Cannot believe I am saying this...

Old 02-15-2011, 08:18 AM
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Cannot believe I am saying this...

I AM HAPPY FOR ONCE!

Just thought I'd send a quick update:

I've always been against the idea of anti-depressants, but my rage and depression had gotten so bad that I started taking them on 12/13/10. I can honestly say, they've been a life saver to me. I cannot imagine coming off of them, and I don't intend to any time soon. I don't know why I waited so long to get on them. I give full credit to my well being from those little "happy" pills.

They've encouraged me to get off my butt and get out there. I've done so many new things that I'd forever talked about, and never did.
  • I am volunteering with Virginia German Shepherd Rescue.
  • I am now taking yoga classes.
  • I skiied this winter.
  • I am enrolled in school.
  • I am taking pole dancing classes (amazing for confidence building)
  • I made new, happy, healthy friends!

Never, never ever ever in my life have I been happy with being 'alone' without a lover. For once, I can truly say I am content in my life. My oldest brother has become my best friend. He kept me away from all my nights going out and getting completely hammered. He helped keep my exabf off of my mind, and showered me with his support, love and affection.

I was reading over some of my old posts.. about how badly I missed my ex... it felt like someone else writing them. I can't remember 'feeling' those feelings. While I still have love for him.. he's not the same. That man that I love no longer exists.. in this world or in my life.

God, I am SOOO happy! You just wouldn't believe. I am smiling ALL the time.. Always laughing.. Life is just incredible for me. I'm still in therapy once a week, and I adore my psychologist. He has been so supportive and helpful. I am finally building confidence and courage within myself. I love me!!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Just thought I'd share.. happiness finally comes. I was so miserable, for so long.. and damnit I feel AMAZING!
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Old 02-15-2011, 08:37 AM
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Jenny, I am soooooo happy for you!

I can tell you are doing well, because your excitement is contagious!

Now I feel motivated to go solve a few of my own annoyances I keep putting off.

Wow. Thank you so much!

I am so excited for you!
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Old 02-15-2011, 08:42 AM
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I can tell you that when I have taken antidepressants (for short periods of time) I did feel better, and more able to cope with life. Although a little warning, and not that your body might react this way, but after several months they did stop working for me, and even made me feel worse. But, when I did finally wean ( and take that word seriously) off of them, I did still feel better, and more capable to face problems. God bless you and take care. I hope things continue to look up for you . Gina
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Old 02-15-2011, 08:46 AM
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Congratulations, and thanks for reminding me that sometimes it is chemical, and that there's more than one way to find recovery.

It's also a reminder to give things a fair chance to work, or not, including medication and 12-Step programs. One pill is not enough, and one meeting is not enough.

I believe that, as with many things, you have to try it over a longer period of time to really start to know if it's working. I've seen medication and/or 12-step programs work miracles, and I've seen them fail. It's individual. You just keep giving things a fair chance until something works.

Again, congratulations!

Cyranoak
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Old 02-15-2011, 08:55 AM
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One pill is not enough, and one meeting is not enough.
very well said, Cyranoak.

Jenny,

Amazing news!
I am so tickled for you, and so pleased you found relief.
:day6
Jenny, you have struggled so much and now you just sound marvelous.
Bless your brother, your big heart (for those german shepherds) and yes, I bless my little happy pills too.
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Old 02-15-2011, 09:07 AM
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Jenny,

Your post just made my day! I am so happy for you! And I do understand what you are saying.
I cannot be well without my meds. I have learned to be very grateful for that help.

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
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Old 02-15-2011, 09:15 AM
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Jenny! I'm SO glad to hear that things are kicking @ss for you these days. Cyranoak is right though...keep working on yourself.

Also, if you ever decide that anti-depressants don't work for you anymore, consider 5-HTP supplements which have been shown to have an interesting effect on depression, insomnia and weight gain, but with less side effects that some anti-depressants.
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Old 02-15-2011, 10:48 AM
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Thanks guys!

Actually, I had a friend who swore by 5-HTP for depression. I wouldn't mind taking that on the side. I don't want to even start thinking about when the meds will eventually stop working, or whatever. I should try and live in the present; and in the present they're working just fine! ;-p

I have the most intense love for German Shepherds too.. it's like I finally found my calling, ha ha. Volunteering is bringing a sense of wholeness to me. It's one thing I'm extremely passionate about and can act upon! Woot!

