Hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 15
Hi
I just wanted to introduce myself, I am 25 and am addicted to alcohol. I don't know where to start, but I am going to quit drinking. My children deserve better. No one in my life knows about my addiction, I drink after everyone goes to bed. I think I was addicted from the time I was in middle school, my family constantly gave me alcohol as a child. So, yeah I have been dealing with this demon for over a decade. It time for me to change.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Hi, and welcome. You have found a great place. This thread is full of people that were once where you are now and have found a better way. With some work you can also have what so many of us have.
For many of us, we discovered we simply could not quit on our own. If it were that easy, threads like this wouldn't exist. Do you have any plan on how to stop?
Keep reading and learning. You are in a great spot. And again, welcome.
For many of us, we discovered we simply could not quit on our own. If it were that easy, threads like this wouldn't exist. Do you have any plan on how to stop?
Keep reading and learning. You are in a great spot. And again, welcome.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by bdiddy5522 
Hi, and welcome. You have found a great place. This thread is full of people that were once where you are now and have found a better way. With some work you can also have what so many of us have.
For many of us, we discovered we simply could not quit on our own. If it were that easy, threads like this wouldn't exist. Do you have any plan on how to stop?
Keep reading and learning. You are in a great spot. And again, welcome.
For many of us, we discovered we simply could not quit on our own. If it were that easy, threads like this wouldn't exist. Do you have any plan on how to stop?
Keep reading and learning. You are in a great spot. And again, welcome.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Yeah, that first post isn't easy! The good news is that now you're not alone anymore - you're with people who understand and are trying to stay sober themselves.
Definitely try AA meetings and/or other kinds of recovery programs. The more support we get, the more solid our sobriety will be. Most people can't do this without help anyway.
Hope to see you around - the people here really care and are ready/able to give you lots of help.....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
That is great that you have a spouse that will support you and doesn't drink. My wife is a social drinker, so I do have to deal with alcohol in the house. It doesn't bother me though. Even though your husband doesn't drink, I think it may be good to get around people that also understand addiction. That is where I have used AA. But there are many different groups to choose from, depending on the size of town you live in. I am in a smaller town and AA is all we have here.
Again, I wish you well on your journey. It is an awesome trip with many rewards!
Again, I wish you well on your journey. It is an awesome trip with many rewards!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome Camaro!!! You have our support and there is so much good info on recovery and tons of experience.
I found it pretty scary too when I put things out there and actually thought about the way I lived life when I drank. The great part is.....You are here and never have to go through that again.
Glad you are with us and looking forward to the journey.
I found it pretty scary too when I put things out there and actually thought about the way I lived life when I drank. The great part is.....You are here and never have to go through that again.
Glad you are with us and looking forward to the journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 15
Thanks everyone. I don't really have any family besides dh to turn to though, my family is a bunch on alcoholics and would get a laugh out of me. I am going to look into meetings around here, I hope to find a women's group.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by Camaro
I don't know where to start,
Originally Posted by Camaro
My children deserve better.
My sons were 1 and 3 when I got sober. They were a large part of me hitting bottom, when I realized even they weren't as important to me than drugs and alcohol had become. Today, they are 24 and 26 because of the simple decision I made, which sounds like the one you are making, to seek out an AA meeting. I decided to make a commitment to go to 90 meetings and get myself a temp sponsor. It made all the difference in the world for me to at least get a foothold in the program and to meet others just like myself. I may have some years in this program, living one day at a time now, but you have something I can never have. I got sober at 36. And, btw, I did this with very little family support, so it CAN be done!
You have a chance to do it 9 years younger. So you're ahead in this if you think of it that way. Don't waste that opportunity.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,371
Hi camaro
A lot of us find that real life support from family and friends is not always forthcoming, but you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here, and suggestions about where to find it in real life too
Glad you made that first post - welcome aboard
D
A lot of us find that real life support from family and friends is not always forthcoming, but you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here, and suggestions about where to find it in real life too
Glad you made that first post - welcome aboard
D
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Hi and welcome...... and yeah, it IS scary to hear yourself say (or type) it for the first time.
