FRESHSTART2010

Hi ~ It's been almost a year since I signed up on this site. I finally got the courage up to go to the doctor today and admit everything to her. I was so scared and my blood pressure was through the roof! After talking to her for about 45 minutes it went way down. I don't know why I just didn't do this earlier. I really want to stay sober but the withdrawal fear always got to me after a few days. I had been on a 4 day binge and was worried about stopping cold turkey. That's basically what prompted the visit. I was surprised at how understanding and caring she was. She did refer me to their chemical dependancy clinic for which I'm waiting for a call back. I feel a sense of relief now that I have formally admitted my alcoholism to someone other than myself. The doctor even said that I deserved a pat on the back for coming forward. She ran a bunch of tests that I'm hoping come back fine but even if not at least I'm moving in the right direction! I can't wait to start actually living again! Anyway, I have a sense of relief now that I've taken the first step! No idea what to expect from a dependany clinic. Any insight is appreciated! Thanks! Also, I was a little surprised that the doctor didn't give me any medication to at least get through the next day or two? Is that normal?...Just wanted to let all of you know that are a nervous as I was that it's not so bad!!

suki44883

So glad to hear you went to the doctor and was honest about your drinking. It's never as bad as we fear it will be, but that still doesn't encourage us to actually go. I hope you hear back soon from the chemical dependency unit and that they are able to help you.

Congratulations on taking that first big step! You can do this and we are always here to support you!

Danae

Congratulations! No advice here, but great to hear that you took this positive step.

Welcome back

Dee74

Hi FRESHSTART

Welcome back - based on my experience I think it's pretty normal not to be given meds...I've never used any....your Dr obviously thinks you'll be ok

I think you've made a great step forward - congratulations

D

least

Welcome back! Glad you've taken the first step to a better sober life.

Impurrfect

Welcome back!! I'm so glad you went to your dr., were honest, and she was compassionate and did the blood work and set you up with the chemical dependency unit. I don't have any idea about the chemical dependency thing, but it sounds like a good thing.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

artsoul

That's awesome FS!! Great post, too!

Glad you're back and moving foward......

Kmber2010

What a great positive move FS!! Well done.

I don't have experience with inpatient, etc. but I did reach out to my medical Dr. and counselor and I was able to get sober and get into recovery without any medication.

Its such a great feeling to have that weight lifted and to know that you are the right path.

Looking forward to the journey!!

silly

Nice work, freshstart.

I think if your doctor was worried about seriously withdrawal, she'd have given you something. But if you get concerned, call her or seek more immediate help.

I'm not sure what type of chemical dependency place you've called. Is it a rehab facility? a detox facility? substance abuse therapy specialists?
My advice is to get as much help as you can as quickly as possible. I did an evaluation at a rehab facility and was told that really any alcoholic or addict benefits from inpatient treatment. For me, I stongly considered it but decided on an intensive outpatient program instead. It's still a big time commitment but I can go to work and then do this program at night. I can't tell you how helpful it's been. I'd been going to AA meetings but I really need more focused attention and counseling before AA will suffice. Getting sober is a HUGE life change for me and for my partner. It's been a terrible rollercoaster ride that I'd never survive without this program. I've been near complete breakdown and without the knowledge that I had a place to go for the evening, I'd have certainly had another drink by now. May have hurt myself... I really need the emotional and mental support rehab provides.
So my long winded advice is to take the help that's offered. It can be difficult with work schedules, insurance plans, etc but whatever is feasible, do it. push yourself to do as much as you possibly can to get help.

