yogalady

Well I really messed up last night. Went to the pub with my husband and kids for dinner and got totally wasted. Decided to stay later than the rest of the group and partied with a bunch of people I don't even know. My daughter and her boyfriend had to drag me out of there and, of course, I blacked out and can't remember past a certain point of the evening. I have been to AA in the past for about 9 months but my brain somehow decided I could handle alcohol and have been drinking regularly for a few years now. My husband is able to have a couple of beers and stop but not me. I don't usually drink outside of my house either. I am very messed up today and just needed to share this with someone. I have apologized to my kids and my daughter's boyfriend but my husband went to work early and will need to see if I can make amends with him when he gets home. I am not sure what he is going to say and I am very sure he is quite mad at me. I know I am an alcoholic because I just cannot stop at 1 drink. I always have to drink the whole bottle. I am ready now to maintain some form of sobriety in my life as I cannot tolerate myself when I do things like what I did last night. I must get some sanity back into my life. Thanks for listening.

Dee74

Welcome yogalady

I remember waking up many mornings cringing at what I'd done the night before. The good news is I gave up drinking and that never happens anymore

Are you thinking of going back to AA?

Welcome to SR anyway - you'll find a lot of support here
D

Baschoen

Places like this are great where you can come and share your feelings at any point of the day. With that being said going to meetings is something that can't be replaced by a message board, some people can do it only coming here. For me I know that if I don't go to meetings and talk to other alcoholics/drug users face to face and hear about their experience, strength, and hope, that I could never get sober or stay sober for that matter. I'm not trying to scare you but this is a lifetime disease and you have to work at it everyday. I'm struggling with that idea myself, but I know its true. Good luck to you, you seem to know what you need to do to get back on track.

yogalady

Thanks for listening. I called our local AA office and got a schedule of the meetings. I am planning on going tomorrow at noon. They have meetings 7 days a week at noon which works good for me since I work from home and the kids are at school then. I'm pretty down today which is usually how I feel after a binge but hopefully I can somehow lift my spirits.

least

Welcome to the family. We're here to help and support you in your journey to sober living. A lot of us have been in the same sort of situations and understand how you feel. I'm glad you found us and joined the family.

ReadyAndAble

Welcome to SR! I could almost never stop at one drink either—or when I could, it was a real struggle and not something I enjoyed. I find it so much easier to just stay away from the first drink. And like D said, it means cringe-free mornings!