my 16 year old son needs help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: toronto canada
Posts: 3
my 16 year old son needs help
over the past year i have watched my then 15 year old now 16
get into all kinds of things drinking drugs and so on. IM a single mother of 3 oldest is female age 22 then male 18 then my 16 year old. I dont drink neither does my other 2 the prob is my ex does drink and lives close by to us. I left his father 9 years ago for the same reason the drinking and his horrid mouth towards myself. I thought at the time his anger would just be towards me it seems not it now stems out to my daughter and my boys.
the sad part now is im watching my 16 year old standing in the room swearing and call his sister ***** and a **** and throwing things and how he hates us all and so on. Im sure all of us on here have been through this. Anyone have any ideas as where i can get him help or what to do with him i have spent days on the phone to no avail more then attend a meeting for myself. And tonight i will be attending a meeting. Im lost im confused im in tears i just dont know what to do with him any longer plse if anyone has dealt with this plse share so i know im not alone
laura
get into all kinds of things drinking drugs and so on. IM a single mother of 3 oldest is female age 22 then male 18 then my 16 year old. I dont drink neither does my other 2 the prob is my ex does drink and lives close by to us. I left his father 9 years ago for the same reason the drinking and his horrid mouth towards myself. I thought at the time his anger would just be towards me it seems not it now stems out to my daughter and my boys.
the sad part now is im watching my 16 year old standing in the room swearing and call his sister ***** and a **** and throwing things and how he hates us all and so on. Im sure all of us on here have been through this. Anyone have any ideas as where i can get him help or what to do with him i have spent days on the phone to no avail more then attend a meeting for myself. And tonight i will be attending a meeting. Im lost im confused im in tears i just dont know what to do with him any longer plse if anyone has dealt with this plse share so i know im not alone
laura
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hi Laura
My son is an addict, so I know the pain of watching them self-destruct. But he is 35 and not a minor.
I'm glad you attend meetings. That is a huge step in regaining our sanity.
I'm from Toronto myself, and I don't rememer if being a minor is under 16 or 16 and under, but if he is a minor, you can insist that he get help. Some of it is pretty tough, like a boot camp north of Toronto, but this place also has a good reputation and a high success rate with what they call incorrigables. Send me a PM if you need further information on this.
Normally we have a "hands off the addict" approach, but for a teenager we agree with you that they need to get help now, regardless of whether they want it or not.
Sending hugs and prayer
Ann
My son is an addict, so I know the pain of watching them self-destruct. But he is 35 and not a minor.
I'm glad you attend meetings. That is a huge step in regaining our sanity.
I'm from Toronto myself, and I don't rememer if being a minor is under 16 or 16 and under, but if he is a minor, you can insist that he get help. Some of it is pretty tough, like a boot camp north of Toronto, but this place also has a good reputation and a high success rate with what they call incorrigables. Send me a PM if you need further information on this.
Normally we have a "hands off the addict" approach, but for a teenager we agree with you that they need to get help now, regardless of whether they want it or not.
Sending hugs and prayer
Ann
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
I agree with Ann...my son is now 29 so I have to remain hands off...but if I was dealing with a minor today I would take a tough stance. Demand intervention with treatment, confinement anything you can find.
PM Ann...she has enough contacts in Toronto to start an agency!!
Hugs and luck,
JT
PM Ann...she has enough contacts in Toronto to start an agency!!
Hugs and luck,
JT
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: toronto canada
Posts: 3
thanks for your help i will be asking ann for those numbers im just heading off to a alanon meeting right now my first time
he is at the moment sleeping it off and my oldest is watching over him thks for your help all
he is at the moment sleeping it off and my oldest is watching over him thks for your help all
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
midnightcanada,
Welcome...These ladies here know about everything there is to know about how to deal with a mimor.....I only know about full-grown A's...I can't tell you how I wish sometimes they were still minors with me knowing what I now know
Oh look out world, she wishes she was in charge...Not really! I do know you will find help, understanding, and support in Al-Anon...I go there weekly and have never looked back....
Love and prayers from one who cares..
Welcome...These ladies here know about everything there is to know about how to deal with a mimor.....I only know about full-grown A's...I can't tell you how I wish sometimes they were still minors with me knowing what I now know
Oh look out world, she wishes she was in charge...Not really! I do know you will find help, understanding, and support in Al-Anon...I go there weekly and have never looked back....
Love and prayers from one who cares..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: toronto canada
Posts: 3
hi all
thks for all your support
Ann thks for the info im afraid i cant fig out how to send u back a msg on there yet i just got in. Im working in a few hours till 3pm
and then i will call that person thks so much.
i think by sounds of things maybe i should start a support group for teens in toronto as so far i cant find a thing on this as the groups are all adults. im going to fig out how to respond to your other msg.
thks laura
thks for all your support
Ann thks for the info im afraid i cant fig out how to send u back a msg on there yet i just got in. Im working in a few hours till 3pm
and then i will call that person thks so much.
i think by sounds of things maybe i should start a support group for teens in toronto as so far i cant find a thing on this as the groups are all adults. im going to fig out how to respond to your other msg.
thks laura
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Midnight
The name I gave you is a man who works with troubled youth all the time and I know he can give you many good suggestions and tell you who to contact. He is a wonderful person who dedicates his life to this. Don't forget to tell him how you heard of him. He may not remember, but I know he will help.
Don't worry about the PM. It's okay. I'm just glad that you received the info.
Keep us posted and if i can help further just let me know.
Hugs
Ann
The name I gave you is a man who works with troubled youth all the time and I know he can give you many good suggestions and tell you who to contact. He is a wonderful person who dedicates his life to this. Don't forget to tell him how you heard of him. He may not remember, but I know he will help.
Don't worry about the PM. It's okay. I'm just glad that you received the info.
Keep us posted and if i can help further just let me know.
Hugs
Ann
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Carrollton, Texas
Posts: 218
Dearest Canada...I do know what you are going through. My son is now 19, but this started when he was in his 15th year. I have watched my son go from a straight A student..one that babysat the children at church..was responsible for counting the offerings at church..saw him go to someone who would steal his brothers lunch money right out of my purse. He has sunk so far..and yet he still has a ways to drop before he hits bottom. I tanked out here a while ago and decided that my other children..nor myself and spouse had to drop with him..so we all decided that while this is his trip..we don't have to be on it. No dear...it is not easy..basically turning your back on him..all the while keeping one eye on him. We have just gotten to the point where we had to put Sean out. For our own mental wellbeing and that of our home...it was the only option. It wasn't easy..and believe me .. if you go back and read my first posts..you will see that I was an emotional basket case for days. But it came to pass..and I slept free for the first time in months. I woke up today realizing that my bedroom door wasn't locked..and I didn't look for my purse right away. It is sad..but it is freeing. I choke up from time to time during the day...thinking about the son I have lost..but then I think about all he has stolen from us..and it passes.
Please please keep coming back. The folks here don't mind if you feel the need to rant and rave..they have all been in your shoes in one way or another. As a mom to a mom...I am hugging you close. You can always talk to me...I'll listen and I'll understand.
Please please keep coming back. The folks here don't mind if you feel the need to rant and rave..they have all been in your shoes in one way or another. As a mom to a mom...I am hugging you close. You can always talk to me...I'll listen and I'll understand.
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