What would you do?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 49
What would you do?
I know we are not supposed to dispense advice on here, but I am just curious what others would do in this situation.
My wife has been in treatment for 45 days. She comes home tomorrow. I have filed for divorce. Long story short, the treatment center was out of network so the insurance company acutally sends checks made out to my wife. She then signs them over to the treatment center. While she has been in treatment the checks have come and mostly they are a little more then $1000 or so. I would just drop them off at the local chapter of the company providing her treament (she is in treatment in CA, I am in GA). I know this is her responsibility, but I did not want checks piling up while she is gone.
So, like I said she is getting home tomorrow. She is arranging her own place to stay. She is coming over to visit with the kids. Anyway, I get a check from the insurance company yesterday made out to my wife for $21,000. Now, I know the right, non codependent thing to do is give the check to my wife and let her give it to the treatment center. But my codependent self want SO BAD to do it myself to make sure it gets done since it is so much money.
I am going to give the check to her, but it is killing me.
My wife has been in treatment for 45 days. She comes home tomorrow. I have filed for divorce. Long story short, the treatment center was out of network so the insurance company acutally sends checks made out to my wife. She then signs them over to the treatment center. While she has been in treatment the checks have come and mostly they are a little more then $1000 or so. I would just drop them off at the local chapter of the company providing her treament (she is in treatment in CA, I am in GA). I know this is her responsibility, but I did not want checks piling up while she is gone.
So, like I said she is getting home tomorrow. She is arranging her own place to stay. She is coming over to visit with the kids. Anyway, I get a check from the insurance company yesterday made out to my wife for $21,000. Now, I know the right, non codependent thing to do is give the check to my wife and let her give it to the treatment center. But my codependent self want SO BAD to do it myself to make sure it gets done since it is so much money.
I am going to give the check to her, but it is killing me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
um, since it would go against your credit as well if the bill is not paid,..I think I would be a part of a joint effort/process in making sure it goes to the treatment center.
Looking out for ourselves is important too.
Looking out for ourselves is important too.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
What would you do?
I agree with above, it's called CYA.
Now, here is a suggestions, on the back of the check go ahead and write, above where she will endorse it:
"Pay to the order of _________________________"
Put in the name of the treatment center. Then you can give her the check, ask her to endorse it and you will be happy to 'mail' it for her, or just give her the check. She will have no choice with the "Pay To" already on the back, because if she tries to change that, no bank will accept it.
You might also have the envelope ready, addressed and stamped, in case she gets upset.
But, you asked, and my answer is, I would not give my A that size check after only 45 days of treatment. No way, no how.
Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing as we do care very much.
Love and hugs,
Now, here is a suggestions, on the back of the check go ahead and write, above where she will endorse it:
"Pay to the order of _________________________"
Put in the name of the treatment center. Then you can give her the check, ask her to endorse it and you will be happy to 'mail' it for her, or just give her the check. She will have no choice with the "Pay To" already on the back, because if she tries to change that, no bank will accept it.
You might also have the envelope ready, addressed and stamped, in case she gets upset.
But, you asked, and my answer is, I would not give my A that size check after only 45 days of treatment. No way, no how.
Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing as we do care very much.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
I would send the check to the treatment center directly.
Out of treatment one day and a huge check?
I dont know the deets of your whole story, but, I would not consider it codie to protect your financial future. consider it a favor you are doing for her and let it be.
Out of treatment one day and a huge check?
I dont know the deets of your whole story, but, I would not consider it codie to protect your financial future. consider it a favor you are doing for her and let it be.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
I avoid giving advice, and normally phrase everythign as a story, suggestion, or question. In this case, unless a lawyer tells you otherwise, please assume you are on the hook for this debt and give the check to the treatemnt center.
The consequences of not doing this could be considerable, and I don't count it as controlling her-- I count it as controlling yourself and that's allowed.
Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
The consequences of not doing this could be considerable, and I don't count it as controlling her-- I count it as controlling yourself and that's allowed.
Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
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