closetdrinker

Ok, I've been through days 1, 2, 3 and 4, and I failed. The hard part is getting started again. Just like the let down after a big race. One accomplishment is no excuse to party again. The hard part is to keep running. Run through the accomplishments. Keep going! The race is never over.

I set myself up for the holiday. Blew off Christmas after a good start. But I did not keep running. I need to keep running. I want to keep running. I must keep running.

Yeah, and I kept promising I will start my race again. Only to say, maybe tomorrow, then the next day, then again the next. January came and went.

So now I cast it in stone. Today is day ZERO. This is the begining. Tomorrow I will come back here again. Tomorrow will day one. I have cast it in stone. I will have no excuse. It starts now.

I will see you here tomorrow at mile 1. Yes I will! Now I've said it. No more putting it off.

FrothyJay

I can really identify with the broken promises.

I would wake up every morning and say, "It starts today." And I was not lying. In fact, if you gave me a lie-detector test, I'm sure I would have passed.

But I could not stop. At some point during the day, my resolve changed, I felt better, and, well, I could always try again tomorrow.

This is the insanity of alcoholism. And I've come to learn that no amount of effort on my part could stop it.

I needed help, but I first had to admit complete defeat.

artsoul

Glad you're making the commitment (I can relate to lots of day zeroes!). I like the running analogy - I often look upon my sobriety as a marathon (or in training for a marathon). I come here each day to warm up and remember the long term goal.

Sometimes it takes several failed attempts to see what we're up against. This time can be it! Stay close to your support system (here, AA, or whatever).

All the best for day 1 tomorrow.....

Soph

Okay Closet...what are you going to do differently this time?

Hugs!

reggiewayne

Welcome Closet! One day at a time man.

MsCooterBrown

Closet..you have the determination down pat. Now it is time to fully accept the fact that you can no longer drink. You tried. It kicked your @ss again. Get mad and fight it off! Good for you to give it another go!!!

LexieCat

"Casting it in STONE."

Now, why didn't the rest of us think of that?

dairo

Well I guess I'll be the realist here.

Sounds like you really don't want to quit, or don't have enough consequences to warrant you actually taking this seriously. If you don't do anything differently how do you expect change to take place? Keep on trying this with willpower and you will keep getting the same results. This takes WORK! Not just saying... oh I'll do it tommorow, NO! Sorry but it doesn't work that way. And I'm not trying to be an ass, but just browsing this website every now and again will not keep you sober.

Missybuns

tomorrow? why not NOW?

closetdrinker

I hear you. Dunno if I have an answer for you. Day 1 is done. I needed to set the day to start. And yes, I will keep coming back. See you tomorrow.

Went to a movie today, True Grit. First theature movie since the last James Bond flick

Dee74

congrats on day 1 down, closetdrinker.

D

ReadyAndAble

Way to go, closetdrinker. I totally identify with your original post. I spent years on the verge of quitting. Hundreds of tomorrows came and went. But here I am today; that's the important thing. Congrats on Day 1 — and your renewed determination.

Missybuns

Congratulations on Day 1!

MsCooterBrown

Casting it in stone works for ALOT of us. It is just accepting that you can no longer drink.

FBL

Congrats on Day 1! We've ALL been where you are now. Even though I'm now on Day 594 (I just looked it up), I sometimes think of every day as my Day 1, because I don't ever want to forget what it was like and how much better my life is sober. One of the most important things I can do is not drink today, time will take care of the rest.