Off of my recovery routine and feeling it...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Off of my recovery routine and feeling it...
Hey all. With the holidays I have been off of my normal meeting schedule, reading routine, and participation in this site. For me, when drinking I had absolutely no routine and hated it. The chaos that booze causes was terrible.
I have had family in town, dinners, get together's like I'm sure we all have but I have not felt "in recovery" for the past few days. This scares me. I'm sure at some point in my life I'll be able to handle these situations better, but right now I am "white knuckling" it until I can get back on track. I am still praying, but to be honest I don't feel the connection that I normally do. These are the times when I cave. I WILL NOT drink, no matter what - but I do see how a few more days of this could be very dangerous.
I love my family but I need to get back to meetings and get a little more "peace" in my life. I just have to get to tomorrow.
Stay well everyone. Thanks for listening...
I have had family in town, dinners, get together's like I'm sure we all have but I have not felt "in recovery" for the past few days. This scares me. I'm sure at some point in my life I'll be able to handle these situations better, but right now I am "white knuckling" it until I can get back on track. I am still praying, but to be honest I don't feel the connection that I normally do. These are the times when I cave. I WILL NOT drink, no matter what - but I do see how a few more days of this could be very dangerous.
I love my family but I need to get back to meetings and get a little more "peace" in my life. I just have to get to tomorrow.
Stay well everyone. Thanks for listening...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 384
Hey Reggie - I understand about getting back to a routine. I have been off my exercise and healthy eating routine BIG TIME!
I also understand about being around family and the temptations that seem to be everywhere.
Stay close to SR and check in often. SR is what got me through Christmas sober for the time time in many, many years.
Hope you have a peaceful, sober day
I also understand about being around family and the temptations that seem to be everywhere.
Stay close to SR and check in often. SR is what got me through Christmas sober for the time time in many, many years.
Hope you have a peaceful, sober day
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi Reggie,
Good for you for noticing that you're a bit off.
I know for me, routine is really important too, and balance. And, when I am not doing that on a daily basis, I begin to suffer.
Take some time for yourself today!
Good for you for noticing that you're a bit off.
I know for me, routine is really important too, and balance. And, when I am not doing that on a daily basis, I begin to suffer.
Take some time for yourself today!
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
I feel completely off mine as well. I think it's a fact of sober living that there will be times that life throws a curve ball into our normal recovery. Something to accept and be ready for, I suppose.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
I can relate, not only do I have family gatherings I'm also working which involves staying at others homes while they are away been doing it now for 10 days and I am getting tired...alot of going going going...just want to be back in my own bed, watching my own t.v..and getting back to routine....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
A family christmas put me a little offkilter myself Reggie - but like Miami says, I had the skills and I used them...drinking was never an option and, more than that, I kept my head when everyone around me was losing theirs....
I hope you can get back into a routine soon, but try not to worry too much and don't underestimate yourself...I really believe that wherever we go we carry our recovery with us
D
I hope you can get back into a routine soon, but try not to worry too much and don't underestimate yourself...I really believe that wherever we go we carry our recovery with us
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
Weird and embarrassing and synchronous, but since posting I had someone from the past contact me asking me to party. I had gotten to the point where I no longer initiated drug use, but I never considered that one day someone else could come forward.
I am turning off my phone and praying that Bravo has some good marathon running today. It my opening night, too.
I am turning off my phone and praying that Bravo has some good marathon running today. It my opening night, too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
I am glad that you had a better day today! AND..I need you much more than you need me!!!!
Nothing could be further from the truth..we are all here for each other. You have posted many things that struck a chord for me..Very insightful..good points of view.
Nothing could be further from the truth..we are all here for each other. You have posted many things that struck a chord for me..Very insightful..good points of view.
~ still a believer ~
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 141
so true..........
Man, so true Reggie
I noticed the same thing myself (normally hit probably 5 meetings a week) and last week, only hit 2
because I do have the tools needed.....the urge to drink NEVER entered my mind at all..........
I think what really PO'd me was the "sh*tty committe" in my head was sounding off....my actions seemed to resort back to the old me...
self centered....lack of patience, tolerance and love.
Once I caught myself........I knew that what I needed was MEETING BAD!
Gotta Love them tools !!
and SOOOOOOOOO glad you are feeling better
I noticed the same thing myself (normally hit probably 5 meetings a week) and last week, only hit 2
because I do have the tools needed.....the urge to drink NEVER entered my mind at all..........
I think what really PO'd me was the "sh*tty committe" in my head was sounding off....my actions seemed to resort back to the old me...
self centered....lack of patience, tolerance and love.
Once I caught myself........I knew that what I needed was MEETING BAD!
