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Old 12-27-2010, 12:26 PM
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Today I picked up my 30 day chip and very happy about this.

On another note, I feel like whenever I start a thread it's never happy. That said, my girlfriend just wrote me that her ex boyfriend died yesterday from OD/and Alcohol. I just wrote about this guy last week in my thread, except the post was about I was offended by a comment he made about me.

This is one of the problems I struggle with and a huge reason why I drank. I live inside of head - which is constantly spewing out crap (lies) and then I used the alcohol to quiet the static.

I feel like an ass. Lesson learned. Time to get outside of my head and stop be so GD self involved and neurotic individual. You never know when your time is up - and I can tell you I never cared about that fact - but I want to care about that fact. And I will.
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Old 12-27-2010, 12:35 PM
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Ima, that is great news on 30 days!!

As far as the issues you are having with being in your head.....well I do that quite often. I have found counseling to be tremendous in helping me work through things, find constructive ways of handling emotions/stress/etc. and learning to simply let things go.

Keep it going! You are doing great and know that the early months can be somewhat confusing mentally as we now learn to live a sober life. That is what I found takes time and I am working my recovery each day......
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Old 12-27-2010, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by imatryinhard View Post
Lesson learned. Time to get outside of my head and stop be so GD self involved and neurotic individual.
Congrats on the 30day chip, ITH. Cool stuff.

Std company lines ( ): 1. If you don't have one, find a sponsor as quickly as possible - someone who's worked the program, is living the program, is recovered and is happy. 2. Make sure you're reading the material and doing the best to work the steps yourself.

I learned the same lesson as you mentioned above (I learned it in a different fashion but....it was the same lesson). The problem wasn't the learning.... the problem was following through and changing based upon the new knowledge.

I wanted out of my head so bad....man....it reduced me to tears on numerous occasions. Long story short, I was as powerless over my mind and my thoughts as I was over alcohol. I truly could not manage my own mind.... That was a rough bottom to hit - and I hit it IN the program, many months sober, all the while being told I was doing great but feeling like I was dying inside.

If I didn't have some REALLY strong recovered mentors in my life at that time.......I'm almost positive I would have gone back out. Sometimes they had to push me hard - I was just too afraid to do it on my own.

Giving up the booze is a big deal.........but getting comfortable and happy in recovery is an even bigger deal. If you don't find out how to live....sober....and happy....... I'll guarantee you your time in sobriety will be short lived.

Stack the deck in your favor....get a sponsor, work the steps, and be open to seeking whatever HP is out there for you..... You'll have fun, life will be enjoyable, and you'll be able to keep collecting those chips until you get a metal one a 1 yr.
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Old 12-27-2010, 12:43 PM
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Congratulations on 30 days, Imatryin! I'm really sorry about your girlfriend's ex. Too many tragedies with this disease.

Don't be too hard on yourself (that's coming from another static-head).

Hugs!:day6
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Old 12-27-2010, 12:45 PM
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thanks both of you!

DayTrader: I agree with you. I better learn the other things or my sobriety will be short lived. And this is life or death for me personally.

I have a sponsor. But I also have some issue where I cant do things. Like routines. Or homework assigments (i procrastinate) I need to just DO IT.

I will report the progress.

Thanks!!
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Old 12-27-2010, 12:52 PM
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Congrats on your 30days! thats awesome! sorry to hear about your gf's ex.
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Old 12-27-2010, 12:52 PM
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Originally Posted by imatryinhard View Post
Today I picked up my 30 day chip and very happy about this.
Brilliant job. Well done!!

Originally Posted by imatryinhard View Post
I live inside of head - which is constantly spewing out crap (lies) and then I used the alcohol to quiet the static....Time to get outside of my head and stop be so GD self involved and neurotic individual
I paid a fortune teller in Thailand once. He told me wife "dont spend too much" and he told me "dont think too much".

This sobriety thing seems to be all about enjoying the moment for what it is and not getting too involved with the past or the future. We live only today.
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:20 PM
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Congrats on your thirty days!! I know what you mean about living inside your own head. I've always done this, to greater and lesser degrees. I don't mind living inside my own head as long as the accomodations are pleasant and not a total fantasy. If the inside of my head is healthy, then I don't mind living there and don't see it as a bad thing.

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Old 12-27-2010, 01:39 PM
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Hi Aimee.
I am sorry to hear of your gf's ex.

As for getting out of your head - I think most of us did that as another means of escape for the world that scared us, or angered us, or whatever - I think the move into the real world comes naturally when we stay sober and find that life, as it is, is actually not that bad.

Congratulations on 30 days! That's a great achievement
D
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:54 PM
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Nice one on 30 days sober!!

Peace
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Old 12-27-2010, 02:08 PM
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congradulations aimee!! proud of you!
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