englemuffin

Hi all, I am new to this, I have been on opiates for about 3 years now everyday and off and on for several years. It started with a car wreck and just seemed to spiral out of control. I never thought I had a problem until I desided I was done with these pills. Well boy was I wrong. The aches and chills, sweats and sleepless nights are un believeable! I tried many times to kick this alone but failed time and time again. Then a very good friend gave me some suboxen. I took 1/2 a pill in the am then 1/4 that evening. Then 1/4 twice the next day I was amazed at how the thoughts and cravings just vanished from my mind. I took my last sub last thursday and really thought I had beat this thing. Then Sunday the mind games started and I was almost overwelmed. Then yesterday morning I took a loratab because I just felt so bad and thought oh its ok Ill be ok with just one. Well 14 days clean of them and soon as I took it I wanted to throw it up I felt so guilty. So now about 35 hours later I feel like crap again but I will not give in. I am so determined to beat this. I can honestly say I can handel the chills, sweats and sleepless nights but OMG when do the mind games end??? It is as if it plauges my every thought.

ViciousCycle

I don't know much about pill use but I do know they can be very dangerous....especially when trying to get off them. I really think you should come clean with your doc or find a new doc. They can get you off the things safely and comfortably. Please consider this and best of luck.

Dee74

Hi englemuffin

Welcome!

I also think seeing a doctor is the best way - getting any prescribed drug off the street and self administering is always going to be hit and miss.

Whatever you decide to do, you'll find a lot of support here tho - check out our substance abuse forums as well
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Suboxone/Methadone Maintenance or Detox - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Are you looking into real life support groups like NA as well?
D

gravity

I've been an AA member for 3 years and I've met many people who have dealt with drug and/or alcohol addictions and are living great lives. No more cravings, obsessive thoughts, etc.

I strongly encourage you to reach out for help. It's out there!

Take care.

justjo

Im sorry you are experiencing this. Keep strong honey. JJ

Ghostly

I hope you seek out a medical professional. Consider a support system like NA. Sounds like you are determined to do this. You will find a lot of support here. Don't put it off. Check with a Dr., and get going on this! You can do this. It is up to you. Good luck and keep us posted.

Kmber2010

Welcome Engle. You have our support.

You have the desire to do this and it seems like some face to face support may be the missing piece. I found just quitting alone wasn't enough to change my life. I found getting help to learn to live again and handle the ups and downs of life without drinking to tremendous.

Glad you are here and know that there is an amazing life after addiction found through recovery. I would suggest working with a Dr. and finding a program of support.

Looking forward to the journey.

englemuffin

Thanks everyone for all the very heart felt comments. I would love to go to a doctor but I dont have insurance right now. However this is a great deal of help just to have some words of encouragment. I am staying positive (well trying to) today I feel like I could climb the walls my mind is going more than crazy, I feel so anxious. But I have gotten past the body aches and pains only thing left is random chills which are driving me nuts. On a good note im 16 days clean of opiates with the exception of the one I took Monday and 6 days of no suboxen. So I feel as though I am doing pretty well. I really thought taking that pill monday would make me relaps but luckily it only made me feel guilty. So by feeling guilty I know This is what I have to do for me, my family and Grandbabies. Also Im only smoking like a pack of cigs every 3 days lol I guess because the pills made me crave the smokes as well. Ha would be great to quit everything for 2011

sailorjohn

Welcome!!!

Nyte Byrd

As another poster pointed out, many have attended AA who have had drug addictions as well as drinking problems. Initially, my first thoughts were an in stay treatment may be best with those to detox from such substances, but from what you shared, that doesn't seem likely. I was also an 18 year IV heroin/cocaine user who now has 23 years sober in AA but I did go for rehab twice, once in 1984 and again in 1987. I just decided, I wasn't going to go to rehab every three years the rest of my life, nor was my life going to remain the way it was.

Things were going to have to change. I spent three years of my life on methadone as a living zombie and walked off the program and detoxed myself. I went through what you described. Not easy. I found soaking in hot epsom salt baths helped relax my body aches and helped me sleep. But it does take some time to detoxify and that you may go through some withdrawal effects even after you think they are over with some sweats and/or chills or body aches.

