Hello everyone...First full day of being sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Gadsden, AL
Posts: 3
Hello everyone...First full day of being sober
Hello all, I thought I would start off by introducting myself. My name is Logan, I am 23 years old and I am a recent college graduate. At this point in my life I am trying to figure out my next step.
I made a decision for myself that I wanted to try and go 30 days completely sober. I started drinking when I was 15 years old and I realized that I have been drinking and using for 8 years now. Whe I sat and thought about the last time that I have been sober for a full week....I couldn't. I can't remember.
I guess a little bit about my habits. I drink and typically heavily. I drink liquor of all kinds, beer, and wine all in the same day. I don't really have a problem mixing them. I smoke about a pack of cigarettes a day. On top of that I smoke marijuana regulrly and in the past month (December, 2010) I went on a severe cocaine binge. All of this mixed with several prescription medications- adderall, xanax, ambien, lortabs, etc...
I have also experimented with other drugs in the past such as acid and molly.
I have finally come to the realization that I am a trainwreck. I play it off too well though. Sometimes I wish it were easier for me to show that I have a problem but I dont think that even my mother has a clue as to how bad my situation has become.
I've notices mood changes, severe depression, and a lot of anxiety in the past month that further pushes me to drink or use.
There are other thoughts that plague my head that I turn to drinking or using to help them go away...
I honestly just feel like a trainwreck/disaster.
But today was my first full day of being sober. (I smoked 4 cigarettes, however and I just now have taken an ambien because I absolutely cannot fall asleep). I wanted to go completely clean and I am not sure that I am accomplishing that by taking ambien and smoking those cigarettes? Opinions?
Tonight though I got really, really bored. I was craving a bottle of wine and a xanax badly. I ended up watching tv, feeling antsy the whole time. I played with the dog then I took a bath. I could not sit still and relax in the bath the entire time so I got out and dried off and gor in the bed. I've been in the bed almost 2 hours now and I'm not really feeling the ambien that I took.
Overall, I am just feeling really, really stressed out and I am not sure what to do but I am excited that I have found this forum and hopefully can gain a lot from it and from the insight of others with similar situations.
I'm hoping that when I wake up (when I finally fall asleep) that tomorrow is going to be a better day.
I made a decision for myself that I wanted to try and go 30 days completely sober. I started drinking when I was 15 years old and I realized that I have been drinking and using for 8 years now. Whe I sat and thought about the last time that I have been sober for a full week....I couldn't. I can't remember.
I guess a little bit about my habits. I drink and typically heavily. I drink liquor of all kinds, beer, and wine all in the same day. I don't really have a problem mixing them. I smoke about a pack of cigarettes a day. On top of that I smoke marijuana regulrly and in the past month (December, 2010) I went on a severe cocaine binge. All of this mixed with several prescription medications- adderall, xanax, ambien, lortabs, etc...
I have also experimented with other drugs in the past such as acid and molly.
I have finally come to the realization that I am a trainwreck. I play it off too well though. Sometimes I wish it were easier for me to show that I have a problem but I dont think that even my mother has a clue as to how bad my situation has become.
I've notices mood changes, severe depression, and a lot of anxiety in the past month that further pushes me to drink or use.
There are other thoughts that plague my head that I turn to drinking or using to help them go away...
I honestly just feel like a trainwreck/disaster.
But today was my first full day of being sober. (I smoked 4 cigarettes, however and I just now have taken an ambien because I absolutely cannot fall asleep). I wanted to go completely clean and I am not sure that I am accomplishing that by taking ambien and smoking those cigarettes? Opinions?
Tonight though I got really, really bored. I was craving a bottle of wine and a xanax badly. I ended up watching tv, feeling antsy the whole time. I played with the dog then I took a bath. I could not sit still and relax in the bath the entire time so I got out and dried off and gor in the bed. I've been in the bed almost 2 hours now and I'm not really feeling the ambien that I took.
Overall, I am just feeling really, really stressed out and I am not sure what to do but I am excited that I have found this forum and hopefully can gain a lot from it and from the insight of others with similar situations.
I'm hoping that when I wake up (when I finally fall asleep) that tomorrow is going to be a better day.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,941
Hi and welcome auburn10 to SoberRecovery. This is a great place to gather support, learn and make the all the foundational changes you would like in recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Welcome Auburn10!
SR is a great place for support and education. It's great that you are taking action on your decision to get clean and sober. Were I you, I wouldn't worry so much about the tobacco ciggies just now. It was too discouraging for me, so it might be best to focus on quitting the alcohol and drugs.
