New and would be very grateful for some advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1
New and would be very grateful for some advice
I am a 30 woman with what I now know to be a problem. I like a drink - I mean I really like a drink. Ive managed to get it down to a thurs and a fri and by the sat Im so ill I really dont want a drink.
But through the week I try and think of all sorts of reasons to have a drink, and if I didnt think my husband would bat an eyelid - I would. But Im concious of it so I rarely do.
However, on a Thurs (well, its officially the start of the weekend isnt it?!?) Im wishing the day away so I can have my first glass. sometimes I only have 2 or 3 glasses but sometimes, like last night, I drink a whole bottle then go on to anything else in the cupboards. Namely vodka. I cause massive arguements with my husband and I can barely remember what happened the next day. The guilt also hits the next day - unbearable guilt and massive apologies. Only for me to do the same the next month (It scares me off for a while).
SO now Im scared Im an alcoholic. Whats everyones thoughts?
I should also mention Im on 20mg escitalopram for post natal depression when I had my son 4 months ago. For some reason, cause Ive been on these meds before, they seem to make the craving stronger, anyone else heard of this?
Appreciate any thoughts or comments. Ruining my life. The guilt is in today.
But through the week I try and think of all sorts of reasons to have a drink, and if I didnt think my husband would bat an eyelid - I would. But Im concious of it so I rarely do.
However, on a Thurs (well, its officially the start of the weekend isnt it?!?) Im wishing the day away so I can have my first glass. sometimes I only have 2 or 3 glasses but sometimes, like last night, I drink a whole bottle then go on to anything else in the cupboards. Namely vodka. I cause massive arguements with my husband and I can barely remember what happened the next day. The guilt also hits the next day - unbearable guilt and massive apologies. Only for me to do the same the next month (It scares me off for a while).
SO now Im scared Im an alcoholic. Whats everyones thoughts?
I should also mention Im on 20mg escitalopram for post natal depression when I had my son 4 months ago. For some reason, cause Ive been on these meds before, they seem to make the craving stronger, anyone else heard of this?
Appreciate any thoughts or comments. Ruining my life. The guilt is in today.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Your pattern with your husband sounds a lot like mine used to be before I got sober (causing massive arguments, blacking out, feeling guilty, repeat cycle.)
I don't think what you call yourself matters (i.e., "alcoholic" or not) -- you're clearly stuck in a destructive cycle that has a lot to do with your drinking. The fact that you recognize that is good. The next question is whether you're ready to do something about it.
I don't think what you call yourself matters (i.e., "alcoholic" or not) -- you're clearly stuck in a destructive cycle that has a lot to do with your drinking. The fact that you recognize that is good. The next question is whether you're ready to do something about it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome.....
Obviously your drinking is causing harm ...please read this
Your blacking out and obcessing over alcohol...those are big red flags.
Hope you will consider quitting....isober is such a good way to live.
Obviously your drinking is causing harm ...please read this
CDC+Moderation
According to the CDC....
Moderate drinking is no more than 2 drinks a day for men..1 for women
They consider a drink to be
12 oz. of beer..5 oz. of wine...1 1/2 oz liquor.
Your body and mind processes all 3 toxins equally
so drinking only wine or only liquor or only beer
or mixing them is of no importance.
They all do the same damage...that's true for all drinkers...not only alcoholics.
According to the CDC....
Moderate drinking is no more than 2 drinks a day for men..1 for women
They consider a drink to be
12 oz. of beer..5 oz. of wine...1 1/2 oz liquor.
Your body and mind processes all 3 toxins equally
so drinking only wine or only liquor or only beer
or mixing them is of no importance.
They all do the same damage...that's true for all drinkers...not only alcoholics.
Hope you will consider quitting....isober is such a good way to live.
Last edited by CarolD; 01-22-2011 at 09:00 AM.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Hi Lilme -- I don't know about your question about the medication, but I do relate to what you say about binging (and going after everything in the cupboards) when I tried to limit my drinking to two or three nights a week.
My advice to you would be to try (for now) not to focus on the label of "alcoholic." For now, think about what alcohol is doing in your life and whether or not you want it there. It sounds like moderation isn't working, so trying abstinence/sobriety seems like it might be the best idea. It was for me.
Glad you're here!
My advice to you would be to try (for now) not to focus on the label of "alcoholic." For now, think about what alcohol is doing in your life and whether or not you want it there. It sounds like moderation isn't working, so trying abstinence/sobriety seems like it might be the best idea. It was for me.
Glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 9
Hi and welcome
Hey there - I struggled a lot at first with the idea of labeling myself an alcoholic because I was able to keep it mostly together, i.e. I wasn't living on the streets. The big book of AA says that only you can decide if you are an alcoholic, but one of the chapters, called more about alcoholism, describes what an alcoholic is. A couple of the tell tale signs are making plans not to drink and then drinking anyway (obsession) and not being able to stop once you do take that first drink (craving). Sounds like you have experienced both of these to some extent, and if you are an alcoholic they will only get worse. Go to an AA meeting and talk to some people about your experience with alcohol. You don't have to go back if you don't want to.
