Update: The Art of Living in Today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Update: The Art of Living in Today
I've received a few PM's and phone calls asking me how things are going. I promised to share my experiences--good and bad--here on SR.
You may recall that we allowed our son to come live with us after rehab. I would NEVER recommend that anyone do this. I believe that it is best for the recovering addict (and their family) to go to a sober living environment after treatment. But that is not the path we chose for ourselves.....right or wrong....we allowed him to move in with us.
Things initially seemed to be going ok but then they took a turn for the worse and we were very concerned....he had relapsed and it looked like he was going to head into a downward spiral. I was able to maintain a serene detachment. I was able to sleep, concentrate at work, and not obsessively worry. I accepted that whatever happened was out of my control.
I prayed....a lot. I asked my HP for courage to do whatever he might direct me to do. I asked my HP to help me stay calm and serene. I asked my HP to guide me.....and to please be obvious with the answer......because I can be dense. I prayed....and I waited for that obvious response. My HP was sure taking his sweet ol' time getting back to me. lol
Then....something changed.....my son started going to meetings...sometimes two a day. He started talking about new friends that he was meeting at his meetings. He bought tickets to a sober event for New Years Eve. He spent New Years Eve sober for the first time in his adult life.
We had a nice talk last night. He explained what happened. He called it a spiritual awakening.....that he gets it. He realized that he can't work the program without a sponsor. He got a sponsor. He realized that he couldn't do it without going to meetings. So he is getting to meetings every day. He realized he couldn't do it and still stay connected to "old friends" in any way. He realizes that while he's sitting in those meetings, his addiction is waiting in the parking lot doing knuckle pushups.
I still feel this strange detachment. I still feel that I have no control. But I am thankful....
I'm thankful that my HP took his time getting back to me.
I'm thankful that I was able to stay calm.
I'm thankful for the lessons I am learning.
I'm thankful that my son is sober one day at a time.
I'm thankful for my serenity.
I am thankful that I am slowly learning the Art of Living in Today.
gentle hugs
You may recall that we allowed our son to come live with us after rehab. I would NEVER recommend that anyone do this. I believe that it is best for the recovering addict (and their family) to go to a sober living environment after treatment. But that is not the path we chose for ourselves.....right or wrong....we allowed him to move in with us.
Things initially seemed to be going ok but then they took a turn for the worse and we were very concerned....he had relapsed and it looked like he was going to head into a downward spiral. I was able to maintain a serene detachment. I was able to sleep, concentrate at work, and not obsessively worry. I accepted that whatever happened was out of my control.
I prayed....a lot. I asked my HP for courage to do whatever he might direct me to do. I asked my HP to help me stay calm and serene. I asked my HP to guide me.....and to please be obvious with the answer......because I can be dense. I prayed....and I waited for that obvious response. My HP was sure taking his sweet ol' time getting back to me. lol
Then....something changed.....my son started going to meetings...sometimes two a day. He started talking about new friends that he was meeting at his meetings. He bought tickets to a sober event for New Years Eve. He spent New Years Eve sober for the first time in his adult life.
We had a nice talk last night. He explained what happened. He called it a spiritual awakening.....that he gets it. He realized that he can't work the program without a sponsor. He got a sponsor. He realized that he couldn't do it without going to meetings. So he is getting to meetings every day. He realized he couldn't do it and still stay connected to "old friends" in any way. He realizes that while he's sitting in those meetings, his addiction is waiting in the parking lot doing knuckle pushups.
I still feel this strange detachment. I still feel that I have no control. But I am thankful....
I'm thankful that my HP took his time getting back to me.
I'm thankful that I was able to stay calm.
I'm thankful for the lessons I am learning.
I'm thankful that my son is sober one day at a time.
I'm thankful for my serenity.
I am thankful that I am slowly learning the Art of Living in Today.
gentle hugs
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
((( kindeyes )))
thank you for sharing your journey with us. Your recovery is shining. I hope that this is your son's time, and that his HP continues to put the right people in his path.
Hugs from mom to mom
Cats
thank you for sharing your journey with us. Your recovery is shining. I hope that this is your son's time, and that his HP continues to put the right people in his path.
Hugs from mom to mom
Cats
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I am historically a very impatient person. If things aren't happening in the time that I think they should be happening......I'll do it myself.....or force the issue upon someone else. It is really not a very good trait. It is definitely a character defect. Not something I'm proud of. It's also something that I use to think was an admirable trait. Because stuff got done. But it wasn't always MY stuff to do. lol Sound familiar to anyone out there?
Step Four.
I think I'm ready.
I've been doing it over the last several months anyway but not in the formal study that I should. But I think about it alot.
I think Step Four is the "forever step". One that I must work on every single day, one day at a time, for the rest of my life. It is never finished.
Patience. They say it's a virtue. It's definitely a virtue that I have not possessed.
Perhaps when our HP doesn't answer our prayers right away......he is teaching us the Art of Patience.
gentle hugs
Step Four.
I think I'm ready.
I've been doing it over the last several months anyway but not in the formal study that I should. But I think about it alot.
I think Step Four is the "forever step". One that I must work on every single day, one day at a time, for the rest of my life. It is never finished.
Patience. They say it's a virtue. It's definitely a virtue that I have not possessed.
Perhaps when our HP doesn't answer our prayers right away......he is teaching us the Art of Patience.
gentle hugs
work in progress
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: the sunshine state
Posts: 623
"I am historically a very impatient person. If things aren't happening in the time that I think they should be happening......I'll do it myself.....or force the issue upon someone else. It is really not a very good trait. It is definitely a character defect. Not something I'm proud of. It's also something that I use to think was an admirable trait. Because stuff got done. But it wasn't always MY stuff to do. lol Sound familiar to anyone out there?"
***raising hand!****
God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me.
Thank you for sharing that.
***raising hand!****
God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me.
Thank you for sharing that.
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