cmv1

Hi everyone , im new to this website and ive been reading different posts all day. It took alot of courage for me to join and admit as of today that I have a problem with alcohol. Im 36, married and 3 kids. Newly married we just celebrated our 1st anniversary, Dec 31,2010. Drinking has been a usual thing in our relationship, but lately I can not control it. I want to drink more and more and I get to the point at certain times were I dont remember anything the next morning. My husband is fed up and im trying to make this work. I will admit I couldnt say to him that I had a problem but after I really look at myself and how much Ive been drinking (alone most of the time) and lie to him that I was, I have a problem! I need help, I take good care of myself , workout everyday, eat well but I have an alcohol want, and its usually a couple shots in the evening and im happy. We dont have a normal marriage life, he works nights gets home at 12 and thats my whole week with him. I feel alone at times and he doesnt seem to understand this feeling. He drinks and can control it, he has asked me to stop and I am trying, but I slipped the other night and lied to him. I feel terrible and i need to save my marriage!! please help any advise would be appreciated!!

LexieCat

Hi there,

It isn't unusual for our significant others to argue with us when we talk about our problems with alcohol. After all, as you noted, we DO try to hide it. And I think the idea of their partner being a problem drinker (or, GASP, AN ALCOHOLIC!) can feel a little overwhelming. Not to mention, if drinking has been part of your relationship, it kinda throws things out of whack, from their perspective.

Nevertheless, if you don't deal with this problem that YOU know you have, it will impact badly on your marriage, sooner or later.

Have you tried quitting drinking on your own? Some people can do that. You might want to start out by trying that, together with posting here for support. If you find you are unable to quit drinking on your own, AA is a wonderful way to get sober--that's what I do.

Stick around, you will find a lot of support here.

nandm

Welcome to SR!

The only thing I can share with you is my personal experience. That is I could not quit drinking for any real length of time until I decided to quit for me not for anyone else. I went dry, or not drinking, for lengths of time to fix one relationship or another, or because I had gotten in a spot of trouble due to my drinking, or whatever reason I came up with at the time. I even went without a drink for a year on my own. I do know others who have been able to initially quit for those reasons and somehow find themselves in the process and decide to stay sober for themselves.

Personally, it took an organized program such as Alcoholics Anonymous for me to stop drinking entirely. There are many such programs available. This is a listing of many of them http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I do wish you the best and hope you find something here that provides you with courage, support, strength, and hope when you are needing it most. Take care.

CarolD

Congratulations on chooseing a sober future...Welcome...

Blessings to you and your family

Hevyn

cmv1 - Good advice here already, so I'll just say congratulations for seeing you have a problem & reaching out for help. I never did at your age, and paid dearly for it. You can get healthy and have a beautiful life without getting numb.

Keep talking to us. Reading & sharing here got me off booze after a lifetime of falling back on it for every occasion. There are some wonderful people here who truly care. Glad to have you among us.

lockcap

Hi,
I was( am ) just like you, but I drink wine.....I joined this site 3 days ago and check in everyday. So far so good.....Went out with friends, Saturday night and didnt have a drop of alcohol. At first, it felt very strange not to have a drink and I was craving a large glass of Pinot Grigio, but I hung in there with seltzer/cranberry and lime twist....then I just tried to keep myself in conversation and my " seltzer cocktail" full. The craving slowly seemed to subside. And Sunday morning- it felt wonderful to wake up and not be hung over. I felt great that I "won" the battle Saturday night. Yesterday, was fine, no cravings at all...My cravings usually start around 3:30PM and then into the night......Will see how today goes.
Good Luck. You can do this...there is so much support here. I am so glad I found this site

Anna

Welcome!

I'm glad you're seeking support. When I stopped drinking, I had to do it for myself.

I wonder if you've talked to your husband about the loneliness you feel when he works nights. Is it possible to compromise in any way with that situation?

least

Welcome to SR. Asking for help is a big first step towards staying sober. I used to drink (wine) to medicate depression and anxiety but it only made it worse. I've been sober over a year now and my life is getting better every day - so can yours.

newby1961

Welcome to SR when I was reading your post I started thinking how normal it is for women to become closet drinkers and then I thought of my mom. My mom took care of us 5 kids all day but in the evening she would retire to her bdrm and drink wine till she passed out. She was sober 28 years when she passed away on 6/6/2009. She also was very lonely as my dad traveled for work, and then being stressed w/5 kids. I to am an alcoholic but I was much more loud about being one as I was a bar drinker. lol I have seen so many women just like us get sober and I have been sober almost 7 years now. Trust me if I can do it I know you can and I don't even know you. Hang in there and do try to check out AA those rooms are filled w/women just like us. Keep the Faith.