soberjoseph

ok so i'm off the booze just over a month. life has become so normal and boring. things aren't improving. still getting rejected for jobs, I have no interest in anything. I pretty much don't leave the house now. my friends stopped calling really coz I'm not going to go drinking.

I'm going on a stag in a week and that is going to be so tough not to drink at with 20 hard drinkers.

i'm fed up with it all, so more depressed than when I was drinking and thinking just to give in........ as drinking was my only enjoyment in life

LexieCat

Wow--that sounds depressing, all right.

Have you considered trying AA? Among the other virtues of the AA program (which will go a long way toward finding new meaning in your life), you are likely to make a lot of new, sober friends. I had a tendency to isolate myself, and found that the fellowship at the meetings was good for getting me out of the house and back among the living.

Tobyc1972

I'M back from a 'slip' but prior to that I had put together a coupla years of sobriety and I'm here to tell ya this too shall pass. I did very little the first YEAR except work and go to meeting...oh and play video games. But life comes back...you make new sober friends, you try new things, and old things become new things because you are SOBER! The second year I decided I needed a life so I took a part time job at a lil resturant met people, learned to socialize with 'normal people' I started dating thanks to the wonders of the internet (boy that was an adventure). I tried new things that never would have crossed my drunken skull in the old days.... I will never forget the the day I called my mother and said "Guess what I did today? I went Kayaking!" And her reply was something like "You're joking?!?


Just hang in there, there is more to life than booze.... LOTS MORE!

FrothyJay

The notion that things get better when we stop drinking is really inaccurate.

For most people, they get worse. Why? Because the underlying cause of our alcoholism remains. And your medicine for that condition-- alcohol-- is now gone.

If you're an alcoholic like me and countless others, you won't be able to sustain it. It's virtually impossible.

This is why the program of AA is about treating the underlying causes and conditions that cause our misery, distress, and disconnectedness with the world and those around us.

Stopping drinking is just the beginning. If that's all you're doing, in my opinion, it's unsustainable.

If you want to find peace and happiness- the ability to exist in this world without expectation, to be of service and find genuine contentment-- go to an AA meeting and ask for a sponsor who is familiar with the recovery program outlined in the Big Book.

Or, feel free to message me and I will try to help you.

soberjoseph

thanks for replies. everything seems bad now as I met most of my friends through drinking and its the only way I really get out is to go to a pub. everything surrounds drinking. I'm more fun when I'm drunk. without it I'm losing friends, not socialising, more depressed

the anger and resentment you get when you say...i'll just have an orange juice. people who once knew you as the life of the party. the laughing, ah he'll be back on it in a week. Now I'm trying to avoid these situations which leaves me staying in on the weekends and its hard to get out of bed to get excited about anything.

i do have a girlfriend but even she will probably get bored of a sober me

Anna

You need to know that stopping drinking is just the beginning.

I had to change everything in my life in order to recover and that included some people. Why not try to meet your friends in a different setting, like a coffee shop? I think you need to take action and do different things. Go out in your community and volunteer. You can give back to your community and you can meet new people. Join a sports team, take a course, do whatever you're interested in.

dubbguy

Reality is you need to let go of the past. I was the life of the party too but the party is over for me. If you are honest with yourself was the party even that much fun the past few years? It seemed it when I was still drinking but looking back I wasn't really having fun anyway.
You need to replace drinking with some of the million and one more productive, healthy and actually interesting things people do to fill their time.
If it was fun to drink and stare at the wall now that you quit drinking there is no reason to believe that staring at the wall is going to be fun.

soberjoseph

all true. if i could get a job it would help. damn economy. gettin knocked back for jobs and being sober isnt my ideal january. will try to get through it

worldrenowned

try to focus on what is good in your life, and what is good right now is sobriety...

surely trying to get a job without a hangover is better than trying to get a job with one, you can't control who hires you, who is your friend, who respects your sobriety and who doesn't

what you can do is not drink and that is something to be proud of
i am proud of you and I don't know you but I know the experience because i have been where you are...

as i write this from my hotel room with my kids and wife miles away because i am an alcoholic, I am still grateful that yesterday i did not have a drink, and so far today i have not had a drink

one day at a time, focus on what you do have
good luck

spen71

I am only at 23 days but I agree with what people say. Go to AA and meet sober people. I have so many plans now that I am not thinking about the next drink.

