Painkillers and pot
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Scotland
Posts: 7
Painkillers and pot
Hey everyone....
Im 35 years old, and until 5 days ago, i smoked pot everysingle day. Around 5 years ago i injured my back in an accident and was prescribed codeine medication, which eventually, i noticed i could get a high from if i upped the dose a little.
At the most extreme time, i was taking 5 at a time (30mg/500) around 5-7 times a day. I tried going to the gp and was put on a reduced dose of pure codeine which i had to collect from my pharmacy every day. I saved them all up and swallowed them all and then had to go cold turkey from them, which was hell.
I lasted about 6 weeks and then i genuinly injured my back again, this time around though, i informed the gp that codeine would be a bad idea, and so i was put on tramadol....jeez...i dunno what was worse.
Anyway i had been smoking hash all this time, and realised that when i took my tramadol and had a smoke i felt a good high, i could get on with things, i felt energized, i genuinly just enjoyed the experience.
After a period of time though, the dose was increased and i found myself wanting to take more and more. I went to the doc and told them all about it, and basically i don't get any painkillers of any sort anymore, no matter what i tell them, i feel as if i cut off my nose to spite my face, but there you go.
So im trying to make a go of things now, except i have access to codeine painkillers everyday through a relative (i pretend to have a bad back) im taking 5 at a time, twice a day. I have stopped smoking hash now, but im getting frustrated because every day i wake up and i NEED that little rush in the morning just to make me feel good.
Im not addicted to codeine, im addicted to getting high in the morning, its weird to explain. As far as the hash goes, i don't even miss it, if i could just blast these painkillers out the scene i'd be really REALLY happy, and free from drugs forever.
I dunno what else to try, i feel lost if i cant get a high in the morning, and if i don't get it, i spend all day figuring a way to obtain them, and i wish i didn't feel this way.Any advice?
Im 35 years old, and until 5 days ago, i smoked pot everysingle day. Around 5 years ago i injured my back in an accident and was prescribed codeine medication, which eventually, i noticed i could get a high from if i upped the dose a little.
At the most extreme time, i was taking 5 at a time (30mg/500) around 5-7 times a day. I tried going to the gp and was put on a reduced dose of pure codeine which i had to collect from my pharmacy every day. I saved them all up and swallowed them all and then had to go cold turkey from them, which was hell.
I lasted about 6 weeks and then i genuinly injured my back again, this time around though, i informed the gp that codeine would be a bad idea, and so i was put on tramadol....jeez...i dunno what was worse.
Anyway i had been smoking hash all this time, and realised that when i took my tramadol and had a smoke i felt a good high, i could get on with things, i felt energized, i genuinly just enjoyed the experience.
After a period of time though, the dose was increased and i found myself wanting to take more and more. I went to the doc and told them all about it, and basically i don't get any painkillers of any sort anymore, no matter what i tell them, i feel as if i cut off my nose to spite my face, but there you go.
So im trying to make a go of things now, except i have access to codeine painkillers everyday through a relative (i pretend to have a bad back) im taking 5 at a time, twice a day. I have stopped smoking hash now, but im getting frustrated because every day i wake up and i NEED that little rush in the morning just to make me feel good.
Im not addicted to codeine, im addicted to getting high in the morning, its weird to explain. As far as the hash goes, i don't even miss it, if i could just blast these painkillers out the scene i'd be really REALLY happy, and free from drugs forever.
I dunno what else to try, i feel lost if i cant get a high in the morning, and if i don't get it, i spend all day figuring a way to obtain them, and i wish i didn't feel this way.Any advice?
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
NA.
Nobody NEEDS to "feel good" first thing in the morning--other than addicts. I'm in AA, so I will let people with more drug experience respond, but the love for the "rush" and "feeling good" are something we have in common.
Nobody NEEDS to "feel good" first thing in the morning--other than addicts. I'm in AA, so I will let people with more drug experience respond, but the love for the "rush" and "feeling good" are something we have in common.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Scotland
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
NA.
Nobody NEEDS to "feel good" first thing in the morning--other than addicts. I'm in AA, so I will let people with more drug experience respond, but the love for the "rush" and "feeling good" are something we have in common.
