NTurn

Today i woke up with a really positive attitude after a terrible down day yesterday finding out my sister was out of it again on vodka.. I lost count of how many days her binge lasted this time. I felt good when I woke up and geared myself for a visit to mums house, preparing myself for the worst, thinking the worst but I was feeling good and nothing was going to change that, new day new frame of mind and all that. So whatever I was going to see I knew how I was going to handle it..or not by walking away and leaving her to it.
Pleased to say I was there a little while and sis appeared ....sober, though a little bedraggled. She said hi, I said hi. Nothing was mentioned about her behaviour over the past few weeks, we even managed to raise a smile to each other at mum faffing about us as she does with us even at this age> being a mum myself!
When I got home I thought about my good mood... Twin thing perhaps? It happens a lot with us. Almost my sub-conscience letting me know everything was going to be okay today. We had a cuppa a chat about everyday things and she even asked me for her antabuse. Today I saw her making an effort with herself. (fisrt time in a long time)
I still feel good today because today for a little while I got my sister back and I shall wait and see what tomorrow brings, just hope she has the strength to get through another day and accept professional help ...fingers crossed. I know to some people it may not seem a lot..its only today but the relief I felt when I saw her sober was huge! Phew!

Phoenixthebird

NTurn, :ghug3 I agree with you......This was A BIG THING! I just hope your sister, also, felt the good emotions exchanged between the two of you. Sometimes it's the "littlest" things in life that can make the BIGGEST impressions! It must be very hard on you watching your twin sister become an alcoholic, to me, it would appear, like it would be like watching yourself become one. I am a big supporter of codependents using the "LOVE" approach to our alcoholic love ones. "LOVE" stands for:
Let the drinker experience the negative consequences of drinking.
Optimise your time together when the drinker is sober.
Value the drinker as the person you love(d).
Encourage change.

This is what I heard in your narrative. You optimised your time with your sister and you valued her as the person you love. You wrote "Today I saw her making an effort with herself. (first time in a long time) I still feel good today because today for a little while I got my sister back......" Just remember our three C's...we didn't cause it...we can't control it...and we can't cure!

Love and Peace,

Phoenix

NTurn

Thanks Phoenix..It is the little things that make a big impression..today was nice just to be able to hold a normal conversation that didn't revolve around her addiction.
Yes, sometimes it feels like its me this is happening to..we are so close. Some days I think I can read her mind, I know how much she is hurting & I know before talking to her or seeing her whether things are good or bad.
The steps I am taking now are, trying to detach myself from her when she is drinking so she has to face the responsibility & consequence, which I have managed to do and stick to over the past few days though its been hard because I just want to take it all away for her and I miss her but I know its not my responsibility. Spoke to mum tonight, all is still good so I can sleep soundly tonight ...bonus!