CarolD

I've been mad...sad and glad in AA
but bored? Never!

I've switched jobs paths 3 times after sobriety.

One time...I found a job via my AA friends.
Before and after meetings I told everyone I needed one.
Within a few weeks...I did a bit of OJT...and changed careers.

In this bad economy...is there any way you could retrain
for another field that you find interesting?

Dee74

Hi soberjoseph

I had the idea that getting sober would fix me...but I was still bored, still sick, still unemployed...but I was in a far better position to do something about all my problems sober than I was drunk.

I dunno about you but I drank for years...it took me a little time to dig my way out of the various holes I'd dig myself in that time - some were financial, some were social, some were emotional - but I did it....

The key, as I found it, was to get out of the drinking loop....it still took a lot more work for me to be happy and comfortable in my skin...but as long as I stayed sober I had every chance of making everything else ok. Getting sober is a decision I've never regretted

You'll find a lot of support and ideas here Joseph - welcome

D

soberjoseph

thanks guys. I'm not going to give up. sometimes the weekends are hard as it used to be thurs,fri,sat same drunken mess. i'm still sending off cv's and will keep trying.

i've been binge drinking for about 14 years, arrested numerous times and DUI's. will continue to get out of alcohols grip

reggiewayne

Hey soberjoseph... Sobriety without recovery, for me, is miserable. I agree with you. We must find another way to live life without alcohol. AA has shown me a life that I never knew. We are not designed to be alone. I know you mentioned you're not doing a lot with your friends and you are feeling depressed. I agree, being alone and not having a lot of luck finding work would be depressing if nothing else was in place to help you.

The good news is there is a place for you. In AA you can make friends, share what's going on in your life, listen how others have found recovery, and get "connected" with life again.

There are other programs of recovery as well, but if you're open to trying AA you might really like it. I know I do. Read through some of my old posts and you'll find utter hopelessness. I can honestly say, that today I don't feel that way.

Hang in there, it gets better - but it takes some action on our part...

soberjoseph

ok so the good news is that I got a job and the bad news is after the first week I was feeling really good and guess what I went out the saturday. ended up buying a bottle of rum..drank the whole thing plus more...got arrested and locked up for the night. the worst hangover of my life and now back at square one

Bikeguy

Sorry to hear that soberjoseph, but I'm glad your back. May-be the arrest and results of buying that bottle are enough to get you to give it up for good. Keep posting and reading here it can be very helpful during the difficult days.

LoftyIdeals

Hi Soberjoe, I'm relatively new here - 19 days. It's still March, so why don't you join the "Marchers". I've found a great deal of wisdom and support in the words here. I have too often sabatoged new-found success with my actions. I think its part of our disease. Have you found an AA sponsor?

soberjoseph

sounds like a good idea. how do I get a sponsor? i'll join the march group too

eddie73

Joseph, it is tough because it is really tough. The options are drink and die slowly or live without drink and try to make the most of it.
Unfortunately it is so hard because we have been running away for years with alcohol. We have to face things now or go back drinking.
If you go on a stag with 20 hard drinkers you will drink too. No question of that. I have stopped going on these trips because I cannot stay sober on them.
I hope you find, little by little the peace everyone alive deserves before it is too late.

FallenAngelPDX

I think it helps a lot to have a sponsor, or at least a friend you can call who understands that you are trying to recover. I know I have to call mine frequently, even if it's just because I'm lonely and I need to hear someones voice for a few minutes. Good luck, keep posting. I feel like the safest place to be in times like this is in a good community.