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Old 02-01-2011, 01:48 AM
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well...

here goes everything and nothing

I'm in love with someone who wants me to change. More importantly, I want me to change.

I'm a functional alcoholic, but know I could function much, much better.

I drink at night as a way to relax, heal the day and fall asleep. I have no illusions around the fact that I am addicted to alcohol.

I was on these boards for about a year and a half, I think, under a different name.

I drank tonight. Not sheets to the wind, but certainly not sober.

I tried AA for three years, and while I know it's effective for some, I'm wondering about success stories outside of AA.

I'm a smart cat, but I'm also very much in need of help.

Looking to start again,

Dave
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Old 02-01-2011, 01:59 AM
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Welcome back Dave

For me acceptance was the key - I had to accept that if I wanted the kind of life I wanted and be the kind of man I wanted to be, I had to cut alcohol out of my life. Alcohol had to cease being a viable option, under any circumstances.

Whatever you do - be active in your recovery.

Do everything you can to change your life, Dave - think about what you need to change in your life to make sobriety a permanent fixture.

I don't use AA so it's not mandatory...I do think a definite programme of recovery has it's advantages tho. As you must already know it can be a tough road to hoe what ever way you go.

Just take it a day at a time to start - you'll find a lot of support here.

Here's some links to some of the main recovery players - you may read something that interests you, or that you can use for youself.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

D
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Old 02-01-2011, 03:56 AM
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Welcome back. There is great support here. I'd like to reiterate someting Dee said:

Whatever you do - be active in your recovery
When I ceased being active in my recovery I relapsed.
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Old 02-01-2011, 04:53 AM
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Welcome to SR. Hope this go-around works out for you.

I'm a couple days shy of five months sober--without AA, without any formal recovery plan. There are those that might say abstinence isn't recovery. They might be right. However, I determined that drinking was my problem and stopping has brought much improvement in my life.

So quit drinking. Today. Right now. If you don't see an improvement in your life, if life is more miserable sober than when you were drinking, then maybe the problem is deeper than an addiction to alcohol. Perhaps then you'll be open to AA.

Good luck.
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Old 02-01-2011, 05:06 AM
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Anodyne - It's great you came back & want a new life for yourself.

It was so hard for me to admit my drinking wasn't fun or relaxing any more. I kept seeking the old euphoria I once felt. I finally convinced myself my life would be cut short if I didn't stop. I didn't attend AA meetings, mostly used SR & books for inspiration & encouragement.

Glad you're back here with us, Dave! Let us know how it's going.
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Old 02-01-2011, 06:22 AM
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Welcome! I have 61 days sober today. This is the longest stretch of days I've had since I was 15. The thing I did different this time was AA. I find it to be wonderful. I know there are several here who have gotten into recovery without it, but for me, AA seems to be working.

My problem has always been how to "stay quit". I would make resolutions that I'm never going to drink, but could never find a way to not drink and be happy. AA and this site have given me that.

I think what has helped me is I have made a lot of friends in AA and have a great sponsor. I think it's very important to find a meeting that you're comfortable in.

I'm a little "gunshy" to call me a success story this soon, but I will say AA has allowed me to get the most sober time of my life and I really like going. Hope that helps!
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Old 02-01-2011, 06:32 AM
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Hi Dave and welcome back!

I'm closing in on 7 months...wow! I tried for 4-5 years to quit and never made more than 6 days. The difference this time is a lot of things.

SR makes a difference. I work on my life with a life coach. I have not only accepted that I wont drink again but have embraced it. Alcohol is no longer something to be desired in my mind. It is a revolting soul destroyer...and thinking of it that way helps me.

Check out The Secular section of the forum...I actually believe in God but find a program of knowledge and science has helped me. I have also read a million self help books and books about addiction. I feel all these factors have helped me. If at some point I need to change things up I am open to that too. What worked 6 months ago might not work 6 months from now.

Aa isn't necessary in my opinion but being proactive is

LaFemme
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Old 02-01-2011, 06:41 AM
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Welcome Back Andy .... (Dave) ..

I often wondered what became of you , Your screen name is why .. something about it in my train of thoughts i spose , anyways . you ask of sucess storys outside AA .
Well Im not sure if Im AA or not , tho I do attend a meeting here and there , but its a long ways for me to make a meeting like I would love to make ,
So you see , Im not your typical AA'er
I have maintained my soberity with out relapse since day one , today I am 7 yrs plus a few months sober .
Ive been asked countless times how do I do it . To be honnest Im not sure I can put it in a sentence f understaning for another , Tho I know it been workin for me . As a rule of thumb , I do something each day revolving around my soberity , be it come here and read/post . hit the chat room , ( attend the fri nite online meeting ) read a page from reflections , and have a gain size piece of patience and hope, that I'll stay sober today .

For many it takes lots more then that .. its what works for YOU .. if my plan wasent workin I would doctor it up til it does work .Another big thing for me that does help .. thats helping others ..I need to empty my cup as one said in a recent meeting . and filling it back up any means possible ( meetings/reading/sharing) . Not sure my ramblings help or not but , Just find something that can work for you .. and stay with it each day , no matter what .. gotta make time for it .. weclome back again Andy .. huggles End
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Old 02-01-2011, 06:49 AM
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I hid behind the "functional alcoholic" moniker for years, and probably was up until the last 12 months. Now I think of myself as a regular alcoholic that needs help.

Good luck in your recovery!
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Old 02-01-2011, 07:27 AM
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I have found that my definition of "functioning" changed to suite whatever stage of my alcoholism I was in. When I was younger I was "funtioning" if I could still go to class and work out. As I got older I was "functioning" if I could still go to work. As I got into my 30's I was "functioning" if I had never been arrested and still had my kids. At the end, I was "functioning" if I could just somehow not drink twice per week...

I firmly believe this is a progressive illness. The question is, what can I do to live life on daily basis happy and sober. That is where the 12 steps of AA come in....
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Old 02-01-2011, 10:31 AM
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Thank you EVERYONE! It's nice to have your support and to know that I'm not alone here.

I understand that AA works for a lot of people, but refuse to accept that it's "the only way". People quit smoking cigarettes every day without CA, don't they?
What I mean to say is that I appreciate those weighing in who have had success outside AA especially.

Endzoner, I appreciate the thought, though this is a brand new screenname, so you may be wondering what became of someone other than me. I am what's become of Blake'sTyger. That's the old name.

I drink just about every night. I'm going to start tonight by somehow refusing to give in to craving. Falling asleep is very hard for me, but I am determined not to drink just for today and tonight...for now.

Thanks again for the support everyone. I hope to be a supportive voice for all of you too as I slowly make my way back to health.

Dave
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Old 02-01-2011, 10:57 AM
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Hey Dave!

Jumping back in. Early on I had to resign myself to the fact that I wouldn't really sleep for a week...I Just had to suck up and deal

You might want to check out "the easy way to stop drinking" by Allan Carr ...I think it helped me a lot

Good luck!
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