Inafishbowl

So it's been two weeks. I'm not particularly excited about this because I wasn't a daily drinker. But when I did drink, I binged big time. Probably once a week or once every 2 weeks.

I'm not quite sure what is going on with me these days. I know I've got a pretty heavy case of clinical depression. I'm seeing the therapist and psych again tomorrow. They want to put me on some anti depressant, but I want to go slowly. I'm afraid of the side effects of the drugs, especially..ahem...the sexual ones. I've only been married for 3 years this time around. And my relationship with my husband is one of the few things that gives me a little peace and happiness.

I used to do my drinking at night after everyone went to bed. Now I'm going to bed earlier which is good. The problem is that by 6:00 I'm looking at the clock waiting for 8:00 so I can go to bed. I thought this would be ok if I woke up early for a 6:00 meeting. But I can't seem to peel myself out of bed either. I get my daughter to school by 8:30 and then I end up hitting meetings later in the day, but I have so much more stuff to do. A huge list that is looming over me. I'm like a deer in the headlights and I can't seem to do any of it. I freeze.

I know I shouldn't be sleeping too much and I know the depression has something to do with it. But could this be some form of withdrawal? Can anybody give me any hope that this fatigue is going to lift soon even without anti depressants.

Anna

Well, two weeks is still early and it could be that your depression might lift.

Did your depression come before you began drinking? For me, the depression was there for decades before I started to drink so I did need to get that figured out and treated. I do take antidepressants, have been for years and for me, they level the playing field. I don't want to ever go back to that dark place again, because that is the beginning of the slippery slope for me.

Good for you for seeing a therapist and taking care of yourself!

Sasha4

From my experience - sleeping loads and loads is the norm.

We have often self medicated to go to sleep and that is not restful sleep. It's boozed up unconciousness.

Just sleep when you need to, rest when you need to. In a few months, I am sure you will feel differently.


At the moment try not to worry too much a bout jobs at home. The time will come when you have recovered more and you can get on with jobs etc.

Just look after you at the moment and then when your better (which you will be soon) start looking after your responsibilities

xx

Inafishbowl

Anna, I have been having the chicken/egg conversation with myself for a while as to which came first. I come from a long line of mentally ill family (lots of schizophrenia and schizoaffective). Until now I have had some pretty irrational fears about addressing the depression. Even though I don't hear or see things, I thought perhaps I was bipolar and I just was too fearful of that diagnosis. So I avoided getting help.
After a few visits to the psych and therapist who both work in the same office, they have told me that I am not bipolar. Anti depressents can throw a bipolar person into a tail spin, especially if they have been having suicidal thoughts (which for the first time I had). I'm ok, I'm not going to hurt myself, but I just want to be absolutely sure that I am not bipolar before I start the AD's.
I know it sounds stupid, but those damn side effects really really make me want to stay away from them. All at the same time, I think I probably really do need them. And then my brain wonders if it's the alcoholic in me who is saying "I need them".

I'm so confused.

artsoul

Have you ever been on anti-depressants? I ask that because for me, the only side effect was that after 4 days I somehow woke up looking forward to the day.

If you look online at any medication, the side effects (and people's stories) are downright scary. I think that's because anything that happens to people while they're on that medication has to be considered as a "possible side effect."

If you do find that you have problems with an anti-d, you can always tell your psych you want to stop taking it.

As far as withdrawals, I did have a lot of tiredness for several months. But I was also drinking 4 or 5 days a week.......

Reset

Your fear isn't stupid; I get where you're coming from. I battled with the anti-depressant question for a really long time too.

In fact I just started yesterday. For me the question came down to whether my fear of side effects was greater than my desire to get better (in my case I'm having trouble with motivation). Wanting motivation won out. And I figure that if I don't like them I can always stop.

reggiewayne

I slept a TON in when I first quit. I bet I was in bed 12 to 15 hour per day and didn't have any depression. That was the toll that drinking took on my body.

My modo with early sobriety is "by any means necessary". I found worrying about other things to be too much. I have 70 days today. I don't sleep anywhere near what I did either. Just take it nice and easy. More will be revealed. If you are having concerns with depression I would see a Dr. But, sleeping a lot in early sobriety is pretty normal in my experience...

Ghostly

Sleeping a lot and not being able to sleep are very common. It is still so early for you. Do what your body tells you to do.

As for the meds, just keep working with a mental health professional. I don't think it's stupid at all not to want to be on meds.

You're doin great. Give it some time.