turtlegirl70

I am so low right now I just don't know what to do. Counselor told my husband last night that he was ruining his life because of pot. Most people in my generation seem to view pot as harmless but I can testify that you can be addicted to it. Counselor has told husband that he needs intensive outpatient rehab. Husband says won't do any good - they won't tell him anything he doesn't know. Tried to convince him that they can offer him support if he really wants to quit. No relationship with me, kids are disgusted with him and don't respect him, he can't get a decent job - won't even try. He told me that he will just "deal with my cold response to him not going" which seems to be him blaming me. I know it is time to leave him - gotta wait until I get finances in order but he is making me sick and i don't know how to stop it.

Just needed to vent - thank you!

Live

My daughter had to take her son and leave her relationship too. It was a very tough thing to do and I hate that my grandson's dad put all his pot habits ahead of being a good partner and great dad..but it was the very best choice my daugher could have made.

Things have gone so much better for her since and things are pretty fabulous for her now.
My grandson has good role models now.

doggonecarl

You can't do anything for your addicted husband (and pot is addictive, don't let anyone fool you) but you can do something for yourself: Nar-anon

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-nar-anon.html

keepinon

My daughter and my son have both abused pot..my daughter was diagnosed with marijuana dependence (amongst other addictions).It can rob you of ANY ambition and keeps you immature and unable to have meaningful relationships.
I know lots of people who smoke and are not addicted..but I have firsthand seen how lazy and deppresed it can make people.Alanon or Naranon would be really helpful..I go and it has changed my life.

goldengirl3

What keepinon says is true. I had a boyfriend who is addicted. Very immature and life just goes nowhere. He turned 40 and his longest relationship is still only 5 months. It's a shame.

thecrystalbudz

marijuana. addiction is controversial. in my opinion, i think it is very psychologically addicting. i hate how people look at addiction without considering what it is and what the long term consequences are. for example, heroin. it might seem like a common cold until you get those hot & cold sweats and anxiety attacks and vomiting and diarrhea. withdrawal should show with any addiction. when i dont smpke marijuana i get very aggitated your husband needs to learn to stop thinking about smoking and he needs to do things that make him concentrate. he needs to think positive i wouls tell myself that i cant smoke until after i get a job and it worked

Kindeyes

turtlegirl
I'm glad you are here at SR.....vent away. Sometimes we need to get those negative emotions out of us so that we can deal with today.

Your husband's counselor has laid it down for him. The rest is up to your husband. Your husband will either get it or he won't.......and nothing you can do will change or affect that.

So.....knowing that you can't control him or change his mind.....the question is.......what are you going to do for you? I find peace here in SR, at my Naranon Family Group, and in books that help me understand and stay focused on those things that I can control. Me.

gentle hugs

lostx

I can totally relate to your post. I am so angry at him. When he comes home and I can smell it or see it in his eyes I just get so filled with hate for him. I know it is wrong but I feel like I am stuck. I can not financially support myself & the kids. My 3 year old loves her daddy & would be devastated if she could not see her dad everyday.

Our kids don't know (19,17,16 & 3). The 19 & 16 stay with their mom and only visit on occasional weekends. I help hide it from them. I do everything I can to keep it from the kids. If they do know, they certainly don't know the extent.

I have been struggling with myself to attend a Naranon meeting for emotional & mental support. There is a meeting on Thursday relatively close to me that I hope to go to if I can scrape up the courage.

Thank you for your post!