FRESHSTART2010

Thank you all for the replies! It is something that I have thought about for a LONG time and it feels good to finally be done. The chemical dependancy clinic is through my health provider. Before she even referred me I wanted to make sure it wasn't going to affect me in the future should I need to change providers etc. After speaking with the clinic yesterday they said that all mental and chemical dependany issues are sealed away from any normal medical records. She also did not note "alcohol" in my regular medical records just to be even on the safer side. I think that was one of my major hangups as far as even talking to my dr about it in the first place. The clinic even had to have me give authorization just to have my primary care doctor see any information regarding the clinic. That in itself made me feel good about the confidentiality aspect. Anyway, when I spoke with the clinic they set my appointment out until March 1st. I'm guessing that means they are not worried about any withdrawals?? I did let them know that I am not drinking anymore as of Tuesday night. I wish they had an appointment available sooner to ease my mind. I also have depression and anxiety, probably related to alcohol, that we are going to discuss. I drink because I'm depressed and I am depressed cause I drink! Kinda insane if you ask me! I am planning on spending as much time as possible on here to get me through the next 2 weeks. Since I discovered this site a a year ago I thought I was the ONLY one with these issues. So thank you for sharing and making me feel not so alone

~Jen

silly

Wow... March 1st is a long way away. Is that really the first appointment they have? If there are other providers in your area, I'd suggest seeking a facility with a more open schedule. Otherwise, check out some AA meetings to keep yourself honest and on track.

FRESHSTART2010

Yea, I thought that was a long time too! The last time I went 12 days without I didn't experience too many withdrawals. Just pretty much night sweats and anxiety. A little bit of heart palpitations but nothing too major. I am determined to make it to the appointment without having touched the stuff by then. Now that I have seen my doctor I feel a sense of accountability if ya know what I mean?? Anyway, I have been to AA twice before but I don't know if it's really for me. I think the one on one would be best for me in the beginning just to get it all off of my chest. I may try a meeting by work since I didn't seem to fit in at the one near my home. Luckily I live in a place where they are all over. I am going to make sure I am busy on the weekends so I don't have the empty space of time to want to fill with wine. This weekend I am volunteering at a local animal shelter and am hoping to do that as often as they need me. My girlfiends and I are doing a hike next Saturday instead of our usual night out which included plenty of wine. I have not told any of them about my alcohlism. I have only expressed my desire to not drink for "right now" due to health and weight issues. They have no clue how much I was consuming by myself. Looking forward to a better life as I have seen many of you have created for yourselves!

~Jen

Kjell

Yay Jen!

Way to go and you'll find your way and what works for you if you keep trying.

Kjell

FRESHSTART2010

Well, not the greatest results My liver numbers were high. Not sure if drinking the night before had anything to do with it or not. Scary reality that I could have been on my way to cirrhosis at the age of 31!! I am so glad I am on day 3 and that I can change this all around!! Hoping for better results when I get tested again in 6 months! I am still glad I went even though I am freaked out. Scared straight I guess!! Just a little anxious and depressed at the moment

Eddiebuckle

Fresh, that reminds me of how I "came out" about my drinking. It was a Sunday less than two weeks before Christmas and I got an email from my sister back home about my itinerary for the holidays. I replied to all (my entire family) and told them I had decided I was going to rehab that week. I paused for a long time before hitting the "send" button and immediately had second thoughts, but it was too late. After accepting the fact that I couldn't pass it off as a two paragraph typo I settled down - the cat was out of the bag, and there was no turning back. I'm very glad I had the guts to do that, it worked out fine (not easy, mind you, but fine). Had I not done that who knows what mental gymnastics I might have attempted in the four days before I actually went. Grace of God, if you believe in such things.

Eddiebuckle

That's called withdrawal, Fresh. Par for the course on day 3 - stick with this, it gets amazingly better.

Dee74

The liver can often repair itself to a remarkable degree - but we have to stop drinking first FS.

I hope this can be that initial push in the right direction for you

D

stanleyhouse

Hang in there, Freshstart. I'm so proud of your decision and I hope to see you on SR a lot. Liver will get better! Everything will get better if you stop drinking and begin a recovery program. This program will be unique to you and it will take a lot of work but soberliving is the best. Too bad normies don't try it.
SH