My update (with a high functioning A)
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 277
My update (with a high functioning A)
Those with high functioning As may be interested to read. They do function well but the alcoholism does progress.
I've been on this board for a little over a year now. Married 18 yrs to my AH, we have a teenage son. We started going to a counselor together at that time, in which he stopped abruptly, saying "That b!tch is putting ideas in your head. She doesn't know what she's talking about."
Me and my son continued to see the counselor now and then.
Fast forward a year and another counselor try later - and that one called us to say he couldn't see us anymore. After my A tried to leave more than one appt mid-session, the counselor said it was clear my A wasn't looking for help.
He received an award of Excellence from his job. Craziness.
His drinking really increased in November, culminating in a round of Sundays where he was passed out for breakfast, lunch and dinner. After many apologies and a promise to do controlled drinking, he then snuck off to Vegas on a return from a business trip. Lovely.
He talked me into going on our family Christmas vacation we had planned all year.
4 days into it, he started drinking mid-day then went on a verbal rampage with the wait staff at a restaurant, then started in on my son! That was a first. I am usually the target of his verbal attacks.
My son and I left the next day. I am really proud of us and our move to find happiness and sanity. My friends are calling saying they are heart broken about the news of our short trip - but it's odd, my son and I are HAPPY. We finally didn't give it "one more time".
It's going to be a weird holiday without the A around and we didn't put up decorations because we weren't supposed to be here...but I think it may be one of our happiest times ever.
Looking forward to more progress and happiness in the New Year.
I am thankful for this board because it has so helped me see clearly. A year ago, I thought I was losing my mind.
I've been on this board for a little over a year now. Married 18 yrs to my AH, we have a teenage son. We started going to a counselor together at that time, in which he stopped abruptly, saying "That b!tch is putting ideas in your head. She doesn't know what she's talking about."
Me and my son continued to see the counselor now and then.
Fast forward a year and another counselor try later - and that one called us to say he couldn't see us anymore. After my A tried to leave more than one appt mid-session, the counselor said it was clear my A wasn't looking for help.
He received an award of Excellence from his job. Craziness.
His drinking really increased in November, culminating in a round of Sundays where he was passed out for breakfast, lunch and dinner. After many apologies and a promise to do controlled drinking, he then snuck off to Vegas on a return from a business trip. Lovely.
He talked me into going on our family Christmas vacation we had planned all year.
4 days into it, he started drinking mid-day then went on a verbal rampage with the wait staff at a restaurant, then started in on my son! That was a first. I am usually the target of his verbal attacks.
My son and I left the next day. I am really proud of us and our move to find happiness and sanity. My friends are calling saying they are heart broken about the news of our short trip - but it's odd, my son and I are HAPPY. We finally didn't give it "one more time".
It's going to be a weird holiday without the A around and we didn't put up decorations because we weren't supposed to be here...but I think it may be one of our happiest times ever.
Looking forward to more progress and happiness in the New Year.
I am thankful for this board because it has so helped me see clearly. A year ago, I thought I was losing my mind.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I am so proud of you and happy for you! Now, this is what I call a success story. And looking back on this Christmas years later, I'm certain both you and your son will consider this one of the best presents you could gave given each other. Little trinkets under the Christmas tree, nice. The gift of freedom, serenity, and peace, priceless! Merry Christmas to you and your son, and all the wonderful people on this forum who also helped me find freedom and peace.
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
...it does progress.
G is one of the "go to" guys at the job. He got "exceeds" on all his goals for this year, he makes twice as much as his manager's manager, he'll walk right into the director's office and simply state "We can't do <>" without a reason, and the director will drop it (even if it was a pet project), and ask G's help to find a replacement if it was something important. His brain works at light speed and I can't even count how many major problems he's solved (and is still solving even while drunk). Very few people realize he's been drinking too much on a regular basis. (The ones who know he drinks at all are because he told them he was having a problem.) We still managed to have nice weekends, and we used to do a lot of talking to resolve things, and he would give me a list of things to say to help him stop drinking, and they helped a lot! For a while, anyway. Somehow I never did enough to stop him, never reminded him how he'd feel the next day, never helped keep the pressure off him (all his words, not mine).
He knows he has a drinking problem, and he'll readily admit it - but he refuses to admit how much of a hold it has on his life, how big a problem it is, and lately he won't admit that I'm not responsible for causing it/stopping him.
...Thank you so much for sharing your story, after reading some of the stories here I was starting to doubt myself a bit. I am doing the right thing, I know that, and now I know for sure.
G is one of the "go to" guys at the job. He got "exceeds" on all his goals for this year, he makes twice as much as his manager's manager, he'll walk right into the director's office and simply state "We can't do <>" without a reason, and the director will drop it (even if it was a pet project), and ask G's help to find a replacement if it was something important. His brain works at light speed and I can't even count how many major problems he's solved (and is still solving even while drunk). Very few people realize he's been drinking too much on a regular basis. (The ones who know he drinks at all are because he told them he was having a problem.) We still managed to have nice weekends, and we used to do a lot of talking to resolve things, and he would give me a list of things to say to help him stop drinking, and they helped a lot! For a while, anyway. Somehow I never did enough to stop him, never reminded him how he'd feel the next day, never helped keep the pressure off him (all his words, not mine).
He knows he has a drinking problem, and he'll readily admit it - but he refuses to admit how much of a hold it has on his life, how big a problem it is, and lately he won't admit that I'm not responsible for causing it/stopping him.
...Thank you so much for sharing your story, after reading some of the stories here I was starting to doubt myself a bit. I am doing the right thing, I know that, and now I know for sure.
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