Newly Registered - Day 82 Sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Hershey, Pa.
Posts: 11
Newly Registered - Day 82 Sober
I have tons of questions but will hold off so that I don't overwhelm all of you as well as myself. I completed a 30 day treatment program outside of State College, Pa. for a severe Prescription Pain Medication addiction of about 15 years due to a severe Arthritic condition called Ankylosing Spondylitis as well as Degenerative Disc Disease. I also had a cervical fusion in 1995 in which I was surgically fused between C-2 and C-6 both front and back of my neck. Needless to say years and years of willful abuse of medication also contributed to mixing my meds with alcohol, especially Scotch. I graduated from rehab on November 23rd. What a great day. One of my questions would be did anyone else find themselves being homesick for rehab? As each day passes I miss it so much. Since my wife has great insurance it paid for a stay that cost around $24,000 so it was a very nice place to be at. When I first got there I wanted out so badly now I wish in a way I were back.
My other question is I have had a tendency to isolate myself especially now that I'm retired on disability. When I first got out I went to Mass, meetings and now in the last two weeks I have returned to my old isolation ways. I haven't used or had a drink and really have no desire despite the physical pain. I read somewhere that I could be described as a "dry drunk" which I know isn't good. I've also kept my moods positive around my family as I refuse to be like I was before, so judgmental and angry although not towards my family. Any help, advice would be appreciated. Thanks and God bless.
My other question is I have had a tendency to isolate myself especially now that I'm retired on disability. When I first got out I went to Mass, meetings and now in the last two weeks I have returned to my old isolation ways. I haven't used or had a drink and really have no desire despite the physical pain. I read somewhere that I could be described as a "dry drunk" which I know isn't good. I've also kept my moods positive around my family as I refuse to be like I was before, so judgmental and angry although not towards my family. Any help, advice would be appreciated. Thanks and God bless.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Welcome to SR Charlie. My experience with Isolation is that its a killer, its part of my disease and leads me to dark places, self pity, anger, resentment and back into the cycle of addiction.
Keep posting here and get some peer support like AA NA ore SMART
Keep posting here and get some peer support like AA NA ore SMART
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 157
Welcome and Congradulations!! To try and address your questions, I never went to rehab so I can't help with that one. Regarding isolation - I tend to do that myself some, but I make a point of attending 2-3 meetings a week. They help me stay grounded, "in" the program, and I love talking with recovering alcoholics. 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi Charley and welcome to sr!
Never been to rehab but when I was drinking the idea of it was really appealing...a nice safe place away from alcohol and away from the world....I can see the appeal/danger.
Isolation is bad, at the very least hang out here
Your pain management. My mother has RA a very severe form...she isolates and abuses as well...so I know a little where you are coming frm. For the pain have you tried accupuncture???
LaFemme
Never been to rehab but when I was drinking the idea of it was really appealing...a nice safe place away from alcohol and away from the world....I can see the appeal/danger.
Isolation is bad, at the very least hang out here
Your pain management. My mother has RA a very severe form...she isolates and abuses as well...so I know a little where you are coming frm. For the pain have you tried accupuncture???
LaFemme
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 279
Welcome! Congrats on 82 days that is fantastic. I have never been to rehab. I do tend to isolate though. I really try to make a point to force myself to socialize. Once a week coffee with a friend. Also, I am going to start volunteering, to give me a place I feel obligated to go to besides work. Plus it will allow me to help others and meet new people.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Hi and Welcome,
It's always good to get out and connect with people. Getting outside of myself usually helps me to feel more positive about myself and my life.
I hope you keep reading and posting.
It's always good to get out and connect with people. Getting outside of myself usually helps me to feel more positive about myself and my life.
I hope you keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Hi Charley! I have never been to rehab but I have a dear friend who did..he went to a rehab in Estes Park Co..did 28 days. When he first got out (this is a good 10 yrs ago) he felt out of place. But in time he did what he used to do but instead of doing it drunk..he did it sober. It took awhile for him to adjust. He has been sober ever since. Matter of fact..he is great support for my sobriety now. I hope in time you feel safe and more like venturing out to socialize a bit. SR has been a great source of support and information. Glad you found us Charley!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Hershey, Pa.
