TakingCharge999

I feel angry and anxious about various things but I am still feeling peace.
There is hope, as long as we are in this recovery path, and you know what we have to give ourselves credit for sharing our pain and fears and thoughts and being OPEN to hear other ideas...... ok, some hurt, some we disagree with but just being able to interact in this way is a step forward.

I recently came across this as I saw a friend I had 2 years ago, and she is still in Victim Mode, very very negative & pessimistic even if she has been given tools to change. I see myself there as I was like that 28 years. Very sad way to live. NO way to live.

And a 3rd party told me, that I have changed (or started to change..) because I am humble enough to consider someone else's way to see things MIGHT have some truth in it.. no longer set in the idea my feelings are the only truths out there, no longer frustrated because others might not share them... (and by this I am talking about friends/other people, NOT about addicts deep in their denial which Thank God I no longer try to understand or "psychoanalyze")

At work I am finding some struggle because now I am resting more and no longer taking Red Bulls or killing myself to get stuff done. But I am trying to breathe and stand my ground.

I will be spending my bday in Mexico city where I am from. Coffee with friends, lunch with mom, a spa and a concert. I am broke. But am happy. I know there will be delays and my mom's depression to deal with, and my empty house to see but I will keep my hope up. Hope for myself.

I am bringing my yoga mat with me. And my closeness to HP. Friends may cancel. My mom may be who she is (It really gets me sad when I see her wearing something really old/dirty/unflattering... if she makes an effort she can look so good but... not my call.). Cab drivers may whine. But I am OK. Alive and healthy. That's all. That's enough. I am enough. I want to welcome my 29th BDAY on Saturday with this attitude. And doing the Downward dog. And being good to me.

Thanks for all of what you have taught me these last 2 years !!

wicked

this is wonderful to hear TC. You are taking better care of yourself by not adding the stress of overwork and using those crazy red bulls to keep up. This will come back to you ten fold. You can now be quiet enough to hear the silence.
I am sorry if this sounds a little "out there" but, I hope you will hear the silence and it that silence you are perfect. Sigh......

TC, my daughter will say things to me, like "mom, you could look so much better if you dressed like you cared." and she is right. she told me i might not be depressed, but i dress like it. time to get out of that "i dont care" attitude.
Thank you for bringing this up. I will stop looking at it as criticism, but as her way to help me feel better. Yes.

Beth

Impurrfect

(((TC))) - thanks for the inspiring post! You DO sound so much better, and I'm so glad to see you taking care of YOU!

Oh, and early Happy Birthday!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

TakingCharge999

Hi wicked!

I am responding an email back and struggling with NOT apologizing for needing to SLEEP... and yes of course they are going to complain... they had a ROBOT before... thank you for the support!! new things are scary.

Beth, thanks for sharing that you have felt like you are being criticized.. perhaps my mom feels the same way when I mention that or take her shopping.. and it has always been about how I notice men staring at her when she gets out and puts some effort!! not that you dress up for them but hey its an ego boost...

Watching all those "makeover" realities and living in a city where people judge you A LOT for what you are wearing I have realized that yes it does matter....

I also feel more commited at work when I am dressed like a professional not just some gal with jeans and a badge...

I hope you start getting motivated to dress better and if you need advice, I know there are many that can offer suggestions about fashion, flattering colors, etc !!! Basic rule #1 brunettes look good with light colors and white skin looks great with darker tones.... contrast.. CONTRAST!! I am a brunette and ALWAYS wore black/ dark brown... I felt invisible and didn't want any attention... now I discover there are colors out there... lol !

TakingCharge999

Thanks Impurrfect!! hope you also have a good weekend!! or at least find some minutes to relax... BREATHE ..

Learn2Live

(((hugs))) TC. I am excited for you. 29 was a HUGE turning point in my life. It was the age at which my eyes began to open...To myself and to a great big new world.

TakingCharge999

Thanks L2L! yes it has been happening to me... I think the 30s will be much better than the 20s... at least I like myself more!! HUGE improvement!! now on to buy cat's food and sand and make my bags and rush to the bus !! all in an hour and a half!! sheesh!! sending good vibes to the SR great friends I have known !!

TakingCharge999

I bought my tickets to see Yanni on Sunday!! so excited about that !!