New to the forums.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Canada.
Posts: 88
New to the forums.
I've been struggling with alcohol addiction for some time now, and no matter how many times I tell myself I won't drink anymore, or I'll only have one beer, I always manage to get drunker and stupider than the last time. Yesterday was Christmas, and I'm ashamed to say that because of my drinking I ruined it for my family and for my mother. Now I have alienated my family and I don't know what to do. I've decided to own up and start getting help for my drinking and I guess that's the first step on the road to recovery. The fact that I'm feeling angry and guilty at myself makes me want to grab a bottle but I won't. I'm not giving up this time.
I love this place.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 329
I have been where you are many times. I am on day 15, again. I have ruined many relationships because of my drinking. Even after being in head on collision and my bff dying at the scene, staying sober 65 days, I did it again! It's craziness. Nothing changes if nothing changes right? This time around I found AA and spending a lot of time here at SR.com, it's saving my life. I have a whole new attitude. I never want to have the anxiety from drinking that I feel you are going through now.
Stick around, there is great support here. I also suggest you find some kind of meetings, there are all kinds, I just chose AA personally.
Also, FYI-
SR chat has meetings on Fridays at 9pm est and when it's not a holiday there is usually someone always hangin' there and a pretty good group in evenings/nights. It is a great place to talk to others and get input and ideas on how they are staying sober.
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Welcome to SR Krang! Sounds like you have a lot of good reasons to quit. Like gr8ful wrote - It could be beneficial to find a support system. AA, counseling, SR, something. Good luck and keep us posted. 
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Krang - Most of us don't want to change until we're in pain of some sort. What's important is that you're facing your problem and reaching out. I came to the same conclusion, that alcohol just isn't worth the consequences and I couldn't seem to get sober on my own.
Hang around (lots of the members will be back in a day or two) - just keep reading and posting. You don't have to live this way. :ghug3
Hang around (lots of the members will be back in a day or two) - just keep reading and posting. You don't have to live this way. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((((Krang)))) - welcome to SR!
No, you're most defintely, not alone. Some of us have been addicted to other subtances (mine was crack) but the paths we follow to recovery are so very similar.
It's great that you're reaching out here. SR has been a HUGE part of my recovery. I truly don't think we can do the "recovery thing" alone...whether you go to meetings, a counselor, SR, or just find some f2f people who are supportive of your recovery, I think it's really important.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
No, you're most defintely, not alone. Some of us have been addicted to other subtances (mine was crack) but the paths we follow to recovery are so very similar.
It's great that you're reaching out here. SR has been a HUGE part of my recovery. I truly don't think we can do the "recovery thing" alone...whether you go to meetings, a counselor, SR, or just find some f2f people who are supportive of your recovery, I think it's really important.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Gramma Donna
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Howell, MI
Posts: 3
Welcome Krang! No, you are never alone! Just one of the many slogans to help you stay clean and sober. We have been there, and believe it or not, it gets easier the longer you stay sober. I first decided I had a problem in '77 and in '86 I had my last drink (and drug)! It's good you know a bit about recovery already. Yep, the first step in AA is admitting you are powerless over alcohol. Are you my son? jk (-; He was drunk Christmas eve and telling me how he was sorry he got drunk, and how he didn't mean to, and on and on and on... You know how we get (or got) in that state of mind. Nothing we can do about the past, nothing we can do about the future, it's now, the present that we have control over. Just don't drink right now! That's as easy as I can tell you how it worked for me in the beginning. Now it's not even a passing thought, my program is ingrained in my being and have no desire to use any kind of mind or mood altering substance. Remember that alcohol is a drug, legal, yes, drug just the same. Keep coming back. I want to hear your story, too. Without all those that were here (in recovery) before me I'd be dead, or just wanna be dead!
and grammadonna...:Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((grammadonna))) - welcome to SR!! Sounds like you're going to fit into the "family" here, just fine Sorry about your son, but you know, as well as I, we have to get to where we are to be where we need to be!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Sorry about your son, but you know, as well as I, we have to get to where we are to be where we need to be!Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Originally Posted by Krang 
Thank you all very much. I appreciate the support and all the kind words. At least I know I'm not alone in this journey, as hard as it's going to be. 
The thing is, if you're like me, then you're alcoholism will want you to feel:
A) Alone
B) Unique
C) That you can one day control it
And so, if you're alone, your chances of recovering are slim at best. And if you're unique, then your problems are unique too- hence, the next logical thought is that what's worked for others won't work for you. And if you can 'one day' control it, then you're recovery will, most likely, be pseudo-recovery. That's how my disease works, and all of those ideas had to be absolutely shattered so I could begin my recovery.
I "highly" encourage you to read these forums like your life depended on it, scour them - I know I did in my first 30 days. Further, check out in-person support groups (AA is my choice) - I believe just like SR plays a critical role in recovery, for many of us we also need face-to-face support too. There are SO many of us fighting this disease of alcoholism and drug addiction all you need to do is stroll into a couple AA meetings and you'll see what I mean. There are other recovery groups too if AA doesn't suit you.
Two last thoughts, I just left a friends house and had a very in-depth conversation about how the only person we can get sober for is ourselves, nobody else can ever make us get sober, but how it is very likely I may have relapsed by now if it were not for other people that I've been able to meet with face-to-face, hear - see - 'feel' their pain (and strength and hope)- and share mine. I get this from the fellowship that AA offers. I know there are some here that are able to recover just with SR and changing their lives- "I'm" too isolated and my disease has progressed so far that I needed/need EVERY, EVERY last bit of support I could/can get. So, SR & AA, and friends that are just 'sober' because they choose not to drink/use and my psychiatrist and my primary care physician and my higher power and my family and and and...anything else that will help me stay stopped. Not want to drink again. Learn to live and love life without drinking or using....the vessel I'm traveling down this road of sobriety & recovery in had no seats left for my pride - the stakes were too high (my life) and I needed the freedom to find, ask, and 'accept' help wherever I found it. Pride didn't get the back seat, he got the boot.
Somebody said recently, and I thought this was a very powerful message:
"What IF....just WHAT IF....just What IF "THIS" is YOUR last shot at recovery? You're one last 'lucky' break?"
Bulls-eye! I honestly don't think if I go back out I'll get another chance. I see this as so much more than just not drinking or using, but figuring out an entirely new way of living because I'm the type of alcoholic that has BAD things happen when I drink, and I am scared to death to think what might happen if I go back out for one more round. Again, my illness has progressed untreated for over 30 years so many won't be in the same place as me or of the same mindset. I can only speak for myself, and so yes, if this is the one last lucky straw I get in this lifetime for a chance at sobriety and a happy, purposeful & sane existence.. then I intend to work for it harder than anything I've ever worked for in my life.
Getting sober, staying sober, and learning how to live sober is a lot of hard work- It also pays the biggest dividends of any investment one could possibly invest in. Give it a shot, you might just surprise yourself.
Oh, and by the way- Merry Christmas and Welcome to SR
I'm not always this serious, but this is a very serious matter for many of us, I hope you find something helpful in this mini-diatribe, but if not click the back arrow and keep surfing, there's tons of wisdom, experience, etc. on SR. 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Welcome Krang. There is hope for us all. Most of us have done embarrassing things while drunk. Most of those things, if not all, are repairable. Take a look through some posts here and see if you find yourself in them. I know I did. For me, quitting has been a long process. I finally reached a point where I had to surrender and realize that I could not do this on my own. I reached out to this forum and AA. I have been amazed at the results. Whatever program you chose I wish you the best of luck. It can be done. I was obsessed with drinking for many many years. Today, I find I am getting better little by little. Hang it there!!!
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