Kjell

I'm an AA'er. I've had a very positive experience with AA and it's worked for me. I want to help others get and stay sober on SR and the experience I can share is going to be AA related.

Sometimes, I feel like AA is being "bashed" by folks who don't like AA.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm "bashing" those who I think are "bashing" AA.

Either way, these posts never end well and aren't solution based at all.

I'm going to try to do a better job posting, being patient, and remembering why we're all here, regardless of what recovery method (or lack there of) we're using.

Anyone want to join me?

Dee74

thanks Kjell.

I spent a long time 'in the trenches'.

I eventually realised I'm not in conflict with anyone here....we all want the same thing.

I also realised that anything anyone else says or believes can only annoy me if I let it.

I see my job here as a member is to share my experience - not to comment on someone else's experience.

It's not my job to 'set people straight' - I don't have all the answers - all I can share is what happened to me & how I got out - if I'm living my recovery right, that should be enough....

Sometimes my message will be useful for people, sometimes it won't be, but that's not up to me

D

Jackedjohn

I'll support you here and just agree to disagree elsewhere. Best wishes

least

Sounds good to me!

MsCooterBrown

LaFemme

Sounds good to me

I'm going to add that we should give one another the beneflt of the doubt with regards to the tone of our posts...sometimes a post can come across as snarky when that wasn't the intention...its just the limits of posting on an online forum instead of talking face to face like human beings

least

After struggling for most of two years and finally 'getting it' I often feel frustrated when/if others don't seem to be 'getting it'. Like watching someone standing in the path of an oncoming train... and not moving even when you're screaming "run!" Like when you're trying to tell someone that the key to their prison is in their own pocket but they won't take it out and open the door. Sometimes I need to just step away, but it's so hard to do...

God grant me patience... and I want it now!

GettingStronger2

I'm in with you. Different people get sober different ways. The goal is the same: to STAY sober.

ArtDeco454

I've never understood the concept of being negative when the program has worked for so many for so many years. One day at a time.

Hevyn

Thank you Kjell for your honesty and open mindedness. It is needed & appreciated.

Supercrew

I think it goes both ways Art. As was said we are all on our own path. I believe AA works very well for some people, some people use other recovery methods that might not be a stringent as AA, and don't want to be told that there way is wrong, or there is only one way if you have a specific type of problem.

Believe it or not a majority of people who recover from alcoholism use no recovery program. The Dr. tells them their health is failing because they are an alcoholic, and their brain goes into survival mode and they stop drinking cold turkey with no support whatsoever. I tried that, but I felt I needed more support so I found SR. I find the only time that I get bashed is when I might be being overbearing in the way I suggest someone recover exactly the way I did, or if I get stuck on a point that I think is a fact when others feel it is just my opinion or experience. We are all different and even if my method is completely proven in my mind if I try to force it down your throat it's probably my fault if I get thrown up on.

Nice post KJell, I will try to keep it in mind with each post!

coffeenut

If it helps....sometimes I feel if you don't use AA you are bashed.

Now.....I avoid those threads like the plague and I'm shocked I'm even commenting in this one.

I just think that there are a billion alcoholics out there and probably a billion ways to treat it. There is no one right way.

If someone has been able to find sobriety, I want to learn from them. I don't care who it is. I'm grateful to AAers, Smarters, YouNameIters.

Thank you all for sharing. It helps!

Supercrew: Just reread your post. Love it! Thanks...I'll try that myself!

Kmber2010

Kjell, thank you for posting this!!! You have me 100% on board!

While I do not do AA, I offer like others my experience, what I did and what worked/what didn't.

The respect I give others is what I hope to receive in return. We are all here because we have found or want to find a better way.

I have passed by many a bickering over forms of recovery and honestly....it leaves me shaking my head and I know that I and certainly others (especially our new friends) don't need to see that. Yet, most of the time I just keep on passing by instead of engaging and getting drawn in. I mean to what?

May I also share too that while we offer our experiences lets remember that we can't make or force anyone help themselves so if you we become to attached to a post or someone's journey then move on if we can't find some light to offer. Our frustration needs not be vented over and over in a thread.

We all find our way when we are ready and I know just reading shares and experiences were tremendous to get me started on my own.

Way to go on a great post and good vibe for the New Year. Always about positive growth ya know

yeahgr8

Any of us that find a solution to getting out of the absolute living hell we were in are naturally going to defend that course and be passionate about it...it would be abnormal not to...

Then after a while you realise that not a thing you can say will get anyone into recovery who isn't really and willing to change, the best case is you end up keeping someone dry for a while, they then get a resentment against you and whatever route to recovery you are advocating and odds are that you never see them again...

So like it says in our program we just talk to another drunk sharing our experience and if they want it they will let you know...

Forcing ones will on another is actually a form of violance...

So i think we can all agree that AA is the best way to get sober and have a happy life

nacona

Now that was funny!!!

ACT10Npack

I think we all have are own way to stay sober. Some use AA and other use SMARTS and other use SOS. It comes down the each person that is going through there own hell to found out what they really need to get out of it. It's not always the easiest thing to do but we can all try to give each other support to make sure they are a little bit easier going through it. We all have ups and downs. Lets try to keep each other level.

BP44

Kjell, It took me some time to get out of the debating society in SR. The fact is SR is a huge mixed bag. While our home group has a diverse group of people, this place reveals diversity on a different level. For instance, while our group has a diverse group of characters, you haven't nor are you likely to see someone stroll in spouting about the virtues of the "Sinclair Method" or how they've found some other solution to drinking moderately. This place captures all kinds. What I've learned is to take people at their word. It just astounds me how someone will declare they want non AA feedback because AA is not for them or they had a "bad experience" with AA and they will get 20 replies telling them they need to try a new group or that isn't really AA, blah, blah, blah. What I've learned is that I need to leave those threads alone. There are some folks I have learned that I don't have anything to offer. If my experience has been discounted before I open my mouth, then it's really a waste of my time. And my time is a precious commodity. If you haven't already, you will have guys asking you to sponsor them. That process has taught me, and it will teach you as well, that my job is to focus on the willing. I am not and cannot be all things to all people in the rooms, and least of all here on SR. One last thing, I also had to get free of this idea that somehow I had to defend AA. When I take a hard look at that I realized what an arrogant position that is. AA did quite well for 70 plus years without my defense, and quite frankly was doing quite well without my membership. And they weren't doing a membership drive trying to pull me in either when I came bounding back in the doors. Something to consider. Again, Happy Birthday, I'm sorry I missed seeing you pick up your chip the other night, but hope you'll be at Birthday Night!!!! You're in good company, the board is filling up with names of folks celebrating this month.

WakeUp

Well my pledge is not to get into these AA vs non-AA wars. I almost responded last night to something, then thought better of it. If I need to thump my Big Book, I'll do it in my own backyard, the 12 Step forum. Not that its the most supportive place on SR, but at least it's our own corner.

Anna

I disagree with you Yeahgr8.

I am passionate about recovery, extremely passionate about recovery, which is why I have spent years here at SR. I don't defend my method of recovery. I see no reason to defend it. It works for me, and I have no need to prove it can work for someone else. Instead I share my method of recovery when asked about it.

Kjell

That is very true right there Barry.

I'll be a bday night this month for sure. Gotta get my 1 year medal and celebrate all the other January bdays.

See ya soon. You've been most helpful in getting me sober.