New member here :)
New User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 62
New member here :)
New to the site not to AA, been trying to battle my disease since OCT 09, had brief stints of sobriety, many 30's, 60's I think the longest I went was 78 days. Well Im back after another relapse. Have 4 days today, feel great, pray to my HP daily. Feel this time will be different. I realize its life or death now. I will share my full story later, just wanted to say hi and I appreciate any and all support. Thanks
Steve
Steve
New User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 62
Thanks Artsoul, just watched My name is Bill w. the other day and had a new outlook on AA and how I can change my life for the better. Second, third etc chances are not always given. Im lucky I have the choice to not drink today. (also just noticed that your sobriety date is my bellybutton birthday ) we share a special day 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Welcome.
For me, I had to realize that I did not have the choice to drink today if I'm an alcoholic. As long as I thought I had a choice, I kept choosing to drink.
You said you have been in AA, which is great. But to be clear, AA should not be a self-help pep rally for sobriety. It's a spiritual program of recovery for people who have lost the power of choice, people who relapse over and over and over again.
I believe some of the AA slogans that have become commonplace are somewhat dangerous. One of them is, "I have a choice whether or not to drink today." For the hopeless alcoholic, this is not true, until they've had some sort of psychic change, or personality shift, or spiritual awakening sufficient to keep them from doing what they've always done-- drink.
There are certainly people who stay sober based on will power. But if you are relapsing consistently, it might be that willpower, the thought that you control whether or not you drink, is the problem.
I got sober when I stopped trying not to drink, and started trying to find a power that could restore me to sanity. It was not prayer that got me there-- it was the 12 steps.
For me, I had to realize that I did not have the choice to drink today if I'm an alcoholic. As long as I thought I had a choice, I kept choosing to drink.
You said you have been in AA, which is great. But to be clear, AA should not be a self-help pep rally for sobriety. It's a spiritual program of recovery for people who have lost the power of choice, people who relapse over and over and over again.
I believe some of the AA slogans that have become commonplace are somewhat dangerous. One of them is, "I have a choice whether or not to drink today." For the hopeless alcoholic, this is not true, until they've had some sort of psychic change, or personality shift, or spiritual awakening sufficient to keep them from doing what they've always done-- drink.
There are certainly people who stay sober based on will power. But if you are relapsing consistently, it might be that willpower, the thought that you control whether or not you drink, is the problem.
I got sober when I stopped trying not to drink, and started trying to find a power that could restore me to sanity. It was not prayer that got me there-- it was the 12 steps.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 12
Welcome Steve! Glad you are here. I am pretty new myself and relapsed after 40 days but now am back. I wasn't posting and reading SR and it shows in my weakness by drinking again. I should have kept involved with SR. Good luck to you.
New User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 62
Thanks for all the welcomes everyone, its really appreciated. And Frothy thank you so much for your post. I understand I dont have the choice because if I think that way I will drink, what I was referring to is being alive. I take this disease very seriously now, life or death, so being alive and waking up from my last relapse 4 days ago, I do have another choice or chance I should say. But I have to recoil from any type of alcohol as if it were a loaded shotgun or red hot flame. because I know if I drink again the odds are now in favor of me not living. I want to live. I want to be productive. I wand to be joyous happy and free, alcohol never gave me that. Temp relieve always followed by worse problems built up, jails, hospitilization, losing my fiance and home, losing work.. yet I still thought I could handle it. lol insanity!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community....
when I began my AA Steps...I felt a shift from
often shakey sobreity into solid recovery...
Glad you are here and starting again.
when I began my AA Steps...I felt a shift from
often shakey sobreity into solid recovery...
Glad you are here and starting again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
This jumped out ay me:
If you are "trying to battle" your disease, this makes e question if you have taken step 1 yet. There is no "battle". We are beaten. The BB says "we gave up fighting everyone and everything, including alcohol". This is the part of the first paradox of AA - we have to surrender to win.
Have you surrendered?
New to the site not to AA, been trying to battle my disease since OCT 09
Have you surrendered?
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