transformyself

and they had to put him down over the Christmas break.

My son just told me.

For those of you who haven't followed my ongoing Days of Our Lives saga with the neighbors, I had some seriously struggles over the summer with boundaries, once I realized how dramatically different our parenting styles are. One of my concerns was the huge, aggressive dog that kept getting out and attacking other dogs.

In the end, I stopped letting my kids go over there. For other reasons too besides the dog, but I was pretty freaked out by him. He was out of control.

I'm sad about this though. I know my neighbor loved her dog, she's a very kind, very loving woman, a vet, and I know she was trying to keep him in check.

It's too bad this had to happen, especially to their daughter. She has a line of stitches on her face that's a good 5 inches long. He really nailed her.

There's a lesson for me here. Not sure what...

Shellcrusher

Dog bites are always bad.

My sympathy goes out to the daughter with a 5 inch stitched dog bite on her face. That will never go away.

I am not a dog lover. I'm not a dog hater. I reckon I learned my lesson from my parents dog. As a kid, their dog did something similar to the neighbors daughter. The dog was put down immediately. I was raised to never allow aggressive dogs into the human realm.

I'm not interested in philosophical debates on canine domestication/husbandry.

transformyself

I was raised the same way, so to see this aggressive dog that was essentially babied was very difficult for me.

this is when I learned to be clear and kind with my boundaries. I didn't want to tell them what I thought of them and their irresponsabilities, the good folks here taught me that I should just stfu and keep that to myself. Which I did. thank goodness.

So I've talked to the mom and told her how sorry I am. It feels so good to be in this position-having taken my kids out of a dangerous situation, without shaming her, and being able to offer support in this way.

I'm learning! Don't give up on me!

Learn2Live

I typed you a longer post but it got lost. The long and short of it was: You were RIGHT!!! I am glad you set that boundary even if someone might have been offended by it.

Learn2Live

Yeah, I am learning how to Discern and set appropriate boundaries instead of Judging and giving someone an earful. The new way is better and makes me feel more mature

kiki5711

ok, if a dog bit one of my kids, I would chew his head off, then have it put to sleep.

"sorry" anger issues here...

least

The neighbor is a vet?? And had an aggressive dog?? Something's not right here... You have every right to protect your kids and she has no right to allow an aggressive dog to run loose. I'm a dog lover and will not excuse anyone from having a mean dog running loose. How did the dog 'get' so mean?? Dogs aren't born mean, they become that way.

escape artist

sue the vet. she should well know better and a five inch scar is going to cost alot to repair. i am sure she has insurance for it too.

transformyself

It wasn't my daughter, it was HER daughter. The vets daughter.

And its absolutely tragic. I went over there last night with a movie and some munchies and the kids played and we hung out for awhile. We didn't talk about it at all, I just wanted to reconnect wtih them (our kids love each other and we were very close friends until I moved in across the street and got freaked out by how they both parented-or didn't-and struggled with their giant crazy dog)

So yeah, my whole lessen in this has been to not judge, even though I'm so good at it. And be humble. I think.

transformyself

And Least- I have to respectfully disagree with dogs aren't born mean.

We had a puppy several years ago, the cutest, most adorable little weener dog puppy. As she grew, she became more and more nasty. By the time she was three months old she gaurded food, toys, space. I worked with her and the kids non stop. We consulted a trainer who verified we were training her correctly.

In the end, she really nailed my 10 year old as he walked by and the trainer took her for me. She ran a bully breed no kill operation. Wonderful, buxom lesbian woman who really knew about dogs and loved them.

She worked with Ruby for three months, then handed her over to a different trainer who worked with her for awhile too before "humanely euthenizing her."

I was horrified and convinced I had done something wrong, but both trainers explained to me that sometimes, dogs are just glitched out and cannot be trained to stop attacking people or other dogs.

I believe them. I utterly trusted the first trainer who helped us and took Ruby. She had three pit bulls herself and really knew what she was doing. She said Ruby would attack her pit bulls! (My son has a pitt and he's the biggest baby on the face of the earth-a real sweetheart)

Shellcrusher

I assumed I knew what lesson you were searching for and completely missed the mark on it.

Way to go for not getting in your neighbors face about it.

I agree that dogs aren't born mean but I also believe they have instinct.

escape artist

i didn't realize it was her own child. child services should get on their butts about their negligence. it is unconscionable that a veterinarian could possibly allow something like that to happen to her own child. so the kid gets to pay the price for the parent's idiocy. not good at all.

gerryP

I know this thread is not about dogs, that said and as an aside,I find it hard to believe a "Vet" would continue to keep an aggressive dog. sigh.

I have never been without a dog in my life and tend to agree with Least, but I suppose there can always be a 'bad egg'. I t goes back to finding it hard to believe a 'Vet' knowing this would continue keeping an aggressive dog. (Did I mention, I realize this thread is not about dogs)

I know some might take offense at my next comment. Better her daughter was bitten and not someone else's child. She ought to have known better and she saved herself a law suit by the bite being to one of her own. Silly, silly woman.

transformyself

I won't attack you gerry, it just makes me sad. The whole situation.

I believe my vet friend/neighbor is doing the best she can. She's probably the most gentle, caring, repressed person I know. I disagree with the intimate details of how she raises her daughter, and also with the dog and how she kept him when to me it was clear he was insane all along. He was a purebred catahoola carolina something, a dog that actually hunts wild boar! She LOVED this dog. He was her baby. And he listened to her, but she worked all the time and the dog was left with her husband and parents, with whom they live.

Bottom line, though, for me, is that it wasn't my job or responsibility to tell her how I disagreed with her, just to make boundaries and hold them.

gerryP

"I won't attack you Gerry, it just makes me sad"

Am I reading that correctly? I'm not sure why you would feel the need to attack me??

transformyself

nope, just responding to this

gerryP

Ahhh, Okay, I'm glad I asked.

LucyA

Poor kid, I hope she's ok.
I was bitten by someone elses dog when I was 10 years old. My scars aren't visible usually, they're on the top of my right thigh, but I see them every day and I'm still scared of 'someone elses' dog! I was afraid to go out in case I encountered a dog for a very long time.

I've had german sheperds (the breed that bit me) since, as long as I know them they're OK, but if one walks past even on a lead I still go cold, 34 years later.

Learn2Live

When I was about 10 I witnessed my close friend being attacked by a german shepard and I physically froze. And yes, I too was scared of them for a very long time. People forget that dogs are animals, not babies. And yes, as Transformy's story shows, even vets forget. Insurance companies do not, however.