AH sober still-talking about going to AA
I Love Who I Am
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
AH sober still-talking about going to AA
Since I put my foot down during the holidays, we have had only one episode where he tried to drink around the kids. I came to drop them off and he was holding a beer. I took one look at it and rounded up the kids. They got in the car very easily. I didn't even say a word to AH, but over the next week he went through what I think was something close to DT's or something and thought he was dying. He texted to me that he thought he was dying at least. I told him to call 911.
Since, he's been trying to sober up with a fair amount of success. It's early (like, 4-6 weeks or so) and he's talking about AA or church or something.
It's bizarre. I am honest and detached with him about it being none of my business except for the boundary I've drawn about my house and the kids--which is that no alcohol comes in the door or near me or the kids whether it's in your possession or in your body, if you show up with it I call the police. Period.
He's embraced this boundary and thanks me for it, whereas in the past he's raged at me, got drunk anyway and then been remoreseful but not really. This is different. mainly because he's not drinking and talking his face off to me about it. I remain silent most of the time, listen or change the subject.
He's sorting out why he drinks, why he continues to drink, has self identified as an alcoholic who can't control his drinking.
In the past he's talked about these things too, but not been able to string together any substantial time of sobriety. Now that he has, he recognizes he needs additional support from a community of folks who are trying to do the same thing.
To be honest, I'm a bit freaked out by all of this. AA? Really? He swore he would NEVER go there. Like for 16 years.
Of course he hasn't yet and yes of course I know there's nothing I can do to help him.
Weird. All weirdness. Sober he's hilarious and attentive. Kind but also quick to become emotional. Like a baby in some ways, but very gung ho on learning about himself and changing his life.
he turns 40 at the end of the month. Says that has a lot to do with it.
I've been having my own set of issues to deal with, but when I take the time to look at him, he does appear to be going through something substantial. In that I mean, something I've not seen him do before. usually when he's sober, it's ugly. But he seems happy. Determined.
I hope he can pull it off, but honestly? I dont' expect it.
Since, he's been trying to sober up with a fair amount of success. It's early (like, 4-6 weeks or so) and he's talking about AA or church or something.
It's bizarre. I am honest and detached with him about it being none of my business except for the boundary I've drawn about my house and the kids--which is that no alcohol comes in the door or near me or the kids whether it's in your possession or in your body, if you show up with it I call the police. Period.
He's embraced this boundary and thanks me for it, whereas in the past he's raged at me, got drunk anyway and then been remoreseful but not really. This is different. mainly because he's not drinking and talking his face off to me about it. I remain silent most of the time, listen or change the subject.
He's sorting out why he drinks, why he continues to drink, has self identified as an alcoholic who can't control his drinking.
In the past he's talked about these things too, but not been able to string together any substantial time of sobriety. Now that he has, he recognizes he needs additional support from a community of folks who are trying to do the same thing.
To be honest, I'm a bit freaked out by all of this. AA? Really? He swore he would NEVER go there. Like for 16 years.
Of course he hasn't yet and yes of course I know there's nothing I can do to help him.
Weird. All weirdness. Sober he's hilarious and attentive. Kind but also quick to become emotional. Like a baby in some ways, but very gung ho on learning about himself and changing his life.
he turns 40 at the end of the month. Says that has a lot to do with it.
I've been having my own set of issues to deal with, but when I take the time to look at him, he does appear to be going through something substantial. In that I mean, something I've not seen him do before. usually when he's sober, it's ugly. But he seems happy. Determined.
I hope he can pull it off, but honestly? I dont' expect it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Originally Posted by transformyself 
I hope he can pull it off, but honestly? I dont' expect it.
I hope he can pull it off.
I'm not putting any money down but I say a prayer every night. That is all we can do really.
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