dado2

Hello everyone, I have been visiting this site for several weeks now during my recovery and really get inspiration from everyone here. I am a 43 year old married father of two sons, great family, that has struggled with alcohol for about 13 years now. I completed outpatient therapy in dec and now am in the aftercare group, it has been a very positive experience. I try to make to to a meeting or two a week. I am one of the quiet ones that will share on occasion but prefer to listen and learn. Im frustrated because i am doing good, but still have the occasional relapse, just a night, where i give in and drink, i want to be done with this for good. If i drink one time in 3 weeks i feel like i have ruined everything in my recovery, and have trouble getting my spirits back up to keep staying sober. anyone deal with this? thanks so much for all you share.

sailorjohn

Welcome!!!

I wish I could tell you that I could relate, but when I was finally done, I was finally done.

A long time ago-when I was still an active alcoholic-I would congratulate myself on how well I was doing attempting to control my drinking. You know how that all worked out.

kiki5711

Hello new guy!

Kjell

Hiya Dado!

I lived in Richmond VA for 7 years and Virginia is a beautiful place to live.

Yeah, I know what you mean. When I first started going to AA, I would stay sober for 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, but drink inbetween. It took a DUI for me to finally admit I was an alcoholic and accept the responsability that brings.

May I ask if you're actually working the steps in AA? Working the steps in AA removed the obession of drinking and provided me with a design for living without alcohol I needed.

...but guess what? I'm not special. It can work for you too.

Get yourself a sponsor, work the steps, and get ready for the ride of your life.

We can and do recover and YOU can be living proof. How cool is that?

Kjell

julez

Hello, and welcome!
Is there anything that you can think of that commonly happens when you do decide to drink that day?
Do you drink when you're happy, or do you drink because you're sad, mad, frustrated etc?
Or is it just out of boredom?
I can relate to the slips feeling like you've "ruined everything".
Maybe its time to get a sponsor in AA, and stop being the quiet guy? After all, the squeaky wheel gets the grease right?
I think by working the steps with the right person, you could overcome these relapses.
Good luck!

aasharon90

Welcome dado2.

Hi. Im Sharon. I am
an alcoholic.

I read your share and was
able to related 2 several things
you wrote.

My family stepped in with
an intervention back in August
of 1990 sending me to rehab
to get help I so needed at that
time in my life.

I was a mom of 2, married
at 7 yrs and I hit a point
in my life where I just wanted
to stop the insanity of life
and all that is tied up with it.

I stayed for 28 days learning
about my alcoholism and
recieved the tools and knowledge
to set me on the path of recovery
learning to encorperate it in my
everyday life a day at a time.

I went on to finish a 6 week out
patiant aftercare program and
began building a solid foundation
of recovery within my family.

I went to any lenghts to stay
sober attending meetings and
making changes along the way.

My husband who is not a drinker,
cleared the house of all alcohol
while I was in rehab because of
the care,concern and support he
had for me and my recovery.

For that I appreciated it grately.

However, the work I had to
do to stay sober had to be
from me for me. I wanted to
stay sober more than anything
because I had 2 little ones I
needed and wanted to raise
myself. No one else.

That was 20 yrs ago. Today
I am remarried after a 25 yr.
marriage, being there and doing
what was needed of me at that
time. Valentine's Day is my
2nd anniversary to a member
of AA who wished for a riding
partner on his Harley.

We both enjoy riding free in
the wind and living life without
alcohol as a part of it.

I stay sober sober each day
passing on my own experiences,
strengths and hopes with others
that still suffer.

Life continues to get better
the longer I stay sober.

Dee74

Hi dado
Welcome to SR.

Joining SR really helped me to stop that cycle of doing good - not doing so well.

It was great for me to be among people who understood, and a group I came to feel accountable to.

I learned that if I'm still drinking, no matter who little or how infrequently, I really need to do more work and look at what I need to add to my programme.

I hope SR helps - you'll find a lot of support and ideas of what else you could add here

D

dado2

thank you all for your responses, I do need to get more involved in the aa meetings and consider a sponser. I think that boredom and sometimes the same evening routine (tv shows etc) trigger me to want to drink like i used to. thing is, i just dont see it coming, hits me all at once,after a perfectly good day.

Anna

Hi,

Yeah, that's the thing with the triggers - you don't see them coming. But, when you do recognize one, then you can take action. For me, changing my routines really helped in the early days.

Zig210

Dado...I understand what you are going through. I am a binge drinker, and know that I can never, ever be a normal person when I drink. I have been doing a once a week drinker for over 20 years. Hated myself I did it. But...woke up this past Monday morning saying enough. I pray that you hang in there and not give in...nothing will change, and...you will wake up haring yourself. Keep writing and being strong!!!

SSIL75

Welcome! It helped me to have a 'go to' thing instead of alcohol. I'd literally just go through the motions of it with no enthusiasm lol. But it did work and ultimately became things of comfort for me. Going to make a cup of tea, logging on here, folding laundry. Anything really.

I have been sober for 6 mos and it's very rare for me to have a craving now.

Really 101% accepting that I can never drink again was crucial, too. A normal amount of alcohol leaves me dissatisfied. And the amount of alcohol I actually want was killing me.

I am a parent, too. Parenting in recovering is challenging but the rewards are tremendous. I'm sure you'll find (or are finding!) the same.

dado2

that is so completely me, just a little alcohol only aggravates me! its go for broke or not at all, so i know i am not, and never will be a normal drinker. im actually ok with that, it has only brought me many days of feeling anxious and completely ill, in return for precious little relaxation. the trade off isnt worth it.

Zig210

My problem....NEVER know when to stop in social settings. I actually like the total idea of saying I DON'T DRINK. Every time I think about. Anything to do with drinking, I stop myself and say no...you will never wake hating yourself again...

artsoul

Welcome dado - those cravings are truly miserable..... I had some close calls in early sobriety. If I may make a suggestion: at the first hint, come and post/read on this forum. When I did that, I was able to avoid that robotic reflex to get the car keys......

It really does get easier over time and it's such a relief to see that obsession fade away. All the best to you!

Zebra1275

Welcome!

dado2

thurs nights are a trigger for sure, knowing that friday is coming! i think ill be on here tonight.

artsoul

You can do it, dado...... Just think of how you'll feel in the morning if you don't drink. Urges don't last forever - just try to distract yourself. Coming here is a great idea - that's what's kept me sober many, many nights. It really helps to read other people's stories when you start thinking alcohol can give you something you want.

All it does is lie to us.......

Hang in there!