I don't have much support..
Abnormally normal
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 306
I don't have much support..
First off...
Thank you for reading this.
I'm so glad I found this forum. A place where I can share my stories, vent, ask for advice and know that Im not the only one in my kind of situation.
I don't have much support here. My fiance (ex) has given up on me because I've hurt him in ways that make me feel physical pain when I think about it.
I've hurt, disappointed, devestated, lied, betrayed and humiliated him.
I turned his life upside down. I've jeopordized his relationship w/ his family, my family, his career and his freedom.
He's seen me at my lowest...then even lower than that.
He's lost all trust and respect for me.
As far as my family...they all drink. (aunts, uncles, cousins..huge fam)
Some more than others.
Growing up, alcohol was always around. Kids' birthday parties turned into adult parties that ended at 2-3 am. (still do)
It was considered a funny story to reminisce about somebody doing something stupid or funnu while drunk.
The storyteller had all ears on them, accompanied by roaring laughter.
It was ok to start drinking in front of the family at 18.
And alcohol is taken everywhere!
The beach, zoo, amusement parks, city parks..everywhere!
So going to my family is not an option.
They'll just tell me to get over myself and only have a couple of drinks.
I tried asking my mom for help, several times.
But it always ends the same. She'll say she will but 2-3 days later..its like the conversation never happedned.
Going to her house is sometimes difficult. She's what you call a "functioning" alcoholic. Meaning she drinks her JD everyday but still functions w/ her daily life and routines.
I haven't found my way to an AA meeting yet. I don't know why it doesn't appeal to me.
I attended 2 meetings last yr, but that was on my way home from the liquor store at 9am on a Sat.
I'd park in the back, sit in my car, drink, cry and beg God to give me strength to stop. I walked in the meeting(drunk) cry and slip out. Those were the last and only times.
Thats why I'm SOOO happy I found this forum.
Its like a deep breath after a long time feeling of drowning.
My life has fallen to pieces and I just want to pick 'em up and move foward.
I've put my kids through so much and I've torn my family apart.
They were literally watching me drink myself to death. I'd post what they suffered to watch...but I've posted it already on another thread.
Once again..thank you for reading
And I'm looking foward to getting to know some soon to be web-friends.
Oh little piece of info:
Ive been sober since Nov. 4 2010! =)
One day at a time....
Thank you for reading this.
I'm so glad I found this forum. A place where I can share my stories, vent, ask for advice and know that Im not the only one in my kind of situation.
I don't have much support here. My fiance (ex) has given up on me because I've hurt him in ways that make me feel physical pain when I think about it.
I've hurt, disappointed, devestated, lied, betrayed and humiliated him.
I turned his life upside down. I've jeopordized his relationship w/ his family, my family, his career and his freedom.
He's seen me at my lowest...then even lower than that.
He's lost all trust and respect for me.
As far as my family...they all drink. (aunts, uncles, cousins..huge fam)
Some more than others.
Growing up, alcohol was always around. Kids' birthday parties turned into adult parties that ended at 2-3 am. (still do)
It was considered a funny story to reminisce about somebody doing something stupid or funnu while drunk.
The storyteller had all ears on them, accompanied by roaring laughter.
It was ok to start drinking in front of the family at 18.
And alcohol is taken everywhere!
The beach, zoo, amusement parks, city parks..everywhere!
So going to my family is not an option.
They'll just tell me to get over myself and only have a couple of drinks.
I tried asking my mom for help, several times.
But it always ends the same. She'll say she will but 2-3 days later..its like the conversation never happedned.
Going to her house is sometimes difficult. She's what you call a "functioning" alcoholic. Meaning she drinks her JD everyday but still functions w/ her daily life and routines.
I haven't found my way to an AA meeting yet. I don't know why it doesn't appeal to me.
I attended 2 meetings last yr, but that was on my way home from the liquor store at 9am on a Sat.
I'd park in the back, sit in my car, drink, cry and beg God to give me strength to stop. I walked in the meeting(drunk) cry and slip out. Those were the last and only times.
Thats why I'm SOOO happy I found this forum.
Its like a deep breath after a long time feeling of drowning.
My life has fallen to pieces and I just want to pick 'em up and move foward.
I've put my kids through so much and I've torn my family apart.
They were literally watching me drink myself to death. I'd post what they suffered to watch...but I've posted it already on another thread.
Once again..thank you for reading
And I'm looking foward to getting to know some soon to be web-friends.
Oh little piece of info:
Ive been sober since Nov. 4 2010! =)
One day at a time....
part time member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,910
Congratulations on your sober time! And through the holidays no less!
Welcome to SR. Lots of information and support here. Keep reading and posting. Really helped me since I have no support at home either. You are doing great! I am sure that others will be here soon.........
