maimai

Hi guys,
Just wanted to check in and say hi. I will be spending my first Christmas without alcohol...

Any others out there? Wanna share some thoughts?

For me, I miss the way I thought alcohol let me escape from all the crazy stuff (kids, stepkids, etc.)

This yr. I find out that my hubby owes about 200K to the IRS....

*gulp*

but not gulping wine, so I am proud of that...

I am stressed, but what can I do?? Hang on.......

Let me know what you guys might be dealing with...

For me today is day 115...

I am holding on tight...

hugs...

Soph

Hi Maimai, I think you're in for some snow this Christmas! You will be in a winter wonderland, feeling spritely and sober and fresh! Sorry to hear of IRS woes but huge congrats on 115 days, you are really inspirational (most I got was 75 days and am back again, trying again, am on day 4.)

For me I am dealing with being with parents, family, in the parental home, and all the old triggers and emotions from everyone. Stress, expectations, comments, drama. Feeling like I have to get back into the role I have always had to be in which just frankly makes me resentful and resentment will lead me straight to wine! So I am battling that. In my 40's, still feel 16 gathered with everyone...which is just about the age I started sneaking drinks!

ODAAT!!

least

For me, after a year now, I no longer crave the escape. I'm happier with myself than ever and no longer have the desire to drink. Give yourself some time. It will get better. At least, by not drinking, you're not making things any worse...

AmericanGirl

Hey Maimai, thanks for the helpful thread. Sorry to hear about the IRS stuff but glad to hear you are coping without drinking.

This is also my first Christmas sober. I feel a lot of the things Soph mentioned. Today it helped to put myself to work where help was needed but also in my own way (instead of being a doormat) and I was also super proud to make space for myself today and draw some boundaries so that I could get away from all of it when I felt my state of being start to sink.

So grateful to be able to check in to sr when all this stuff gets boiling!

maimai

Good point Least.. I guess I should have written the way I thought alcohol helped me escape. In reality it just made it all worse... every time

sigh

On Thanksgiving we had to put our beloved German Shepherd to sleep due to acute kidney failure and now 2 days b4 Christmas my hubby drops this lovely bomb....

I am preparing my (non alcoholic) punch for Christmas and new yearr, my hubby's eyes almost popped out when he saw the bottles. I was like "easy tiger, they are just welches grape juice.." Of course I can not blame him...

I am grateful for the reason for the season and this will certainly give me some good journal time!

hugs...

Soph

Maimai, can you share your punch recipe? It would give me something to contribute (and do) while others are mixing drinks.

I am sorry about your dog, have been there before and it is devastating. Well done on staying sober through these bumpy times!

Kmber2010

Mai, THANK YOU for this post. I am working on collecting my thoughts for a post (yikes....me write a post in this section....yeah today has been a day for me) and reading this resonated what I have been feeling.

I am so glad you are handling the things in your life (sry to hear about that IRS situation) and working through it without the false belief that alcohol will help. That weak thinking is what kept me drinking for years.....just made everything worse on way too many levels.

I am beyond grateful to be sober and in recovery and to have SR and draw so much strength from this community and its sharing - like your thread here. It definitely spoke to me as I completely 100% identify with you.

Huggs and keep it going my friend. The new year is almost upon us and what a great feeling it is to know that whatever comes our way.....we can see it through in a positive way.