I can only recommend and reiterate what someone else with 3 years stated. AA (or NA) meeting attendance would immensely increase your chances to help you get past these crucial times in your life. Intentions are one thing. It's the actions in one's life that makes all the difference though. And when we're alone in our heads, we're in enemy territory.

There are also some wonderful people at the meetings to meet face to face who would be more than glad to offer support, and you would be helping them as well in the process. Good luck to you. Easy does it....the best way you know you, just for today, and trust that tomorrow it will get just a little easier.

Asking Him for help doesn't hurt either.

din

welcome ))

englemuffin

Nyte Byrd, Thank you so much for your thoughts. I am very proud of you for being sobar for so long and continuing to help others thru thier trials and errors. I do believe I will find a support group in my town as far as asking him for help I do every day I promise. Without my faith I dont think I could have even began this. The warm bath with aroma therepy salts has been a life saver. thats the only time I feel at peace lol unfortanetly I can not live in my tub. My mind is going 90 to nothing and I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin but still hanging on. I have to work tonight and that is the hardest part. I do think after I recover financially from christmas I will quit my night bar job as that is where the most influences to the drug are at. Its funny to think disassociating my self from any enablers of the drug would be ALL my friends. But I would rather have a wonderful recovery story to share and try to help them as well instead of disassociating my self with them. I have told anyone that sold to me NOT TO. and explained to them why and really for the most part they said they never knew I had a problem because it was not so bad. I only took 2-4 pills a day. It is amazing how those few pills can and will change your whole life. I am so thankful of my chicken side that never let me try anything any harder. Both of my parents were strung out for the most part of my life and I never wanted to be like that. so I always stayed away from other drugs telling myself this is pain meds and I need them they are drugs lol well YES they are and an opiate addiction is very hard to get rid of. I just want so much more out of life and to live long and drive my kids nuts!!and watch my grandbabies grow up.

LiveLikeGold6

Keep it up,. I'm praying for you.

englemuffin

Happy New Year everyone I would like you all to know I enjoyed a sober Ball Drop lol. What an experience that was. I actually remember the new year coming in. I am 21 days clean today and feeling wonderful about all the wonderful things to come. Thank you all so much for words of wisdom and encouragment. I know I am not all in the clear I have a long road yet ahead of me but I am staying very positive. I also told my husband all about my addiction which lifted a ton off of my shoulders. He is very proud of me and will support me all the way.

Anna

So glad to hear that you're doing well, and it's great that you have your husband's support.

Snarf

Nice work on the 21 days engle! I have a friend in the Gwinnett County Jail right now on felony drug charges, all because of his addiction to prescription meds. He missed Christmas with his little boy. And he wants so badly to get off the pills. I told him, "Well, you got a head start. It's not like you're taking them in jail."

Hopefully he can stay clean when he gets out, but that's just a small example of what this addiction can lead to. I'm very happy that you've been able to stay off the pills these 3 weeks, and I hope you continue to do so. Lots of my friends in high school liked taking pills in conjunction with alcohol, and unfortunately a few of them got hooked and have continued that behavior over the years. It's extremely difficult to kick the addiction. Be proud of yourself for your accomplishments, and focus your energies on staying clean in 2011!

Kmber2010

Engle what a great update and so good to see you on your way in the new year!! So glad that you told your husband and his is supportive!! I remember telling mine and while he does zippo to keep me sober....it is so nice to have him to talk to and share and route for me.

Whoohoo!!!

artsoul

Congratulations on 21 days engle! That's wonderful to hear - a new year and a new you! Glad your husband is supporting you. Keep hanging in there!

englemuffin

YEAH!!! today is one month clean and I feel wonderful. It seems like everything in my life is upward bound. I can't remember feeling this energised and healthy, my skin is clearing up my bags under my eyes are gone my husband is paying wayyyy more attention to me and omg our finances are amazingly higher than I ever knew we had lol I spent way to much money on pills. Planning a huge Birthday party for our Grandson and it feels GREAT to be able to do that for him. Thank you so much for all the very nice comments. I will check back often to see how everyone is doing.

Kmber2010

Way to go Engle and so glad to hear things are going good! We are definitely here so please do check in