Nobody NEEDS to "feel good" first thing in the morning--other than addicts. I'm in AA, so I will let people with more drug experience respond, but the love for the "rush" and "feeling good" are something we have in common.
Stopping the Train...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sevierville, TN - in the valley of the Great Smoky Mountains
Posts: 978
Opiates are a whole different animal. It attacks the pleasure center giving the illusion of everything being ok. The ADDICTION is the part where the BRAIN says "I need that high first thing in the morning".
It's time to get honest with yourself - and that person you have access through for getting more. The only way to get past this is to stop! I had to get help for my addiction. I needed that high first thing in the morning, too...and the midday...and evening...and night. I found help through Narcotics Anonymous.
I got honest with my doctor. Even Tramadol was a problem for me. Its good the docs had cut me off. That helped tell me I had a bigger problem - and they helped me see the problem? I did myself a huge favor and didn't even realize that gift at first. I was hating being "red-flagged".
Find a meeting. That's what the folks here on SR suggested to me when I first came here. I was defiant at first. Didn't need and f*ckin 12-step program!! I'm glad I finally went.
It's time to get honest with yourself - and that person you have access through for getting more. The only way to get past this is to stop! I had to get help for my addiction. I needed that high first thing in the morning, too...and the midday...and evening...and night. I found help through Narcotics Anonymous.
I got honest with my doctor. Even Tramadol was a problem for me. Its good the docs had cut me off. That helped tell me I had a bigger problem - and they helped me see the problem? I did myself a huge favor and didn't even realize that gift at first. I was hating being "red-flagged".
Find a meeting. That's what the folks here on SR suggested to me when I first came here. I was defiant at first. Didn't need and f*ckin 12-step program!! I'm glad I finally went.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome. I hope SR helps you as much as it helped me.
Now for the harsh part. You asked for advice, here it is. Own up to your problem.
You say you're not addicted to codeine, just addicted to getting high. In my opinion, that is BS. But quit for a couple days, your body's reaction will be proof enough.
Then get yourself into a recovery program.
Also, check out SR's substance abuse forum:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I fooled myself for ten years thinking I just liked to get high...till I tried to quit!
Now for the harsh part. You asked for advice, here it is. Own up to your problem.
You say you're not addicted to codeine, just addicted to getting high. In my opinion, that is BS. But quit for a couple days, your body's reaction will be proof enough.
Then get yourself into a recovery program.
Also, check out SR's substance abuse forum:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I fooled myself for ten years thinking I just liked to get high...till I tried to quit!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Scotland
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by whiskerkissed
Opiates are a whole different animal. It attacks the pleasure center giving the illusion of everything being ok. The ADDICTION is the part where the BRAIN says "I need that high first thing in the morning".
It's time to get honest with yourself - and that person you have access through for getting more. The only way to get past this is to stop! I had to get help for my addiction. I needed that high first thing in the morning, too...and the midday...and evening...and night. I found help through Narcotics Anonymous.
I got honest with my doctor. Even Tramadol was a problem for me. Its good the docs had cut me off. That helped tell me I had a bigger problem - and they helped me see the problem? I did myself a huge favor and didn't even realize that gift at first. I was hating being "red-flagged".
Find a meeting. That's what the folks here on SR suggested to me when I first came here. I was defiant at first. Didn't need and f*ckin 12-step program!! I'm glad I finally went.
It's time to get honest with yourself - and that person you have access through for getting more. The only way to get past this is to stop! I had to get help for my addiction. I needed that high first thing in the morning, too...and the midday...and evening...and night. I found help through Narcotics Anonymous.
I got honest with my doctor. Even Tramadol was a problem for me. Its good the docs had cut me off. That helped tell me I had a bigger problem - and they helped me see the problem? I did myself a huge favor and didn't even realize that gift at first. I was hating being "red-flagged".
Find a meeting. That's what the folks here on SR suggested to me when I first came here. I was defiant at first. Didn't need and f*ckin 12-step program!! I'm glad I finally went.
