Dignity

looks like I had better take a break from this board for a while. It's such a wonderful place to come and vent but my venting here has hit home. As you all know, we have had some difficulty with our son relapsing and understanding how this happened after so many months clean. I did state on here that we were selling the business truck and before it hit the paper my son got a call wondering about the price of the truck....This is the only place I had announced it was being sold. He did figure out who called and asked me not to tell all about his life on here anymore. I'm not taking the break for him....but for me. I needed a place to vent for myself without sharing with our town. I've appreciated all the advice and support I have been given here but its time to take that break I probably need right now. hugs~ I will continue reading posts and gaining the strenght I need through that..XxOO

Kindeyes

While my son was living with us, I worried that I would forget to log off or he would find out that I was coming to SR or that he would read my posts. What was I worried about? I was worried that he would rage at me and tell me that I have no right to tell "strangers" about his life or mine. That he would make me miserable for coming to a place where I found comfort. Luckily that never happened.

I'm so sorry if your anonymity was compromised. I'll miss your posts.

gentle hugs

thequest

In some respects that may be a good sign that he has shame and embarrassment. Hopefully if comes here it won't be for revenge but advice and information.

GOOD LUCK!

hope2be

I, also am afraid of "being caught". It's ridiculous in one aspect, but I guess I have been so conditioned to keep secrets. I think that is why I have trouble telling all of my story just yet.
Dignity: you & your family will stay in my prayers.

litehorse

i'm sorry you will not be sharing for a while - i do pray that you will still have opportunities to share and vent somewhere until you can come back here - blessings

sojourner

I second what Litehorse said. I do hope you find somewhere else to go where you feel safe and anonymous so you can keep up on your recovery.

I too feel like it could be easy for friends/acquaintances to read my posts (some of the details are so unusual) and figure out who I am.

I'm sorry this happened. Hopefully whoever did this un-wise thing will read this thread and learn the hard lesson of the total need for decorum, anonymity, and confidentiality.

And Kindeyes has reminded me that I need to log out each time. While I do live here alone, there are times when family members come for extended visits with their laptops and could easily get on this site because I have my computer remember my password for me. So much for making life simple.....

atalose

Their “best thinking” is to take drugs/drink. Our “best thinking” is in allowing them to control are recovery. It’s sad that HIS addiction see’s YOUR recovery as such a threat. Yes its true alcoholics/addicts do take hostages.

At least you will still be reading and that’s really good.
((((hugs))))

ladyhawk69

It was me that called about the truck. I know, nobody is surprised. However, I DIDN'T mention this board. I only knew he was missing (again) through our big, but little town. I didn't even think the truck was for sale.... I was just asking if it was. Funny how miscommunication happens so frequently through the addict and always, it's the innocent non addicts (and enablers, codies) that get blamed and/or shamed. It's a shame you've allowed your addict to once again govern your actions. I feel bad for you...honestly.

ladyhawk69

This person does.

JMFburns

In my NarAnon meeting I have shared that I read/post on a (great) sober recovery site. I just wanted to share with my small group because SR has been extremely helpful to me. Thankfully, I would not feel at all threatened about any of them identifying me here, I have no reason to.

Dignity, I am so sorry that you have troubles with this, it is so unfair. I do understand your need to feel safe in your own recovery though. Just reading everyone's post and replies (even adding the occasional "Thank You" tag) has been helpful to me when I wasn't feeling "talky".

You are always in my thoughts, take care of you.
Joan

Kindeyes

I absolutely agree--use care when you log off!! This should be a safe place for our recovery where we can feel free to share. But it is an open forum and anyone is free to come here......even the addicts in our lives. It saddens me that this has happened and that Dignity no longer feels comfortable posting here.

Although I was fearful that my son could have inadvertently found me on this site. there is nothing that I have written that is not true. He could pitch his fit if he wanted to......but that wouldn't stop me from posting.

For those who live with the addict in their lives, I hope you use care to keep this site a safe place to come. Besides logging off, I also keep SR in a separate folder under my favorites and I changed the name of it so that it is not easily recognized as a recovery site. Someone would have to really explore my "Favorites" to find it. These are some of the ways that I protect myself. Perhaps others could share how they protect their computers so that they can continue to feel safe coming here.

Dignity
I would encourage you to continue posting in response to others and provide support to them as you have been doing. Giving support is also important to our own recovery. You could also ask the administrators to change your screen name so that you can once again be anonymous. If you need assistance with that, please PM me and I can point you to the right people.

gentle hugs

keepinon

I have had an amazing experience at alanon with complete anonymity in this small town, I fully expected anonymity to be kept here..or duh we'd all just use our real names!

Ann

I keep SR as my safe place and don't share the site information with anyone...I have considered it but then I don't know who THEY might share it with.

Dignity, you bring a lot of good recovery to this site and I hope you will give second thought to this or return again sometime soon. Your recovery and support is all about you and should remain that way.

However this unfolds, just know that we're walking with you, whether you are here or not.

Big Hugs

Chino

At one time I personally knew a member who visited a different part of this site. I knew who he was immediately because he used the same name everywhere on the web, and it was a very unusual name. His reason for coming here explained so many things in real life and I'll always wish him the best. I've never mentioned him to anyone outside of this board and, if I ever see him again, I'll not say one word.

I wasn't ever worried about him or anyone else finding out about my daughter's addiction, because it's well known in our area. I was worried about someone reading my private thoughts because I've been brutally honest about MYSELF several times here.

My family knows I visit this site but they don't know the name of it. If they asked, I'd tell them the truth with a question of my own, are YOU ready for the truth?

One very dear friend knows all about this place and my name here. His stepdaughter is an addict and, like the rest of us, it's had devastating consequences on his entire family and marriage. I don't know if he still reads but I know he did for a while. I haven't asked and we don't talk about it any more

As far as computers go, any current operating system has an option for multiple desktops. My personal desktop (as the admin) is password protected. I also use a flash drive loaded with a portable version of my browser and stored passwords when I'm on computers at our business office. It leaves no trace, no history, of my activities on the main frame.

givemetennis

I am very sorry that your privacy was violated. It saddens me that it may affect people who really want and need help might not post for fear of the same thing happening to them. For shame...

Hollyanne

I would just like to say, I recently got my knickers all in a bundle because I "knew" something. Turns out, I was SO OFF it was ridiculous. I think this site is very valuable and I would not leave here lightly. I would suggest a complete change of identity and start all over. I am also happy that DEE is very far away coz he is very strict and scares me.

PS, I pouted furiously after getting into a verbal fisticuffs here once but nobody noticed so I came back to annoy people.

wicked

Dee? That sweet man with the muppet for an avatar? No way!
(i am sure he can be when he needs to be)

Did it work? lol
you are funny hollyanne.
i hope i am reading you right.
(i've got cousins in ireland!)

Beth

MissTara

Dignity, I am too saddened that you feel like you have to take a break due to the situation. I hope that you can find a sponser to help you through those rough times on top of being able to read posts & continue your recovery that way.

You will be in my thoughts. =)