I'm on-board with a lot of what was said - especially the "don't expect your family to encourage you" parts. lol. Not that they will DIScourage you.....but if you're a real alcoholic.......you're going to have to do some things that you won't want to do.....and they probably won't want you to do either. It's RARE....reeeeally rare to find someone outside of a recovery program who really gets what a recovery program is all about. Heck, I've been to substance abuse therapists who don't understand AA.......and these weren't newb's either.
Recognizing that there is at least a problem is absolutely necessary though. Now.... it's time to go to work to figure out just what kind of drinker you are/were. Were you a social drinker who got a outta control, a heavy drinker, or a real alcoholic? You don't have to answer that this minute.......but it should be on your "to-do" list pretty soon. You'll need to know how severe it is so you'll know how to treat it....
Getting sober for your kids is noble, for sure. But remember, alcoholism is the real deal......it's deadly, amazingly deadly. One of the primary tenants of alcoholism is that it tells those who have it that they don't really have it. Most alcoholics deny it's existence, resists many of the tools at their disposal to treat it, and end up continually relapsing or just kill themselves along the way to that enivitable alcoholic death. I'm not trying to freak you out....but understand, if you ARE and alcoholic and you don't do something about it.....you won't BE a parent.
My father.......for example.......is alive. He's walking, talking, and (up until recently) driving and so forth..... but he's an alcoholic and he's not REALLY anything BUT an alcoholic anymore. NO conversation is really possible with him unless you like yelling, fighting and arguing about anything and/or everything. He's just a mean, nasty, hollow, soul-less person..... and he's a good example of what life becomes if an alcoholic continues to drink and doesn't get that merciful cirrhosis of the liver death along the way. He's not a husband anymore (although he's married), he's not a father anymore, he's not even a decent neighbor or a friend to ANYONE anymore.... he exists to drink and be miserable 24/7. He's like a living "ghost of Christmas future" for me.....and it's not pleasant.
Sorry so come off so heavy handed.....I don't mean to freak you out..... It's just that soooooooo many ppl take this thing lightly. They'll suggest you don't have a problem.......or that you don't REALLY have it "that bad" or that you don't REALLY have to quit forever..........or that you can take your time with recovery.......or that you can choose any recovery plan you want and just make it work..... and that's all BS.
Recovery isn't always easy.......and it's not always fun, but that's just life. The kicker is, if you're a heavy drinker or if you're a real alcoholic......you don't HAVE to live that way anymore. You can have this kick a$$ life that's really awesome 90% of the time and that crappy 10% that pops up from time to time.......it doesn't cut as deeply as it used to and it usually doesn't stick around for as long as it used to. It's really a good deal - recover is. Be as open minded as you can.....and as willing to look at yourself as objectively as you can. IF you're an alcoholic, and you're willing to do something about it..... life it juuuuust about to start for you........and it's frickin awesome.
I'm on-board with a lot of what was said - especially the "don't expect your family to encourage you" parts. lol. Not that they will DIScourage you.....but if you're a real alcoholic.......you're going to have to do some things that you won't want to do.....and they probably won't want you to do either. It's RARE....reeeeally rare to find someone outside of a recovery program who really gets what a recovery program is all about. Heck, I've been to substance abuse therapists who don't understand AA.......and these weren't newb's either.
Recognizing that there is at least a problem is absolutely necessary though. Now.... it's time to go to work to figure out just what kind of drinker you are/were. Were you a social drinker who got a outta control, a heavy drinker, or a real alcoholic? You don't have to answer that this minute.......but it should be on your "to-do" list pretty soon. You'll need to know how severe it is so you'll know how to treat it....
Getting sober for your kids is noble, for sure. But remember, alcoholism is the real deal......it's deadly, amazingly deadly. One of the primary tenants of alcoholism is that it tells those who have it that they don't really have it. Most alcoholics deny it's existence, resists many of the tools at their disposal to treat it, and end up continually relapsing or just kill themselves along the way to that enivitable alcoholic death. I'm not trying to freak you out....but understand, if you ARE and alcoholic and you don't do something about it.....you won't BE a parent.