Gotta Love them tools !!
and SOOOOOOOOO glad you are feeling better
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Catching yourself when you're off the beam is one of the big-time gifts of recovery. When you stop hiding from life and really tune in.....you notice it when you're off your game. While gaining that knowledge and insight is important, what you do with it is vital.
Speaking to people who've managed to rack up some quality sobriety time only to relapse, some...over and over, you'll find 1 common occurrence: They got off their usual game plan and stopped doing some of the things that they had been doing. Once we stop 1 thing, quitting more stuff gets a little easier. Before they knew it, they weren't doing any of the things that had been working (meetings, praying, writing, working out, going to bed early, getting up early, whatever...) and BAM, relapse.
It's pretty common to ebb and flow through recovery. I'd love it if life would just smooth out and I could maintain a high lever of "connectedness" to life, my HP, my friends, and so forth. Life, unfortunately, doesn't work like that. It's usually highs and lows, flat boring spots and exciting times. These will have an effect upon us....and the effects can change over time. Holidays can bore you one year, excite you another, lead to depression in a 3rd yr then take you to a high-level spiritual experience in another year.
As I was saying, recovery teaches us to be in tune with life and with ourselves. The knowledge is only part of the puzzle though. What's important is to act upon that knowledge. ((For those of you who know the "serenity prayer" this would be a case of having the wisdom to know the difference but needing the serenity {power} to change the things you can)) If you're feeling "off the beam" take an inventory of what you're doing / not doing and compare it to what you were doing / not doing that last time you felt reeeeeally connected. Have you stopped doing some things that you used to do? Have you brought some new "insanity" back into your life? If you're in AA/NA make SURE to speak to your sponsor... let them know what's up, tell them what's changed (what you quit doing / started doing). THEN ADJUST YOUR ACTIONS if an adjustment seems warranted........ <--- that's the VITAL part - the adjustments.
My alcoholic mind wants me to think if things are getting "worse" to just ignore it...keep moving, don't worry about it.....life will improve. My recovery mind tells me to get an objective picture of what's happening (or missing) and DO something to rectify the matter (change it myself, ask for help, go back and search for some new knowledge or new techniques, etc).
Remember......alcoholism centers in the mind - not the bottle. And since your mind goes everywhere with you, you need to be vigilant of what's happening in your life and be willing to adjust as you move through life.
Speaking to people who've managed to rack up some quality sobriety time only to relapse, some...over and over, you'll find 1 common occurrence: They got off their usual game plan and stopped doing some of the things that they had been doing. Once we stop 1 thing, quitting more stuff gets a little easier. Before they knew it, they weren't doing any of the things that had been working (meetings, praying, writing, working out, going to bed early, getting up early, whatever...) and BAM, relapse.
It's pretty common to ebb and flow through recovery. I'd love it if life would just smooth out and I could maintain a high lever of "connectedness" to life, my HP, my friends, and so forth. Life, unfortunately, doesn't work like that. It's usually highs and lows, flat boring spots and exciting times. These will have an effect upon us....and the effects can change over time. Holidays can bore you one year, excite you another, lead to depression in a 3rd yr then take you to a high-level spiritual experience in another year.
As I was saying, recovery teaches us to be in tune with life and with ourselves. The knowledge is only part of the puzzle though. What's important is to act upon that knowledge. ((For those of you who know the "serenity prayer" this would be a case of having the wisdom to know the difference but needing the serenity {power} to change the things you can)) If you're feeling "off the beam" take an inventory of what you're doing / not doing and compare it to what you were doing / not doing that last time you felt reeeeeally connected. Have you stopped doing some things that you used to do? Have you brought some new "insanity" back into your life? If you're in AA/NA make SURE to speak to your sponsor... let them know what's up, tell them what's changed (what you quit doing / started doing). THEN ADJUST YOUR ACTIONS if an adjustment seems warranted........ <--- that's the VITAL part - the adjustments.
My alcoholic mind wants me to think if things are getting "worse" to just ignore it...keep moving, don't worry about it.....life will improve. My recovery mind tells me to get an objective picture of what's happening (or missing) and DO something to rectify the matter (change it myself, ask for help, go back and search for some new knowledge or new techniques, etc).
Remember......alcoholism centers in the mind - not the bottle. And since your mind goes everywhere with you, you need to be vigilant of what's happening in your life and be willing to adjust as you move through life.
~ still a believer ~
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 141
Remember......alcoholism centers in the mind - not the bottle. And since your mind goes everywhere with you, you need to be vigilant of what's happening in your life and be willing to adjust as you move through life.
because, what you think, can become your reality if left undisturbed.......
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