I've found the key to my happiness is structure and keeping busy. Sometimes I feel so busy it's hard to keep up with everyone, and every thing. For some people, that may bring about unwanted stress.. but, for me, it keeps me in line and in tact. I've commited myself to a lot of physical activity and I just feel SO much better. Ah, I feel incredible! I could go on and on about it, but I won't!
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Old 02-15-2011, 10:51 AM
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I have been exuberant about the nice weather yesterday, today and the next few days!
Awesome, huh?
I am wanting to get out and be more active now. Not a winter person! LOL
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Old 02-15-2011, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Jenny1232 View Post
I wouldn't mind taking that on the side. I don't want to even start thinking about when the meds will eventually stop working, or whatever. I should try and live in the present; and in the present they're working just fine! ;-p

So happy to hear this news, Jenny!!!

Don't worry about if or when the meds stop working -- that doesn't always happen! I've been taking the same meds in the same dosage for 8 years. Still work like a charm.

YAY! Happy News!! I love it!!!!
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Old 02-15-2011, 10:57 AM
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don't want to even start thinking about when the meds will eventually stop working, or whatever. I should try and live in the present; and in the present they're working just fine! ;-
It could be a long time before they stop working if ever, I had to change from prozac after taking it and getting relief for over 15 years. I am taking another one now. It works just as well. And yes, live in the present. This is fantastic!

I've found the key to my happiness is structure and keeping busy.
This is very good to know about yourself. My daugher (recovering) has discovered this about herself too. When she has too much down time, she doesnt like it.
She works as many hours as possible at Taco Bell, and will start college in May.
I am so proud of her.
And you know, I am proud of you too. If I remember correctly, you did not want medication, and changing your mind and being open to it is great growth on your part.
Wonderful news.

Love on those shepherds! They love you back so much.

Beth
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Old 02-15-2011, 11:00 AM
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I am wanting to get out and be more active now. Not a winter person! LOL
Sounds like pig pickin time!
*****!
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Old 02-15-2011, 11:10 AM
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HAHAHAHAHAHA

Gal, I WISH!

When ya gonna "come'on down, ya'heaha?"

I did figure up a way to make some mighty good pork barbq chops lately? I gotta secret I will share with anyone! LOL
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Old 02-15-2011, 11:15 AM
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I'm so happy for you, Jenny! I agree that your excitement and joy just rings through your post.
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Old 02-15-2011, 11:58 AM
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YAY! Reading all your responses makes me EVEN HAPPIER!! HAHA, I feel like I'm high on life!!!!!!!!!

It's February and the weather was 70 yesterday! Friggin A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!! Bummer though, snow season is coming to an end. If you can't get out.. just start spring cleaning early! Though, I'm sure not all people have quite the love of cleaning like I do (you couldn't tell by how disorganized I am though).

Wicked, glad about your daughter... It's funny how some people can't 'enjoy' down time. Having an eating disorder, down time is the WORST for me... I get bored, so I eat. I'm glad she's able to keep busy to stay sober.

Gosh what a great day! I had a slight 'annoyance' yesterday, and it dawned on me that I hadn't been angry in what felt like FOREVER! That just is incredible to me.. since I was a VERY angry person. I'm just soooooo full of love, so here I am spreading it to you!!!!!

Stay happy and turn that frown upside down!!!

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Old 02-15-2011, 11:59 AM
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if paranoia were to set in.. I'd question bi-polar. Re-reading my post, I almost sound like a crazy lady!!

I think it's just because everyone is so poopy these days.. or I'm a big dork! Or both!
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Old 02-15-2011, 12:04 PM
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Just a quick note about 5-HTP...do not take it at the same time as your anti-depressants. It can cause "serotonin syndrome", which is characterized by sleepiness, lack of energy, and sometimes loss of consciousness and convulsions. Kinda dangerous So, if you want an alternative to your anti-depressants, it's best to switch and not take it alongside the 5-HTP.

Just sayin'
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Old 02-15-2011, 12:16 PM
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I sound hypomanic about my enthusiasm for the amazing weather, Jenny..but I am not. Just exuberant!

isn't it so cool when you recognize that being angry and disgruntled feels foreign and off?

Watch out....Wicked and I will start planning a big party!
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Old 02-15-2011, 12:29 PM
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I can honestly say I've never felt so content. This is completely new to me. I've had happy moments, but they used to be sooo short lived. I mean, I have been exuberant for WEEKS!!! I'd LOVEEEE a par-tay, hey!

ND2D, THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP! That wouldn't be good... I do want to take fish oil, lol... do you know if that can cause complications with meds?
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Old 02-15-2011, 12:31 PM
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I take two antidepressants, fish oil and vitamin D. I think it is great!
My counselor recommended those additions to me and there is some research to support it.
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