Ive done the research on codeine and know all about the seratonin, and dopamine and all that stuff. I think maybe ive fried all my receptors from all the years of hash abuse, on the other hand, my partner tells me i have an addictive personality, cos i get addicted to everything, gambling, drugs etc...
I think it must be a personality disorder or something, she even hinted at me displaying nearly every symptom of huntingtons disease, which biffed me out a bit.
Stopping the Train...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sevierville, TN - in the valley of the Great Smoky Mountains
Posts: 978
LOL!!! I hear so much of you in me when I first started seeking help!! For most of my life I claimed to have an addictive personality not knowing I had the disease of addiction. I thought as long as I never used a rig I wasn't an addict.
Addiction is more than just a chemical dependency. It's using ANYTHING to change the way I feel. Drugs, sex, video games, the Internet, reading - anything I do obsessively! Anything I do to alter my perception of reality. This is where the NA and the 12 steps has come into play. It shows me how deep the disease goes and offers a solution to live a different way. Not giving into obsessive behaviors.
Addiction is more than just a chemical dependency. It's using ANYTHING to change the way I feel. Drugs, sex, video games, the Internet, reading - anything I do obsessively! Anything I do to alter my perception of reality. This is where the NA and the 12 steps has come into play. It shows me how deep the disease goes and offers a solution to live a different way. Not giving into obsessive behaviors.
Stopping the Train...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sevierville, TN - in the valley of the Great Smoky Mountains
Posts: 978
P.S. - I've never been to rehab. I went cold turkey - detoxed with the help of those in the program. I felt like I wanted to DIE! The withdrawal is beyond miserable, but I am reminded everyday how I don't want to go through that again.
Saying that - I did relapse almost 2 yrs later and ended up in a 6 day detox, but that was because I also added benzos to my regimen. That takes medical detox. I thought I could handle meds by myself at that point legitimately given for a medical problem. I was sent into a spiral from hell.
Again - I knew where to find help. NA. I'm now coming up on 6 months and doing much better.
Saying that - I did relapse almost 2 yrs later and ended up in a 6 day detox, but that was because I also added benzos to my regimen. That takes medical detox. I thought I could handle meds by myself at that point legitimately given for a medical problem. I was sent into a spiral from hell.
Again - I knew where to find help. NA. I'm now coming up on 6 months and doing much better.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
I agree with the fact that the need to alter my feelings is my addiction, and not any of the substances I was using. Even alcohol, which I abused, no doubt about THAT, wasn't something that I had to physically withdrawal from. My mental obsession was my obstacle. Still is, to be honest. I mean, all of us here can admit that we started using/drinking because we liked that buzz, that relaxed f*ck it attitude, right?
The task at hand for you seems to be finding something new to look forward to, to replace that high. It can be an activity, it can be spirituality, it can be anything. Just not something pharmaceutical.
Drink a Monster, get 5 Hour Energy, theres a ton of that crap out there that will get you moving in the morning.
Good luck, and I hope you can replace the bad with something good.
The task at hand for you seems to be finding something new to look forward to, to replace that high. It can be an activity, it can be spirituality, it can be anything. Just not something pharmaceutical.
Drink a Monster, get 5 Hour Energy, theres a ton of that crap out there that will get you moving in the morning.
Good luck, and I hope you can replace the bad with something good.
Stopping the Train...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sevierville, TN - in the valley of the Great Smoky Mountains
Posts: 978
Originally Posted by julez
Drink a Monster, get 5 Hour Energy, theres a ton of that crap out there that will get you moving in the morning.
With the energy drinks - I have to check my motives. A sponsor asked me one day - am I drinking to try to catch "that buzz" (the replacement) - or am I using it responsibly to just get a morning kick - like coffee. Well - After several monster drinks a day, or 2 five-hour shots at once, EXCESSIVE coffee drinking, etc...I had to look at that. I still drink a monster on occasion, and just TRY and take my coffee away!! but I'm mindful when it gets to acting on my old behaviors. Is the obsession kicking in? If the answer is yes - time to do something different.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Originally Posted by whiskerkissed
Even these I have to be mindful of. I was a speed freak for most of my using. Since the age of 12 til I was 44. Played with other drugs a lot - but the painkillers are what brought me to my knees.