Posts: 11
Hey thanks a lot of everyone that responded. It's much appreciated. I was fortunate to be up there just as the foliage was peaking. I was on a beautiful mountain top and the leaves were a golden yellow, orange and red. You can't beat that. I got out two days before thanksgiving when my kids came home and all of our family gathered around, mainly for me. My wife and I have been married 30 years and I think of what I put her through with my using and occasional drinking. The meds always ramped and hyped me up and I hadn't been myself for a long time. I was always angry, mostly at myself and the smallest of things would enrage me. I never raised my voice at my wife or kids, I just disconnected them from my life. Who wants to live with a nitwit I came to realize.
I have gone to a few NA meetings but I feel more comfortable at our local AA meetings simply because the people attending are mostly near my age. I have bonded well with them. The last two weeks I have kind of reverted back to that emotional detachment like I had in the past. This is why I registered here. I have all kinds of questions. My entire life I have been a loner I think because I am an only child who parents were divorced, Dad out of my whole life until a decade ago and Mother was working so when I arrived home from school, I was alone. But these last few weeks its like some type of mist has engulfed me causing me to revert back to that isolation that possessed me in the past.
It really can be summed up as though I feel zombie like or in a catatonic state when it comes time to go to a meeting and I bring out those old excuses I used in the past that I am to stiff or sore or in great distress and pain. Of course I am but now I know I have to get to these meetings or risk failing. I have been tempted by alcohol but haven't come close to drinking. I can't any longer access pain medication so that is not a problem right now. FWIW, God bless all of you for responding to me. I can see this forum will be a tremendous help to me. Addicts/Alcoholics say using or drinking will put the whammy on your mind, well so will pain. God bless all of you and thanks again for caring.
I have gone to a few NA meetings but I feel more comfortable at our local AA meetings simply because the people attending are mostly near my age. I have bonded well with them. The last two weeks I have kind of reverted back to that emotional detachment like I had in the past. This is why I registered here. I have all kinds of questions. My entire life I have been a loner I think because I am an only child who parents were divorced, Dad out of my whole life until a decade ago and Mother was working so when I arrived home from school, I was alone. But these last few weeks its like some type of mist has engulfed me causing me to revert back to that isolation that possessed me in the past.
It really can be summed up as though I feel zombie like or in a catatonic state when it comes time to go to a meeting and I bring out those old excuses I used in the past that I am to stiff or sore or in great distress and pain. Of course I am but now I know I have to get to these meetings or risk failing. I have been tempted by alcohol but haven't come close to drinking. I can't any longer access pain medication so that is not a problem right now. FWIW, God bless all of you for responding to me. I can see this forum will be a tremendous help to me. Addicts/Alcoholics say using or drinking will put the whammy on your mind, well so will pain. God bless all of you and thanks again for caring.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Charley - I can relate to your post about coming out of rehab. It was/is another world: not having to cook, deal with family, laundry, the phone ringing, etc..... And everyone is together for the same reason. I missed it when I got out, too - it was scary to leave, in fact.
I did attend some aftercare sessions, though, so I still got to see the people I'd been with for 30 days. That made it a little easier.
I tend to isolate for a variety of reasons (although I have two children still living with me). I joined a community chorus which I love, but every week I have to force myself to go to rehearsals. Of course, once I'm there, I'm always glad I went. Is there anything you enjoy doing outside of meetings? What about taking a class in something? Or doing a bit of traveling with your wife, even if it's just to ride around through the countryside...... There's no reason you can't start with baby steps.
I enjoy my time here and I think you will too. Congratulations on 82 days!
I did attend some aftercare sessions, though, so I still got to see the people I'd been with for 30 days. That made it a little easier.
I tend to isolate for a variety of reasons (although I have two children still living with me). I joined a community chorus which I love, but every week I have to force myself to go to rehearsals. Of course, once I'm there, I'm always glad I went. Is there anything you enjoy doing outside of meetings? What about taking a class in something? Or doing a bit of traveling with your wife, even if it's just to ride around through the countryside...... There's no reason you can't start with baby steps.
I enjoy my time here and I think you will too. Congratulations on 82 days!
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