My father.......for example.......is alive. He's walking, talking, and (up until recently) driving and so forth..... but he's an alcoholic and he's not REALLY anything BUT an alcoholic anymore. NO conversation is really possible with him unless you like yelling, fighting and arguing about anything and/or everything. He's just a mean, nasty, hollow, soul-less person..... and he's a good example of what life becomes if an alcoholic continues to drink and doesn't get that merciful cirrhosis of the liver death along the way. He's not a husband anymore (although he's married), he's not a father anymore, he's not even a decent neighbor or a friend to ANYONE anymore.... he exists to drink and be miserable 24/7. He's like a living "ghost of Christmas future" for me.....and it's not pleasant.
Sorry so come off so heavy handed.....I don't mean to freak you out..... It's just that soooooooo many ppl take this thing lightly. They'll suggest you don't have a problem.......or that you don't REALLY have it "that bad" or that you don't REALLY have to quit forever..........or that you can take your time with recovery.......or that you can choose any recovery plan you want and just make it work..... and that's all BS.
Recovery isn't always easy.......and it's not always fun, but that's just life. The kicker is, if you're a heavy drinker or if you're a real alcoholic......you don't HAVE to live that way anymore. You can have this kick a$$ life that's really awesome 90% of the time and that crappy 10% that pops up from time to time.......it doesn't cut as deeply as it used to and it usually doesn't stick around for as long as it used to. It's really a good deal - recover is. Be as open minded as you can.....and as willing to look at yourself as objectively as you can. IF you're an alcoholic, and you're willing to do something about it..... life it juuuuust about to start for you........and it's frickin awesome.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 15
As for the type of alcoholic I am, I am a closet drinker and I drink alot. I am a small girl and lately I have been drinking 1/3 of a 1.75L of rum a night. I know I am an alcoholic, I haven't drank anything tonight and I am anxious.
Thank you so much for your post DayTrader. I do take alcoholism seriously, I have grown up around more alcoholics than I can count.
Its official, all the alcohol is gone in my house.
Does anyone know if the 12 steps will work for me since I don't belive in God? I don't know much about it but from what I read there is a part about God or a higher power?
Thank you so much for your post DayTrader. I do take alcoholism seriously, I have grown up around more alcoholics than I can count.
Its official, all the alcohol is gone in my house.
Does anyone know if the 12 steps will work for me since I don't belive in God? I don't know much about it but from what I read there is a part about God or a higher power?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by Camaro
Does anyone know if the 12 steps will work for me since I don't belive in God? I don't know much about it but from what I read there is a part about God or a higher power?
Some times I think the founders of AA understood those like me and took me from the gates of faith and walked me away from them that first year and then turned me to face them and had me just walk towards them 'real' slow.
It's something how this program can work at times, one person touching another...at times what can work for one, can work for another, even if 'just for now'...and even when another doesn't even know it.
I had a hard time with this concept of everyone believing in a 'different God'.....and I dunno why this came to mind, but it was the only way at that time, I could grasp onto something that could work for me....so I recalled working for the postal system. And I would put all those letters addressed to so many, into one bag. Some times, it would have an address number that didn't exist. So I would put it into the closest numbered address there was. (That's why you get mail sometimes that isn't yours, people like me)
. Well, I thought of the envelopes being mailed as 'prayers' being sent to 'different' named Higher Powers....and the mailman would put them into his bag but when he went to the street to deliver them, there was only one house to bring them to, and once a day, this Big Dude would come outta the house and get ALL the mail. Sounds nutty, huh? Well, it worked at least early for me to hang on to something, which was better than nothing, till I did come to believe.
Well, about five years goes by, and I'm at some meeting, and some biker chick, whom I had seen at some meetings on occasion, shared about how she found her higher power, and about these envelopes being prayers being put into a mailbox. I was amazed thinking, how cool, someone else thought of the same thing that worked, too.
After the meeting, I told her I enjoyed her sharing that.
She proceeds to thank me because she remembered me sharing that five years ago, which helped her at that time. Who woulda known?
I am sure your own sharing has helped provide hope to someone reading for we all have something to offer somebody and the promises do come true...and that feeling of uselessness will disappear. Keep coming back.
It does get better.
And I would try what another poster suggested
Type in AA meetings and your city in search field in Google and it should bring up an AA Intergroup meeting guide in your area to peruse where meetings are located.
Good luck.
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