Councelling
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 436
Councelling
I have just started to see a marriage guidance councellor (psychotherapist) on my own (no point in going with AH) to work through some of my issues.
I researched and found a councellor with alcohol abuse experience and I just wanted to say what a dramatic difference it makes to talk to someone who has some knowledge and experience of alcoholics, the denial and behaviours. I have been for councilling in the past a number of times but never felt that the councellor really 'understood' where I was coming from.
If anyone on SR is contemplating councelling, I would highly reccomend looking for someone who has experience in the alcohol/addiction field, it will make all the difference.
I researched and found a councellor with alcohol abuse experience and I just wanted to say what a dramatic difference it makes to talk to someone who has some knowledge and experience of alcoholics, the denial and behaviours. I have been for councilling in the past a number of times but never felt that the councellor really 'understood' where I was coming from.
If anyone on SR is contemplating councelling, I would highly reccomend looking for someone who has experience in the alcohol/addiction field, it will make all the difference.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 207
Thank you Eightball for bringing up counseling. I have been delaying it
for a long time.
I have said that a thousand times. 
I think that sometimes hitting bottom is what it really takes to get help. We always have our little excuses running around our minds preventing ourselves from taking the first step.
for a long time.
Originally Posted by TakingCharge999 
The only thing I regret is not seeking help sooner.
I think that sometimes hitting bottom is what it really takes to get help. We always have our little excuses running around our minds preventing ourselves from taking the first step.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 436
I'm lucky I suppose in the sense that I always seek out help when I need it. There is no shame in getting another opinion and generally the councilors/psychotherapist appear to be standing firmly on steady ground!
I was suffering from really bad anxiety during my meeting this week and struggling to breath and my councilor showed me a couple of exercises to try that worked and I have been practicing them since.
Not all of my counseling periods have gone well but generally something positive comes from them.
I was suffering from really bad anxiety during my meeting this week and struggling to breath and my councilor showed me a couple of exercises to try that worked and I have been practicing them since.
Not all of my counseling periods have gone well but generally something positive comes from them.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 281
Eightball, that's great! I've been wanting to seek counselling too and I've also wanted to find one who understands the dynamics of addiction, adult child stuff etc. Hey, if we didn't live so far away from each other, I'd ask for the phone number! Hope your sessions continue to be a positive experience!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
I totally agree a recovery therapist is the best. Mine helped me alot. She saw him XAH alone once and me alot. She told him to try to just drink a sixpack a day....(she knew he couldn't)...... She saw his denial and could tell what I was up against. She gently nudged me to what we both knew I needed to do. She said he's not a responsible marriage partner. She said my integrity got me out. Her last advice to help me decide was to give him 90 days to do 90 meetings or tell him I was gone. That put it in his court. He did not go so I did. Cut and dry. This was after several years of back and forth....seperate....reconcile.....seperate.....re concile.....It was tough, sad, hard but 3 yrs. post divorce I am doing good. Alanon and my therapist and SR really helped.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Perhaps the people in Alanon would be able to recommend one?
The one I met was through my doctor.
You can also see ads and call and ask if they have experience with addiction/codependence.
After all you can go to one or two sessions and see how you feel, and look elsewhere if its not a good 'fit'
I did that when I arrived to a new city and it has been worth the search. I hope you find someone suitable soon!
The one I met was through my doctor.
You can also see ads and call and ask if they have experience with addiction/codependence.
After all you can go to one or two sessions and see how you feel, and look elsewhere if its not a good 'fit'
I did that when I arrived to a new city and it has been worth the search. I hope you find someone suitable soon!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: California
Posts: 221
100% agree. A "marriage counselor" is going to have you work on communication issues and isn't necessarily going to be on the lookout for manipulations. A counselor with addiction and codependency experience knows how to tease apart those knots.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
I went to a marriage & family counselor three months into my new marriage after being told I was the one with the issues. I purposely chose a man, thinking if I had these issues, then best to have a man work through them with me. This man turned out to have a sub specialty in addictions and he called the real issue within the first 30 minutes of my first session. I wasn't ready to hear it then, but I am back with him again now. I often wonder if this was my HP's intervention that I chose to ignore at that time, but sought again when I was ready to admit the truth. My RAH is now attending with me, and it helps that this counselor has this specialty. I recommend it highly! But I will also admit that progress is sloooooooooooow and that in itself is hard. There is no quick fix, dammit!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
