My Christmas, by Dee
My Christmas, by Dee
This was my first 'full' Xmas since I got sober - I'd done partial get togethers but never the whole few days away whole family experience.
It was pretty harrowing - not because I wanted to drink, but just the drama and fights and ever present tension - particularly once people started drinking - I'm not sure if it was always like that and I never noticed, or whether this is new...
At the Xmas dinner around the packed table my brother in law asked me why I stopped drinking...the table went quiet...drinking is a family sport.
I told him and looked everyone in the eye - no hyperbole, no drama, no shame - just a simple statement of fact. I am an alcoholic and my life is immeasurably better now.
I had people congratulate me - later in private LOL...but still, small steps...
One thing I learned from my Xmas is I'm absolutely doing the right thing - I'm comfortable with who I am, and I'm at peace with my life.
I didn't need to feed the drama or raise my voice or get involved in the fights.
There's a lot more benefits to recovery than just staying sober...
It wasn't all bad - I still love my family - but man - it's good to be home
D
It was pretty harrowing - not because I wanted to drink, but just the drama and fights and ever present tension - particularly once people started drinking - I'm not sure if it was always like that and I never noticed, or whether this is new...
At the Xmas dinner around the packed table my brother in law asked me why I stopped drinking...the table went quiet...drinking is a family sport.
I told him and looked everyone in the eye - no hyperbole, no drama, no shame - just a simple statement of fact. I am an alcoholic and my life is immeasurably better now.
I had people congratulate me - later in private LOL...but still, small steps...
One thing I learned from my Xmas is I'm absolutely doing the right thing - I'm comfortable with who I am, and I'm at peace with my life.
I didn't need to feed the drama or raise my voice or get involved in the fights.
There's a lot more benefits to recovery than just staying sober...
It wasn't all bad - I still love my family - but man - it's good to be home
D
As Dorothy said in The Wizard of Oz...THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME! I agree..it did remind me of why I used to drink..some of the people in my family would drive ya to it!! I have a drinking family as well. BUT I did have a good time..and would not trade my sobriety for all the tea in China! Glad to have you back Dee..you were not gone that long and I still missed you!!!!
drinking is a family sport
It's encouraging (in a different way) to hear you talk about having to deal with family stuff at the holidays, too. Thanks for sharing that and congrats on getting through a "full" dose of Christmas!
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Dee, you excuded great quiet dignity...the family mob can be quite an eye opener isn't it?
congrats on spending extended time with the family and coming home in one piece..i hope you enjoyed them and i'm sure they are looking up to you.
I often feel the same way....i love my family and friends, but there is no place like the peace and quiet of my house...MY sancutary too.
it will be a Happy NEW YEAR!
congrats on spending extended time with the family and coming home in one piece..i hope you enjoyed them and i'm sure they are looking up to you.
I often feel the same way....i love my family and friends, but there is no place like the peace and quiet of my house...MY sancutary too.
it will be a Happy NEW YEAR!
Dee - so happy to hear from you. Who knows what might've happened if we'd been left unsupervised much longer. I have the same feelings about my family & all the drama. I suspect that it was always that way, I just tuned it out or wasn't paying full attention to the goings on. I have "risen above" it, too - and can tolerate them all with a smile.
Glad you are back, unscathed by the experience. Onward to 2011 we go.
Glad you are back, unscathed by the experience. Onward to 2011 we go.
Great post Dee and congrats!! My Christmas get together was sort of the same but being that I recently had that relapse issue it seemed like there was an uncomfortableness in the air regarding the episode 2 days earlier with me having to go to the ER and all. But I am thankful for my health and my sobriety this holiday season and also happy you were able to spend yours with your family.
Awesome for you Dee!
I had some family stress out type dinners in the past too.
However, the participants are all mostly dead now.
Not from alchohol, but the table was a lot emptier this year.
Enjoy it while you can man ...cuz those people wont be around forever.
Just sayin'.....
I had some family stress out type dinners in the past too.
However, the participants are all mostly dead now.
Not from alchohol, but the table was a lot emptier this year.
Enjoy it while you can man ...cuz those people wont be around forever.
Just sayin'.....
What you said really resonated with me. I'm starting to remember who I was before I hated myself and doomed myself to a life of living to die via the slow liquid suicide.
There were times that I was at complete peace with myself as well and I'm very happy that you felt the same way (it's too good of an emotion for just me to feel. ) There were times that I was so tickled to be me that I didn't care what people thought of me - my old self-confidence and independent happiness is starting to take root and is growing like a weed.
Sobriety, my friend, kicks major ass.
Thanks again Dee, it made me happy to know that you're happy.
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
Amen to that Dee!
You are so right, in that there is much more to recovery than sobriety. Had I known, I would have stopped the madness years earlier, but I thought life would be boring without drinking. How INSANE that is to me now!!
You are so right, in that there is much more to recovery than sobriety. Had I known, I would have stopped the madness years earlier, but I thought life would be boring without drinking. How INSANE that is to me now!!
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