first AA meeting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 264
first AA meeting
So I had my first AA meeting today. It was a women's meeting. Much bigger than I had envisioned. It was an hour and a half long, much longer than I envisioned too. One girl grabbed me on my way in and was SO overbearing and chipper, I couldn't breathe. I know she was trying to be nice, but I just needed to be there and listen and get myself acclimated. Although she really bugged me, I know she meant well. Everybody else was very nice and welcoming. Women of all ages. It was so nice to see so many in their 70's for some reason.
I pretty much just sat there and cried. I couldn't have spoken a word if I tried. I was happy to be there, but I just couldn't breathe all at the same time. I'm almost finished with the big book. I'm going to another meeting tomorrow morning. I still have ZERO urge to drink, but don't want to get cocky about that. It was nice being surrounded by all of those wise women. Not sure when to speak, when/how to look for a sponsor. Sort of overwhelmed and sad.
I'm sitting down with my sisters and dad tomorrow night and coming clean about my depression and binge drinking at home late at night. I was never a daily drinker, but when I did have a drink, man oh man was I making up for that. I'm scared to talk to them. They love me and are very supportive but it's still scary. 2 of my sisters are (IMO) alcoholics also. One (also IMO) a much bigger drinker than I am. It's going to be hard to admit to them that I feel like I'm an alcoholic. But I just feel like I need to come out of the closet, so to speak. I hope I'm not making a mistake.
It's been a week since I drank, flipped out, got arrested during a major black out. But I'm not particularly proud of myself because I often went weeks at a time. Still I have never actually said I was going to quit until now.
Thanks for reading. My head is all over the place.
I pretty much just sat there and cried. I couldn't have spoken a word if I tried. I was happy to be there, but I just couldn't breathe all at the same time. I'm almost finished with the big book. I'm going to another meeting tomorrow morning. I still have ZERO urge to drink, but don't want to get cocky about that. It was nice being surrounded by all of those wise women. Not sure when to speak, when/how to look for a sponsor. Sort of overwhelmed and sad.
I'm sitting down with my sisters and dad tomorrow night and coming clean about my depression and binge drinking at home late at night. I was never a daily drinker, but when I did have a drink, man oh man was I making up for that. I'm scared to talk to them. They love me and are very supportive but it's still scary. 2 of my sisters are (IMO) alcoholics also. One (also IMO) a much bigger drinker than I am. It's going to be hard to admit to them that I feel like I'm an alcoholic. But I just feel like I need to come out of the closet, so to speak. I hope I'm not making a mistake.
It's been a week since I drank, flipped out, got arrested during a major black out. But I'm not particularly proud of myself because I often went weeks at a time. Still I have never actually said I was going to quit until now.
Thanks for reading. My head is all over the place.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,899
Welcome! In my experience it can, and will get better if you work the program of AA. Unfortunately, the changes (in AA Speak they are sometines referred to as the promises) won't happen overnight. But if you keep working the program they will happen. You are off to a good start.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: The "beltway"
Posts: 785
Hi and welcome! My head was all over the place too when I first came here to SR a few weeks back, this is a good and comforting place to be.
Sending you good thoughts as you meet with your family.
Sending you good thoughts as you meet with your family.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Proud of ya! Believe me, you will feel MUCH better very soon. For me, it was a huge relief to give up the fight and hang out with people who knew where I'd been and could help me get where they are.
Lots of groups offer "temporary sponsors". If yours don't do that, you can ask someone to be your sponsor for now--you can always change if it doesn't work out well. It can help a lot to get the one-on-one guidance, and ask all the "dumb" questions we all have (lol, which, of course, is not to say they're dumb, we just feel like they are).
Keep reading the book. And when you're done, read it again.
Lots of groups offer "temporary sponsors". If yours don't do that, you can ask someone to be your sponsor for now--you can always change if it doesn't work out well. It can help a lot to get the one-on-one guidance, and ask all the "dumb" questions we all have (lol, which, of course, is not to say they're dumb, we just feel like they are).
Keep reading the book. And when you're done, read it again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
I hope they taught you the secret handshake.
Congrats. It will never be as hard to walk into an AA meeting again.
As for the energetic greeter, sounds like you handled it well. AA is a cross-section of society, so you get all types.
Congrats. It will never be as hard to walk into an AA meeting again.
As for the energetic greeter, sounds like you handled it well. AA is a cross-section of society, so you get all types.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Originally Posted by Inafishbowl 
Did I mention the chipper one had a huge purple and orange hickie? I'm already judging. I'm going to hell.
