aasharon90

Hi. Im Sharon and I'm an Alcoholic
here in Baton Rouge, La.

Glad to have Sober Recovery as
another tool to use in my recovery
program.


It wont get better until you clear
away the wreckage of the past.


I was reflecting back on my 20
yrs. sobriety and realized that
I couldnt get instant relief and
rewards of the promises stated
to us in the Big Book of Alcoholics
Anonymous until I cleared away
all the garbage I had collected
in my life over the past 50 yrs.

When we first get sober or clean
we all look for that instant happiness.
Looking for everything to get normal
in our lives, relationships, jobs.

However it doesnt work as quickly
as we expect it to sad to say.

In recover we are handed knowledge
of our addiction, alcoholism and tools
to help us work thru them so we can
begin to get better and healthier in
our lives.

That knowledge helps us work thru
the pain we experienced as children
on to our destructive behaviors growing
up to the people we harmed to harming
ourselves.

The steps and knowledge are tools
handed to use as guidelines to help
us slowly chip away at the wreckage
of our lives.

I first learned how to stay sober
one day at a time following suggestions
by many of those ahead of me who
have continued to stay sober for many
years.

Then I began to work on issues that
had kept me dishonest and sick emotionally,
physically, spiritually.

Untill I became openminded to the
idea that if I became willing to work
on the damage from the past that caused
or endured then I wouldnt get well and
experience happiness, joy and freedom
in recovery as so many have before me.

It wasnt until years later that I finally
understood what being honest....totally
honest....in all my affairs would mean
to unlock the door to a freedom in
recover I had not known before.

Being honest with urself and others
around you with No secrets, No hiding,
No cover ups. TOTAL HONESTY.

Jabbadabutt

How true. Thank you.

littlefish

Beautiful post aasharon!

aasharon90

I would wonder why I stayed
in my sickness for so long
when I could have been happy
many years. Why then you
ask.....Because I was afraid,
scared, full of fear.

Whether you are afraid to
let go of a favorite drink, drug,
mistress, man, job because
of those uncomfortable feeling
then you will stay sick.

For example.....

In a relationship or marriage
you love that person yet you
hate or dont like them very much
as you think its ok to wonder off
to someone else just for the night,
evening, and yet you know deep
inside it's not right. But you continue
anyway because it's like a drug.
you get ur fix for the moment then
u return to ur loved one and all
is ok for awhile till the next episode,
arguement etc.

This is where dishonesty comes in
that keeps us sick.

You are dishonest not only with
urself but to ur loved one. You
are keeping a secret from them
just to make urself happy.

I learned that if you can't be honest,
totally honest with ur loved one
then you should not hurt them.
Get out of the relationship or marriage
and set them free. In doing so then
you become honest with urself and
there are no more secrets. They
tell us to be honest in all our affairs
but dont so ridgid in doing so that
it would hurt someone else.

If you dont want to let ur partner
know that u have been cheating
or dishonest because u dont
want to hurt them....well think
about how much u r really hurting
them by keeping ur dishonesty a
secret.

If you are unable to be honest
with urself then dont bring someone
else down with you just because
u r sick.

I know I did for years and I stayed
in my sickness. One day I finally
got out and set my captured family
free. In doing so, I began to heal,
grow and mature in life.

Today so 20 yrs down the road
in recovery, I know what it is like
to finally understand the freedom
that we hear about so often in
recovery.

That is part of the wreckage of
the past that kept me sick for
so long.

No anymore tho. I'm FREE..!!!!

Draciack

Sharon, thank you so much for sharing that Really hit the spot today.

Facing reality is a crucial component of my recovery, even if facing reality means acknowledging some difficult things and accepting pain that comes with change. When I think about letting things go, it's more than tangible things. For me to grow, I have to let go of my old attitudes, beliefs, and ways that I look at the world, all to make room for something real. Sometimes happiness is in the cards, sometimes it's not, but today I can be okay with not being okay and that's a rare thing for me.

Anyway...