If you can, it might be a good idea to talk to a medical doctor. Detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous. Plus, with the drugs you've been taking it might be complicated.
Keep reading and posting!
Love,
Lenina
SR is a great place for support and education. It's great that you are taking action on your decision to get clean and sober. Were I you, I wouldn't worry so much about the tobacco ciggies just now. It was too discouraging for me, so it might be best to focus on quitting the alcohol and drugs.
If you can, it might be a good idea to talk to a medical doctor. Detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous. Plus, with the drugs you've been taking it might be complicated.
Keep reading and posting!
Love,
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
auburn,
Good to see you again! Yes, it's absolutely normal for sleep to be a bit elusive early in sobriety. My best advice so to not obsess about it. Try to get on a regular routine with bedtime. If you can get in a little light exercise during the day, that will help you to sleep better at night.
Love,
Lenina
Good to see you again! Yes, it's absolutely normal for sleep to be a bit elusive early in sobriety. My best advice so to not obsess about it. Try to get on a regular routine with bedtime. If you can get in a little light exercise during the day, that will help you to sleep better at night.
Love,
Lenina
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,428
here are some common sense suggestions for sleep auburn 
Insomnia? 42 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures
D
Insomnia? 42 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome auburn - The insomnia will go away if you hang in there (It took a good week for me). Just take it one day at a time. I had a lot of anxiety the first couple days, too, but got through it by spending a lot of time on this forum.
I'm glad you're here - life is much better sober! Get all the support you can. None of us can do this alone.
I'm glad you're here - life is much better sober! Get all the support you can. None of us can do this alone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Welcome Auburn, and might I add "War Cam Eagle"
What you are experiencing is completely normal right now, as everyone else has posted.
I would suggest you read different forums here and try to learn as much as you can regarding alcoholism and addiction. Educating myself about the demon I was battling helped me understand what I had and was
experiencing.
I do attend AA, and have several young men in my home group that are your age. I am constantly amazed at how they live fun, productive lives sober.
In fact, several of these young men are Auburn, or AUM students.
I wasted many years getting wasted. How wonderful that you are seeking change at such a young age.
Once again, welcome.
What you are experiencing is completely normal right now, as everyone else has posted.
I would suggest you read different forums here and try to learn as much as you can regarding alcoholism and addiction. Educating myself about the demon I was battling helped me understand what I had and was
experiencing.
I do attend AA, and have several young men in my home group that are your age. I am constantly amazed at how they live fun, productive lives sober.
In fact, several of these young men are Auburn, or AUM students.
I wasted many years getting wasted. How wonderful that you are seeking change at such a young age.
Once again, welcome.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,775
Welcome to the family! I too think it's great that you want to get sober at such a young age. Living sober now means you won't be making any unhappy memories or troubles when you get older.
Please do get medical help to get safely thru withdrawals.
Living sober now means you won't be making any unhappy memories or troubles when you get older. Please do get medical help to get safely thru withdrawals.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 29
Hi Logan
It may seem tough to get clean from everything all at once. Hang in there. This is a great forum and the people are very supportive.
PS: I think it's amazing and brilliant that you're getting sober so early in your life (God, don't mean to sound so patronizing!!). I wish I had done it in my twenties instead of thirties
It may seem tough to get clean from everything all at once. Hang in there. This is a great forum and the people are very supportive.
PS: I think it's amazing and brilliant that you're getting sober so early in your life (God, don't mean to sound so patronizing!!). I wish I had done it in my twenties instead of thirties
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 47
I joined on Monday after drinking for way to long and have been sober for 3 days now and this is not easy but it will getting easier. I think that it may take about a week to really feel better but please know that the first few are truly the hardest. But if I can make it for 3 you can too! And know that everyone here will be so helpful. I think this place is a life saver!
One moment at a time.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 213
Hey Logan welcome to SR.. You are definitely in the right place. The decision to take the Ambien might not have been the best, depending on if it is prescribed by a doctor and he/she knows your condition. But I really can't give medical advise plus it is not allowed here on the forums. But the smoking.. That is up to you to decide, I still smoke, I also dip.. In fact I have a big fat dip in right now... I tried quitting it went well for a little while but I picked up quickly after that.. For me I have to continue working on the bigger issue being drugs and alcohol, although many have given up drugs/alcohol and nicotine at the same time.
I wish you the best! and WELCOME!!!
I wish you the best! and WELCOME!!!
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