Manz

Iam new to recovery..I was new...I had almost 6 days...the longest in a long long time....
It has been incredibly hard, and this time I really wanted to do it..I really needed to do it, as I said in my last post. I scared my self.

Tonight my only real friend here(here being the country where I was born, that I moved back to after leaving 10yrs ago) told me that her husband doesn't want me to be in touch because I make her too stressed. I had only made one real friend since coming back here and now I'm really alone.

I was married when I came back..I'm not now. I don't know how to do this anymore. I dont have the strength anymore.
I have really tried...and I'm sure I will try really hard again...but tonight it all seems hopeless.

Sorry guys...I just needed to vent, I have no where else to go tonight.

VeeTee

Hi Manz, sorry to hear you're feeling so low.
please remember that drinking won't make anything better - it will only make things worse and sadder.
I don't know if you have tried or are interested in AA - it helps me alot.

And why not ask your friend if she wants to continue to be your friend, none of her husband's business in my opinion.

Hope you feel happier soon - not drinking will help!!
vee

Manz

Thanks Vee
I did drink tonight, but have been able to stop..I really did scare my self last time!
I still feel hopeless, and helpless. But I'm sure I'll be back ontrack with the help of people here.
I went to the 2nd half of a meeting tonight because I had been working.
I got told to try going to bar and try controlled drinking if I thought I wasn't an alcoholic.
Hmmmmmmm
I know I want a drink and want to get in the car right now to get more...but I KNOW....now that it will only turn out messy if I do that.

Thanks again

24hrsAday

Manz.. we all do it Just ODAAT.. One day at a time!

Toronto68

Manz, it sounds like it's a simple formula strung together to say this, but maybe you will build something stronger as you incorporate meetings into your life, ie, maybe you will build your spiritual or emotional energy and find yourself making friends either in the groups or outside them. I can remember moving from country to country a few times, and when I look back I see myself transplanting the drinking and almost like it was a way of setting up something certain in the face of uncertainty. Fear, fear, fear. Not sure which day you are on, but keep signing in here if that helps you.

Dee74

Hi Manz

I'm sorry about your friend.

The good thing tho is, although I've never been there yet, I know a fair few kiwis so I know NZ is a really friendly country

I'm sure you'll make new friends pretty quickly, especially if you're planning to be part of something like AA.

You have all of us here too

D

Untoxicated

Perhaps not right now, but there is strength in numbers. Keep tapping into the strength of others that have gone through what you are going through.

Once I realized I couldn't do it alone and accepted help, the burden became lighter and lighter.

Hand us your concerns and pick a direction (I suggest we head toward the light but the choice is yours).

least

Remember that there's nothing so bad that drinking can't make it worse.