Finally, No More Defending Myself
Trish48
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Hamden, Ct
Posts: 11
Finally, No More Defending Myself
This is a great forum.
It is much better for me to be able use this forum for help and support w/out being told that I will fail if I don't give everything up to God and follow AA's 1 steps and attend AA meetings.
I am glad that those things work for other people, but they do not work for me at all, actually does me more harm than good.
This place is going to be very helpful for me and I want to thank everyone for posting.
It is much better for me to be able use this forum for help and support w/out being told that I will fail if I don't give everything up to God and follow AA's 1 steps and attend AA meetings.
I am glad that those things work for other people, but they do not work for me at all, actually does me more harm than good.
This place is going to be very helpful for me and I want to thank everyone for posting.
Ethanol Intolerant
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Cascadia
Posts: 665
Welcome Trish, I really have not had a problem with relinquishing my will. There are things I cannot change or orchestrate, and to try to exert my will to do so damages myself and those around me. I can approach this experiential truth with equanimity, even serenity at times.
Where I struggle, and I know I shouldn’t, is with theists who posit god as an entity, and cannot help but want me to agree with them. I am glad their god looks out for them and smoothes out the universe for their personal benefit, I really am. For myself, I am at peace with a universe that does not have an orchestrating ego. Whether god is manifest or unmanifest the universe seems to run just fine. My resolve is not to struggle against this moment. This moment is exactly as it should be, because the universe is exactly as it should be. To struggle against this moment, is to struggle against the entire universe.
(Whoa...good coffee this morning)
Where I struggle, and I know I shouldn’t, is with theists who posit god as an entity, and cannot help but want me to agree with them. I am glad their god looks out for them and smoothes out the universe for their personal benefit, I really am. For myself, I am at peace with a universe that does not have an orchestrating ego. Whether god is manifest or unmanifest the universe seems to run just fine. My resolve is not to struggle against this moment. This moment is exactly as it should be, because the universe is exactly as it should be. To struggle against this moment, is to struggle against the entire universe.
(Whoa...good coffee this morning)
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 91
Originally Posted by Trish48 
This is a great forum.
It is much better for me to be able use this forum for help and support w/out being told that I will fail if I don't give everything up to God and follow AA's 1 steps and attend AA meetings.
I am glad that those things work for other people, but they do not work for me at all, actually does me more harm than good.
This place is going to be very helpful for me and I want to thank everyone for posting.
It is much better for me to be able use this forum for help and support w/out being told that I will fail if I don't give everything up to God and follow AA's 1 steps and attend AA meetings.
I am glad that those things work for other people, but they do not work for me at all, actually does me more harm than good.
This place is going to be very helpful for me and I want to thank everyone for posting.
I can't tell you how many meetings sounded like a lecture about how you can't get sober unless you find God. It worked me up and made me so angry. I made the decision to drink so I can make the decision not to. I am powerless over the weather, the traffic, other people's actions and many other things, but I am not powerless over driving to the liquor store, buying liquor and putting it in my body.
I too am glad that it works for others but that is why there is chocolate and vanilla.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Originally Posted by jerseytomato
I can totally relate Trish. I was waiting for "God" to remove my desire to drink and it wasn't happening. I would go to AA and get blasted for not attending enough meetings, not being spiritual enough etc. That just fed into my low self-esteem and made me want a drink to ease the uncomfortable feelings.
I can't tell you how many meetings sounded like a lecture about how you can't get sober unless you find God. It worked me up and made me so angry. I made the decision to drink so I can make the decision not to. I am powerless over the weather, the traffic, other people's actions and many other things, but I am not powerless over driving to the liquor store, buying liquor and putting it in my body.
I too am glad that it works for others but that is why there is chocolate and vanilla.
I can't tell you how many meetings sounded like a lecture about how you can't get sober unless you find God. It worked me up and made me so angry. I made the decision to drink so I can make the decision not to. I am powerless over the weather, the traffic, other people's actions and many other things, but I am not powerless over driving to the liquor store, buying liquor and putting it in my body.
I too am glad that it works for others but that is why there is chocolate and vanilla.
I actually think that my drinking patterns changed and became destructive after I started attending AA. And my self-esteem went in the toilet. This is a great group of open-minded folks who support whatever works for supporting sobriety and a new way of life without booze.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: kokomo
Posts: 73
I am powerless over the weather, the traffic, other people's actions and many other things, but I am not powerless over driving to the liquor store, buying liquor and putting it in my body.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 165
Originally Posted by IndyOG
After I started recovery I found I did have the power to not go to the liqueur store and the desire to drink slowly faded. How that happened I don't know?
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