The other thing I'd say is that, in my experience, normal drinkers don't usually wonder if they are alcoholics. So the fact that you are asking the question is, perhaps, in and of itself a sign that you are wanting to make a change. Best of luck, and take care.
The other thing I'd say is that, in my experience, normal drinkers don't usually wonder if they are alcoholics. So the fact that you are asking the question is, perhaps, in and of itself a sign that you are wanting to make a change. Best of luck, and take care.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome lilme - Glad you're thinking about what drinking does to your life - it takes a bit of courage to ask for help. The thing about alcoholism is that looks a little different on everyone. Some people binge while others (like myself) rarely got "drunk-drunk" but drank at unhealthy levels many nights of the week.
I see it as a drive almost, to want another and another and another. Observing my circle of friends I've come to discover that most people don't have that problem when they drink, if they're social drinkers.
I'm just glad you're here. Binge drinking can be so dangerous and it sounds like you really want to change. The good news is that, with support, you CAN! We're here to help, so keep posting and reading.
I see it as a drive almost, to want another and another and another. Observing my circle of friends I've come to discover that most people don't have that problem when they drink, if they're social drinkers.
I'm just glad you're here. Binge drinking can be so dangerous and it sounds like you really want to change. The good news is that, with support, you CAN! We're here to help, so keep posting and reading.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,474
Welcome!
Clearly drinking is causing you problems in your life, so it really doesn't matter what label you use. I hope you decide to live a sober life, and yes, we do understand how really scary it is. But, you can do it!
Clearly drinking is causing you problems in your life, so it really doesn't matter what label you use. I hope you decide to live a sober life, and yes, we do understand how really scary it is. But, you can do it!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome to our recovery family.
No matter what you call yourself, your drinking is obviously a problem so it's best if you give it up altogether. No matter what support system you use, if any, what matters is that you give it your best effort. It's hard at first, fighting off cravings and the emotional ups and downs after getting past the physical withdrawal, but it will get better. I'm sober a bit over a year now and my life is better than ever.
Glad you found us and joined the family.
No matter what you call yourself, your drinking is obviously a problem so it's best if you give it up altogether. No matter what support system you use, if any, what matters is that you give it your best effort. It's hard at first, fighting off cravings and the emotional ups and downs after getting past the physical withdrawal, but it will get better. I'm sober a bit over a year now and my life is better than ever. Glad you found us and joined the family.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi lilme
I agree - forget about the label for now - your drinking is obviously causing you problems, and maybe it's best just to focus on that.
I hope you consider quitting too - you'll find a lot of support and a few ideas here
welcome!
D
I agree - forget about the label for now - your drinking is obviously causing you problems, and maybe it's best just to focus on that.
I hope you consider quitting too - you'll find a lot of support and a few ideas here
welcome!
D
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,899
I'm with the rest...if its a problem make a plan to deal with it.
Have a look around the forums and see what others are doing. Continue to post and reply to others in the same boat as you. Build a support system and carry on with your positive life changes.
Have a look around the forums and see what others are doing. Continue to post and reply to others in the same boat as you. Build a support system and carry on with your positive life changes.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 85
I understand what you are going through. I started back up drinking after my daughter was born this summer. This triggered major postnatal depression. I was literally freaking out, I couldn't take care of her when I was hungover, the alcohol consumption made my moods/hormones even crazier, and it made trying to raise my daughter so difficult.
Because of this, I decided to quit drinking when she was 3 months old. That was 4 months ago! Things are just good now. Things are easier. I joined this site because of her. I thought that I quit drinking because of her, but more and more now I realize that she just gave me one more reason to quit drinking for myself, too. It is like a gift she is giving me, this sobriety.
You can find alot of support here. I also go to a AA woman's group in my town and I love it. I didn't know what AA was all about, I didn't realize how much it would help.
It is so so hard to be a new mother. Let me tell you: the drinking only makes it harder. Please try to take it one day at a time. Just try not to drink today.
Because of this, I decided to quit drinking when she was 3 months old. That was 4 months ago! Things are just good now. Things are easier. I joined this site because of her. I thought that I quit drinking because of her, but more and more now I realize that she just gave me one more reason to quit drinking for myself, too. It is like a gift she is giving me, this sobriety.
You can find alot of support here. I also go to a AA woman's group in my town and I love it. I didn't know what AA was all about, I didn't realize how much it would help.
It is so so hard to be a new mother. Let me tell you: the drinking only makes it harder. Please try to take it one day at a time. Just try not to drink today.
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