SASA

when I started my journey in June of this year I had no idea how sobriety will effect my life. It was hard, there are many temptations out there and the voice in the head will never go away. I realized for me my triggers are most of the time stress and relationship issues. Whne I started I had no selfworth, I felt like I am not important and do not deserve a better life. I kept reading SR and over time I could start to manage my feelings better. Then in november a friend came to live with me and it was and is painful. I felt like the devil is visiting. He constantly told me to buy wine and party with him, he tried to push my buttoms and triggers. Without SR I would have caved. Just before christmas when I left to visit my mom I went with him to the liquor store, we bought wine and cognac. I prepared a nice dinner and sipped tea, he had his drinks. The good news was I did not cave in, he had a bad hangover the next day and I felt relieve. I realized I turned the situation around. Then coming to my mom who drinks over christmas and new year everybody celebrated and drunk, waking up with hangovers. My mom tried and still tries to tempt me. We agreed before that there would be no wine in the house, now we have at least 10 bottles plus cognac etc. However I realized I am not craving alcohol any longer. I am going for long walks and exercise, drinking tea. I finally forgave her and my family for what they did. Thye do things because they are alcoholics and they do not know better. I believe they act to the best they can. If they hurt me it is how they perceive the world and not necessarily because they want to hurt me. They believe they help me by offering me wine, they want me to relax like they do. Unfortunatly I woke up, they are still sleeping, being zoombied by alcohol.
Thanks to all of you for being here. Happy new year.

Orkney

Most inspirational post SASA, sounds like you have made a great breakthrough & remained strong against the odds, well done and keep up the positive attitute

LaFemme

Congrats on staying strong in the face of such adversity. That's really impressive.

Is there any way to improve your living situation? I am sure you can continue to remain strong but your roommate doesn't seem like someone I would want to live with if he doesn't respect your sobriety.

Hugs, LaFemme

jamdls

Congratulations SASA for staying strong in spite of the temptation around you. I too, don't think the roommate sounds like much of a friend at all if he continues to try and temp you, if you made an agreement to have no alcohol in the house then you need to enforce the agreement and if he doesn't like it well....

Anna

Good for you!

And, I agree with the other comments about the roommate situation.

Dearyme

Very inspirational - reading this post will help me "wake up" - you have done amazingly well xxx

SASA

Hi I appreciate your comments and agree, changing my roomate would definitly help, however with the temptations around it actually forces me to decide and the more I stay strong and make the right decisions the better I feel. Living with him actually forces me to say no every day and it brings my drinking problem in the foreground, so I focus on it and do not forget about it. So I believe my HP is helping indirectly giving me these tests. Especially he would not give them to me if he would not believe I can get trough them...... does that make sence? And I hope my roomate will recognize and change one day..... or not and he will be an a.... as always..

Snarf

I understand what you're saying about passing tests every day. I can pass tests all day long. I just don't like having to take them. I don't see any reason to force myself to when another option is available. I work in a bar, so I'm around booze all the time, and all the time I'm saying "NO!" to it. But when I get off work, I don't hang around the bar and tempt myself with the alcohol; I pack my bag and I go home. Where no one drinks in my house.

Congrats on your alcohol-free time, and good work on avoiding temptations around your family and roommate. It no longer bothers me when others try to push me to drink; I get satisfaction in thinking of the way they will feel the next morning vs me waking up bright eyed and bushy tailed.

raindancer11

Love this!

SASA

Snarf, I completly are with you. Unfortunatly booze is all around us and I was running from it and it always come from the back, now I stopped running and face the threat face on. No more running, if I really want to stop and stay stopped it does not matter if I face the booze with friends in 1 week,4 weeks or 5 weeks, I feel I am ready to take it on, finally I found some peace within me. I am no longer running, I am staying confident facing the storm, I found my place in the world. (Hope it is not a pink cloud,