As for hell, well, the line forms in the rear.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
temporary sponsor is someone who just offers to be your stand-in sponsor until you find someone you feel comfortable with. Sometimes the temporary becomes permanent. Meetings offer them to newcomers because it's pretty important to have a personal connection with someone right from the beginning-- someone you can check in with regularly, as you get your bearings.
A sponsor, in my eyes, should be someone who has had an experience with the 12-step program of recovery in AA, and can help you have that same experience.
Get a lot of phone numbers and start calling people-- just to get in the habit of getting to know people. Just say "hi, I'm new from the meeting, and trying to make some calls." They'll fill in the rest of the conversation, believe me.
Show up early. That's when the hickeys are dispensed.
A sponsor, in my eyes, should be someone who has had an experience with the 12-step program of recovery in AA, and can help you have that same experience.
Get a lot of phone numbers and start calling people-- just to get in the habit of getting to know people. Just say "hi, I'm new from the meeting, and trying to make some calls." They'll fill in the rest of the conversation, believe me.
Show up early. That's when the hickeys are dispensed.
Not waving, but drowning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 423
Congrats on going today!
I totally had to screw up my courage to go to one, and I felt like I was doing everything "wrong" the minute I walked in
I loved that you had a sense of humor about the greeter. Good luck on talking with your family.
D
I totally had to screw up my courage to go to one, and I felt like I was doing everything "wrong" the minute I walked in
I loved that you had a sense of humor about the greeter. Good luck on talking with your family.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Originally Posted by Inafishbowl
What is a temporary sponsor vs. a permanent?
From what I've seen, a lot of times a temporary sponsor becomes the 'sponsor' unless there is a serious personality conflict or the newcomer checks out and goes back to drinking (or the sponsor does). I don't think there are permanent sponsors per se, although some people stay with their first sponsor for a long long time, sometimes til they pass.
Either way, temporary sponsorship or sponsorship - both have the same role: to help introduce the newcomer to the program of recovery offered by alcoholics anonymous, answer their questions and guide them through the step work...
Good job on coming so far already!!! And I wouldn't sweat the hicky or the exuberant person that you met, as was already stated it takes all kind to make a world, and AA is a part of this world
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Posts: 9
I got some good advice from an "old-timer". He said, "don't worry about getting the program, the program will get you". It sure made me feel better. I was struggling with feeling like a failure because all the "gurus" were constantly taking my inventory. Now, I keep working MY program, and let the rest worry about theirs.
Good job!
Good job!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Inafishbowl, that's great that you aren't being fearful of the phone numbers. One thing that I was taught and it turned out to be very true and useful was to get used to calling people in AA early on - don't make your phone a 500lb phone! - and that way if becomes habit early on when you need to call people later when you're hitting a rough spot it'll be second nature. It's truly been an incredibly helpful tool for me, especially in my early days when I needed someone to just blab to someone (and of course offered my ear for them to blab to me!).
Glad to hear you've got a lot willingness to try the AA thang - it works, it really does!
Glad to hear you've got a lot willingness to try the AA thang - it works, it really does!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: des moines ia
Posts: 362
I cant really add anything here. Looks like everybody else has done a great job with there responses!! I will say that a sense of humor is a great asset in this. I went in as most people do in a gut wrenching pit of emotions. When I found out it was OK to laugh it made all the difference in the world for me.
Best of luck to ya, Ron
Best of luck to ya, Ron
~ still a believer ~
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 141
shoot! had a nice long post to you, and it got wiped out.
I'll do the short version (probably better anyhow)
"to place principles before personalities"...there's a reason why that's a part of our 12th tradition (because it takes all types to make AA) even this gal
the other thing is to get a sponsor! IMHO its essential....we have,do and can tell ourselves exactly what we want to hear and think sometimes........and thats NOT what we need!
we need someone who can tell us we're not flying right! too low to the ground...crooked or just plain~ol into the power lines!
and once again (IMHO) your sponsor should be someone who has had a "spiritual awakening as a result of these steps"
you're on the right track.........by just showing up
"rarely have we seen a person fail, who has thoroughly followed our path"
I get humbled EVERY time I hear these words, because they meant ME too.
I'll do the short version (probably better anyhow)
"to place principles before personalities"...there's a reason why that's a part of our 12th tradition (because it takes all types to make AA) even this gal
the other thing is to get a sponsor! IMHO its essential....we have,do and can tell ourselves exactly what we want to hear and think sometimes........and thats NOT what we need!
we need someone who can tell us we're not flying right! too low to the ground...crooked or just plain~ol into the power lines!
and once again (IMHO) your sponsor should be someone who has had a "spiritual awakening as a result of these steps"
you're on the right track.........by just showing up
"rarely have we seen a person fail, who has thoroughly followed our path"
I get humbled EVERY time I hear these words, because they meant ME too.
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