects of my thinking & beliefs that require "adjustment." It's a growth process. In ways, I'm still full of BS. And so are you.

michelle01

Thank you Bam and that's an important thing to remember. I reached a point in my own sobriety where I'll admit, I began finding myself losing patience with others in recovery. I had to do a reminder check of how I myself had been, when nothing was getting through to me and what a slow, painstaking process it was to come out of that. There are people in recovery with years of dysfunctional thinking and behavior in their lives, that isn't all reversed in an instant.

reggiewayne

What I think of is, there is very little that surprises us here. When we hear of people saying they are going to switch from Vodka to wine, or they going to change the people they drink with, or they are going to just try and control their drinking better, etc... We all know what they're trying to do. "Have their cake and eat it to". We've all done that...

Hence the phrase - "You can't ******** a bullshitter". In this forum, I have found people with very solid sobriety. We don't "enable" newcomers or people that are stuggeling. We here at SR know what's up with regards to alcohol. Chances are if someone is attempting to manipulate sobriety, it's already been done here by many people. By sharing our experience, strength, and hope we can hopefully show the person that we all have been where they are.

LaFemme

What Reggie said....thanks

Supercrew

He is wise...but it's funny because he looks nothing like the Reggie Wayne I know!

MsCooterBrown

I read posts and everyone has a different voice in my head as I read to myself. ReggieWayne ..his voice is the voice of the M&M guy with the pretzel inside commercials..but now..his face doesn't go with the voice. I am lost now.

And I know a guy that doesn't think drinking beer makes you an alcoholic. He downs about a case a day. The phrase rings true! Prime example.

sleepie

For me, that means "If you've seen one, you've seen 'em all"- and that is DEFINITELY not restricted to addicts. Or, "If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck..."- you get my drift. And I've met lots of ducks. And I know how they move, what they like to eat, and what their s*** looks like. So the ducks ought to watch it, cause they're tasty with a little peanut sauce.

Supercrew

I'm not really sure why a "Duck" would come here. If I were a duck I would as far from this site as possible. I would probably be hanging out on the Bevmo website looking for specials.

sailorjohn

Absolutely.

kiki5711

when I first came on this forum, I was still in the process on my steps downwards to hell. I was so messed up in my mind, I couldn't figure out how the forum works. I got confused about the "thank you clicks: on the bottom of the posts and was wondering where the hell they come from. I got so frustrated, I went to get a drink.

Fast forward to today back from April of 2010 (my week in rehab) I can safely say, I can navigate through the forum....

smacked

I know I shouldn't respond to a post if I start thinking "oh for ***** sake.. ", but then I take a breath and remember how sick I was, and how special and unique I thought my issues were too.

And you're right, that's exactly what it is.. can't ******** a bullshitter. I can spot you a mile away, because I'm just like you.