iloveme

Today I saw the counselor because cleaning up the mess and making everything look "pretty" and feel " cozy" well was starting to rear it's horns and quite frankly I needed a little feedback and "human" I get it per say.....


While I managed to get thru my "intake" with out a tear she gets to the, So what brings you here question,


I follow with a simple anxiety, afterall after briefing her I would guess she might of excused her self to premedicate just to get thru the second half of our session anyway yadayaydyadayada.


Long story short, I tell her about this long mentel illness, dysfunctional, alcoholic, physically and sexually abusive childhood I SURVIVED and how I really didn't drink to mention other than hiding behind then alcoholic men I married and dated and then she land basted me............ You ready, Put you seat belt on!


she said,

If you come from an upbringing that is heavily laden with Alcoholism and Drug Addiction and you see that your whole child hood you either make one of two choices toward it into ADDICTION or away from it into CODEPENDENCY!



STILL DIGESTING!

escape artist

well at least codependence is curable.

Verbena

I don't really know what to say to that. After reading your post I guess I need to think. Have a big hug.:day6

kiki5711

wow, that's a big newsflash! didn't even think of that one...

and eating a lot of Twinkies will make you fat, in case you didn't know.

Learn2Live

Makes sense to me. But I for one refuse to allow my past to rule my present or my future. I for one am going to FIGHT the dysfunctional, alcoholic upbringing I survived until the day I ******* DIE. Thanks for sharing!

barb dwyer

huh.well, that's something to think about.
wonder what school she's following?

ToBeSerene

Wow - I'm now feeling pretty good about my start in counseling last week ...
OMG ... and you will get charged for that visit - go figure. Are you going back??
Hope you have a MUCH better day tomorrow!!

LaTeeDa

My therapist explained it like this:

Addiction and codependence are just two different branches of the same tree.

L

Phoenixthebird

iloveme...... "STILL DIGESTING!" ******


"I don't know why I keep trying!"

CSHNow

Truthfully I'd hate the thought of spilling my guts to anyone and then to be judged and left hanging. That's what that sounded like to me. Maybe this is the "NEW" way ! Maybe it is like shock treatment ????? Maybe the idea is to make you angry ???? Grrrrrrrrrr..... I think that sucks.

Phoenixthebird

iloveme, the picture that I posted was to state someone missed the boat or there was a lack of communication between your counselor and yourself. Her statement would have taken up a total of one minute. How did the rest of the 44 minutes, assuming your appointment with her was for 45 minutes, consist of? Did you ask her to explain her statements for a clearer understanding? "If we are faced with miscommunication, we must keep our minds open to additional possibilities without adopting a certain truth about the other person until we know exactly from them what they are thinking."

Therapy is a two-way street. During the initial evaluation, it really is more important what you have to say than what the therapist says or doesn't say. Personally, I don't think the therapist said anything wrong. She was trying to validate what she thought she heard you say. :ghug3 I feel, however, you think she missed the boat. The initial intake evaluation session is the time where the therapist and you get to know each other, very little work on your issues is attempted or accomplished. That will be done in the follow-up sessions, step by step.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. —Albert Einstein

Just my personal opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Love and Peace,
Phoenix

iloveme

Ohhhh,
Phoenix,

I was merely trying to let you in on how deppressed I became when I realized how closely related addiction and codependcy were.

Appearently, my effort were weak....:rotfxko

Phoenixthebird

iloveme, I agree with you! Someone here on SR posted that alcoholism and codependency are branches from the same tree......or as my therapist told me, that
I'm as addicted to my alcoholic, as my alcoholic is addicted to alcohol.

Phoenix

Shellcrusher

Thanks for the reminder. My therapist told me there were 3 options. 2 sounded similar to what you've posted and I can't remember the 3rd. Money well spent.

That's okay. I'm working through my anger phases and it feels good to verbally vomit for an hour. Drains my bottle as she says.

I feel the options are sad but I'd rather be codependent versus an alcoholic.

Learn2Live

Well I'm both and to be honest I'm not sure which is worse. I'd rather be neither.

Shellcrusher

Even better

wicked

I have been both, or actually working the codepency, but yeah, being an alcoholic was zombie life. Lonely death.
With codies, I can be surrounded by a bunch of people who touch my heart.

Beth

iloveme

Thanks family!

tallulah

I'm not sure how to feel about that statement to be honest. It's a bit sweeping for me. I'm wondering how a friend of mine, who doesn't drink and was raised in a loving drink free home, managed to get all codie.

I'm rubbish with 'boxes'.

StarCat

Someone doesn't have to grow up in an alcoholic home to become an alcoholic, or to exhibit codependent behavior.
For example, if someone is in a relationship with an abusive man, she'd begin to exhibit codependent behavior - not because she's desperate to "fix him" but because you she didn't want to go through the abuse again. In this case, she could be codependent, or she could be in survival mode, or both. This is just one example.

It's also possible that you don't know the whole story. My family did not drink, but they did have a lot of "isms" behind closed doors. Very few people recognize how unhealthy my parents were, and they had a lot of friends. (Of the people who figured it out the best, one was a psychologist who specialized in some of that behavior and recognized what he was looking at, and the other is a close neighbor friend of mine I spent a lot of time with who my parents had tried to "convert" to Catholicism.)