doggonecarl

Tell me that this is what being “recovered” is supposed to feel like. Edging close to 5 months sober after 35 years of steady drinking. For the last couple of days I’ve had the sense that I’ve turned a corner. I feel different. I’m no longer fighting the urge to drink, and I’m not fighting my recovery either. I’ve said that I accept that I can never drink again, but saying it and believing it, really believing it, are two different things. I'm fine about never drinking again. I’m living sober and it finally feels right. Normal. The way I felt before the drugging and drinking.

Or is this the mindset that leads to relapse? Becoming first comfortable, then lax in my recovery, and finally vulnerable to alcohol. Is this feeling of normalcy a trap that will lead me to believe that I am “normal” and therefore can drink normally?

suki44883

I believe it's called complacency. Are you working a program of recovery? If not, you might think about it. It is very common to forget the damage alcohol caused. Never take your recovery for granted. There are some who had many years of sobriety but then relapsed because they thought they had it licked. Recovery is a life-long process. Hang in there. This is where you need your support most.

artsoul

Well, it sounds like a positive thing to me. After several months of sobriety I started feeling exactly the same way: sober became "normal" instead of drinking. The obsessive thinking took a back seat and I felt a new freedom to get on with my life.

I still come here everyday, though, because I don't want to lose the appreciation for what I have. I also just enjoy being here and sharing with others.

It's always good to have a little fear of relapse in the back of our minds, but you gotta enjoy life, too!

Dee74

Being comfortable in your sobriety, and being complacent about it, are two different things to me C.

Thus far, you don't seem the type to take anything for granted to me.
Congratulations on the upcoming 5 months, man

D

coffeenut

It feels good to finally get a grip on it, doesn't it?! Good for you and your sober time!

Like others have said....a good healthy dose of respect for relapse doesn't hurt, either.

Toronto68

Doggone, I think it's possible for complacency to set in and then the brain does all that negotiating and conniving you described. If you start to get close to thinking "It'll be OK this time, I wasn't so bad after all," then that is the thing to avoid. But I wouldn't want you to deprive yourself of enjoying the comfort setting in, by the same token. In other words, don't assume that contentment is always complacency. We didn't stop drinking with the intent of being miserable and judging every last move we make.

MsCooterBrown

Carl...

I feel the same way. I think it is not only accepting the fact you can no longer drink..after time it becomes a lifestyle..you know..I will go out on my limb and say that I do believe age may be a factor of acceptance. I know we do have younger people that are really doing well in recovery ..I am just speaking for myself. I am not so sure I would be in the mind frame I am in if I were trying to get sober when I was younger. I think that is because it is the thing to do..everyone went out every weekend. AND when you are young..you haven't given it enough time (going to bars or clubs) to be sick of it yet. When you stay drunk for 3 decades..chances are you will be sick of it by then. Anyway..lots of people struggle. I am taking my happy and running with it.

MsCooterBrown

I have to add...now that I say that...everyone where I live still goes out all the time- I am having a helluva time finding sober people here!! So maybe that shot my theory all to hell. I know I got sick of it..not sure why they haven't..but I don't care. All I know is I am d@mn happy to be one of the rats to drop out of the rat race.

LexieCat

Doesn't sound like complacency to me. Of course, you could GET complacent and relapse, but I think what you are feeling is recovery--what everyone wants. The people I know with happy, long-term recovery are not walking around on eggshells afraid relapse is right around the corner. As artsoul put it, a little healthy respect for the cunningness of the disease doesn't hurt, but I have found I'm feeling more "normal" all the time.

CarolD

Congratulations on your early recovery....

Relapse is not part of recovery
it's part of the disease.

I did return to drinkingafter I decided to quit
By starting my AA steps I went from
shakey sobriety into solid recovery...

I will not drink again...I'm a different person.

ReadyAndAble

It occurs to me that if you're worried you might be complacent, you're almost assuredly not.

Let's call it the doggonecarl paradox...

Snarf

Personally, I choose not to burden myself with the whole "never drinking again" thing. First of all, I'm not a psychic, so how do I know I won't ever drink again? I could drink tomorrow (I'm about 99.99999% sure that won't happen, but I can't predict the future), I could drink next month, I could drink 25 years from now at my unborn daughter's wedding. I just don't know, so I'm not gonna focus on all that.

Secondly, "never" is a pretty heavy word. It's tied to "forever," and that's a lot to wrap my mind around. I don't need to get myself involved in trying to think about such things. Thinking about not drinking at some distant date isn't going to help me not drink today. And that's all I can worry about, today. As long as when my head hits the pillow tonight no alcohol has touched my lips today, I'm doing all right. And tomorrow I'll try to do the same.

Just for today. One day at a time. Easy goes it. I like those sayings. But I don't like "never" or "forever." It's some serious stuff I can't control today, so I don't worry about it.

doggonecarl

Thanks everyone for giving me your insight on this matter. Could I have found (dare I say it...) the serenity we strive so hard to attain? Is this the reward for working so hard at my recovery? I hope so. And if so, I am ever so grateful that the new life I'm working towards is starting to emerge.

I will be cautious about complacency, suki, and keep the gift of recovery foremost in my mind. I have some challenges ahead, I'm sure, as life can throw some punches. I called this thread "Uncharted Waters" and they are. But in some respects it's been smooth sailing. How I come out of the storm--that's where I'll know where I am in my recovery.

But for today, I'm blessed to be sober.

least

Feeling comfortable in your recovery/sobriety is good, feeling lax, not so much. I haven't felt lax for quite a while as I work on my sobriety every day. I give myself a pep talk and remind myself of all the great things about staying sober and all the awful things that could/would happen if I drink again. And so far, with more than a year, I'm doing great and rarely have thoughts of drinking.

The price of liberty is eternal vigilance... or something like that. Keep an eye on yourself.

SSIL75

That's sort of where I am, too. I don't feel like I'm complacent at all. I mean I post/read here every day. I'm very aware of where I am. But drinking is very very far away from me. Like a lot of things would have to happen for me to drink. Not like in the early days where it was just a decision away.

LaFemme

Hey Carl! Congrats on 5 months!

As a sailor I will mention that just because the waters are uncharted does not mean they wont be smooth

I'm a month ahead of you and I know I have allowed myself to worry that this is too easy...it feels too normal and right ...I was told not to worry...as long as the serenity does not lead to cocmplacency we are good. Checking in here is part of it...but enjoying life is why we got sober...although I for one did not know it at the time...lol!

Enjoy!

LaFemme

Lenina

(((doggonecarl)))

I am so happy for you! I feel the same way. I have just over 3 years sobriety now. I do start every day reminding myself that I am an alcoholic in recovery and that today I don't drink. I think it helps me stay anchored in sobriety. As things get better, it's easy to doubt just how seriously bad the drinking was. I don't want to go there ever again!

I feel good today. I have peace in my life. I don't let myself generate or get caught up in drama. Life is good!

Love,

Lenina

newby1961

Happy happy 5 months :day1 Its okay to have a good day around here hell if we didn't have some good days most of us probably wouldn't have stuck around. My sponsor told me in early recovery some of us go through the pink cloud stage and she said as long as we keep our pink parachute near its all good lol. Keep the Faith
:day6

Mark75

Yes

least

My sponsor told me in early recovery some of us go through the pink cloud stage and she said as long as we keep our pink parachute near its all good lol


Love it!! Even after nearly 14 months I'm still floating on that pink cloud. I'm not worried as I do have my pink parachute handy.