Welcome to SR. Lots of information and support here. Keep reading and posting. Really helped me since I have no support at home either. You are doing great! I am sure that others will be here soon.........
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR! You are, most definitely, not alone. This place has been a HUGE part of my recovery. It's nice knowing people who "get" you and there's usually always someone here, 24/7.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
Welcome aboard 
Over two months through the holidays is spectacularly awesome!!!!
You'll get tons of support here, and if you don't feel like posting read through past threads, or check out the "sticky" threads and links at the top of each forum.
My coming here several times a day, every single day, is a big reason for my being sober. See you around
Murray
Over two months through the holidays is spectacularly awesome!!!!
You'll get tons of support here, and if you don't feel like posting read through past threads, or check out the "sticky" threads and links at the top of each forum.
My coming here several times a day, every single day, is a big reason for my being sober. See you around
Murray
Abnormally normal
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 306
Thank you all for the open arms, no judgements here, welcomes!
I've just joined this morning and already
I know this is going to be a big part of helping myself stay sober.
You'll be hearing alot from me because I have so much
to share.
Thanks for hearing (reading) me out.
I've just joined this morning and already
I know this is going to be a big part of helping myself stay sober.
You'll be hearing alot from me because I have so much
to share.
Thanks for hearing (reading) me out.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hiya Fab!
Sounds like we might have the same family...lol
SR is my support system and I am working with a life coach on personal issues...so far this is working for me
Congrats on 2+ months over the holidays!
Sounds like we might have the same family...lol
SR is my support system and I am working with a life coach on personal issues...so far this is working for me
Congrats on 2+ months over the holidays!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 63
Congratulations on your sober time, that's awesome! I'm on day 11, and hoping that I can make it this time. Right now I'm just going through the motions every day, and desperately hoping this gets easier. I spend hours on this board, I love it here.
Your childhood sounds a lot like mine. My alcoholic parents got me completely wasted at 14 and I can still hear their laughter. I had never been so sick in my life and I never touched booze again until I turned 40. Don't ask why I started, I still can't really pinpoint what triggered it. ;O( Welcome to the forum, I look forward to reading more of your posts. ;O)
undercoverangel
Your childhood sounds a lot like mine. My alcoholic parents got me completely wasted at 14 and I can still hear their laughter. I had never been so sick in my life and I never touched booze again until I turned 40. Don't ask why I started, I still can't really pinpoint what triggered it. ;O( Welcome to the forum, I look forward to reading more of your posts. ;O)
undercoverangel
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Welcome to SR - SF and Undercover. I think sometimes our families are so dysfunctional that we need to step back and re-evaluate "normal."
One of the things that spurred me to become sober was my son who was 5 at the time. I've said this many times before, but when asked what to get for a birthday party he said "wine." 5 years old and wine was the main attraction to a birthday party and a child's birthday party nonetheless. Luckily, the mind is kind because he doesn't remember the Mommy that drank every night. He also knows you can have more fun without the alcohol then with it. He is now 8 years old and I pray everyday that he will only know parents that are sober and feeling every emotion that life throws at them. We aren't numbing out anymore and we are learning normal coping skills. He will learn these as well.
You don't get sober for others, but as your addiction deeply effected those around you, so will your sobriety deeply effect those around you. Living day by day and staying sober will be an example that people can and do change. Forgive yourself because we have all been there. You must forgive in order to heal.
God bless you both and congratulations on finding the best online support group around. I am sober today through the grace of God and the constant love and support SR has afforded me. Whenever I felt the urge to drink in the beginning I got on here and posted. The support was overwhelming and I thought if these people had this much love and faith in me then I couldn't let them down or myself.
Sending you lots of love and support because my cup runneth over because of this place and we give what we receive from here. I think that's why it works.
One of the things that spurred me to become sober was my son who was 5 at the time. I've said this many times before, but when asked what to get for a birthday party he said "wine." 5 years old and wine was the main attraction to a birthday party and a child's birthday party nonetheless. Luckily, the mind is kind because he doesn't remember the Mommy that drank every night. He also knows you can have more fun without the alcohol then with it. He is now 8 years old and I pray everyday that he will only know parents that are sober and feeling every emotion that life throws at them. We aren't numbing out anymore and we are learning normal coping skills. He will learn these as well.
You don't get sober for others, but as your addiction deeply effected those around you, so will your sobriety deeply effect those around you. Living day by day and staying sober will be an example that people can and do change. Forgive yourself because we have all been there. You must forgive in order to heal.
God bless you both and congratulations on finding the best online support group around. I am sober today through the grace of God and the constant love and support SR has afforded me. Whenever I felt the urge to drink in the beginning I got on here and posted. The support was overwhelming and I thought if these people had this much love and faith in me then I couldn't let them down or myself.
Sending you lots of love and support because my cup runneth over because of this place and we give what we receive from here. I think that's why it works.
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