With the energy drinks - I have to check my motives. A sponsor asked me one day - am I drinking to try to catch "that buzz" (the replacement) - or am I using it responsibly to just get a morning kick - like coffee. Well - After several monster drinks a day, or 2 five-hour shots at once, EXCESSIVE coffee drinking, etc...I had to look at that. I still drink a monster on occasion, and just TRY and take my coffee away!! but I'm mindful when it gets to acting on my old behaviors. Is the obsession kicking in? If the answer is yes - time to do something different.
With the energy drinks - I have to check my motives. A sponsor asked me one day - am I drinking to try to catch "that buzz" (the replacement) - or am I using it responsibly to just get a morning kick - like coffee. Well - After several monster drinks a day, or 2 five-hour shots at once, EXCESSIVE coffee drinking, etc...I had to look at that. I still drink a monster on occasion, and just TRY and take my coffee away!! but I'm mindful when it gets to acting on my old behaviors. Is the obsession kicking in? If the answer is yes - time to do something different.
Stopping the Train...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sevierville, TN - in the valley of the Great Smoky Mountains
Posts: 978
Suggesting something you've never tried might give the impression these are good - just sayin...:ghug3
I was putting that out there as something to think about for anyone that might think it could be a replacement. I see a lot of people in recovery drinking these things. They WERE a problem for me since most of my life was based on getting that jack. It kicked in my obsession - my disease.
Not arguing, but this can be a problem for some. It was for me early in recovery.
I was putting that out there as something to think about for anyone that might think it could be a replacement. I see a lot of people in recovery drinking these things. They WERE a problem for me since most of my life was based on getting that jack. It kicked in my obsession - my disease.
Not arguing, but this can be a problem for some. It was for me early in recovery.
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Scotland
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Welcome. I hope SR helps you as much as it helped me.
Now for the harsh part. You asked for advice, here it is. Own up to your problem.
You say you're not addicted to codeine, just addicted to getting high. In my opinion, that is BS. But quit for a couple days, your body's reaction will be proof enough.
I fooled myself for ten years thinking I just liked to get high...till I tried to quit!
Now for the harsh part. You asked for advice, here it is. Own up to your problem.
You say you're not addicted to codeine, just addicted to getting high. In my opinion, that is BS. But quit for a couple days, your body's reaction will be proof enough.
I fooled myself for ten years thinking I just liked to get high...till I tried to quit!
Now if it were a physical addiction, i would have experienced the same withdrawals whilst on holiday, but i didnt...why?, not sure, maybe because i went to the U.S.A. and i knew it would have been difficult and possibly expensive to try and source some painkillers. Yet when i went home i took them again.
Thats why im thinking its not a physical addiction, otherwise i'd have been a mess on holiday. I wasn't even bothered whilst i was away, didn't get withdrawals, ok i thought about them the first couple of days, THOUGHT about them, not pined after them.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
Habits are VERY hard to brake. Sometimes mental habits/addictions are harder to brake than physical.
But if it's only mental, then all it takes is ONE day of braking the routine and start a new one. Soon enough you'll be addicted to the new routine. So, if you want to quit, start a new morning habit, something that will equally give you pleasure but different.
But if it's only mental, then all it takes is ONE day of braking the routine and start a new one. Soon enough you'll be addicted to the new routine. So, if you want to quit, start a new morning habit, something that will equally give you pleasure but different.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Scotland
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Originally Posted by kiki5711
Habits are VERY hard to brake. Sometimes mental habits/addictions are harder to brake than physical.
But if it's only mental, then all it takes is ONE day of braking the routine and start a new one. Soon enough you'll be addicted to the new routine. So, if you want to quit, start a new morning habit, something that will equally give you pleasure but different.
But if it's only mental, then all it takes is ONE day of braking the routine and start a new one. Soon enough you'll be addicted to the new routine. So, if you want to quit, start a new morning habit, something that will equally give you pleasure but different.
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