learningnew

After being married for a month my wife told me she had been using meth for over 6 months. I was oblivious.
I have a brother in AA he's been sober for 12 years so I know something about recovery but NOTHING about being married to an addict. Can it work? Can you ever rebuild trust? Because right now I'm feeling like there is no hope. She has entered a treatment program and I have started going to Alanon meetings but I am scared. Can anyone give me any advice? I feel lost and confused.

doggonecarl

No, not as long as she's actively using, and still difficult while she's in recovery because of the trust issue.

She has to focus on her recovery; You have to focus on yours. Nar-anon should help you with that.

Good luck.

I abused Meth for two years and went through all my relationships like S#!T storm. But I also quit and have been free of that addiction for almost 30 years.

Kindeyes

Welcome to SR. I'm glad you found us. I hope you find comfort and support here. I certainly did.

It sounds like you are doing what you need to do right now. Getting to meetings (Alanon or Naranon) is a great start!

Tough question that only you and time can answer. The entire premise of Alanon and Naranon is that it enables us to find serenity whether the addict is using or not.

Stick around. There is a tremendous amount of collective wisdom here on SR. We are here to support you.

gentle hugs

learningnew

Thank you! I am glad to hear from someone that used meth before and has been clean for so long, meth really scares me because I know so little about it. I know that I need to do a lot of recovering myself. We continue to argue and I plan to go to a meeting tonight :\ honestly its because I don't know what else to do! Thanks again.

learningnew

Thanks - I don't know how to quote certain things but its seems impossible right now for me to be able to not go crazy worrying about whether or not she is using. I just want her to change her ways, I think more than she does, I think thats the problem. Thank you very much for the support!

keepinon

We usually are sick of their using looong before they are!We are not the ones checking out and getting high...just for a little more hope..my SIL has 13 years off meth,very active in NA..it can happen.Keep up with the alanon..saved my life!

learningnew

Thanks! Does it make a difference if I go to alanon or naranon? Should I just try both and find which one I am more comfortable with?

Kindeyes

Not a bad idea. Sometimes we connect better with one group than another. Personally, I found Naranon a better fit for me since my son's DOC (drug of choice) was meth. Although if there is not a Naranon group close to you, the concepts between Naranon and Alanon are the same.

I might also recommend that you go several times before making a decision whether it is for you or not. The first few times I went I thought it was just plain wierd. It took me a while to get use to the rituals and process. Now those same rituals and structure that I found "wierd" at first provide me with great comfort. And the slogans used are my mantras to get me through the day.

gentle hugs