eddie73

This is what most aa members who have managed to quit long term have in common. They have a healthy spiritual awareness and pray regularly to God. Im struggling with this. I would love to get the peace that so many of the others seem to be able to get. I mentioned it twice at group meetings and was told that the group would work as my higher power for now.

CarolD

Have you restarted your Steps with a sponsor?
That might benefit you just now a lot.


That's the point that got me into solid recovery.

I have no experience in useing the group as a HP
tho I've heard others say they do that. I

Dee74

I really hope you find that peace too Eddie - if you commit yourself to working for it, I think you will

D

NEOMARXIST

Hi eddie. I think it's important to remember that you can't get 15 years worth of sobriety in a day or two. Like it takes time to heal and time to develop and spiritual awakenings are often of the "educational variety" to quote AA BB i.e- they don't happen overnight in a flash but rather gradual over time and others often notice it in your general persona before you do.

That's certainly the case for this alkie but I can say that the spiritual side has really managed to create a richness to my recovery but like i say it didn't happen overnight and my concept of spirituality is unique to me and couldn't be imposed by anybody else. Often merely being willing to open your mind enough to conceive of a HP is enough to get that nice "spiritual" feeling going, certainly for a character like me anyway. It's a very personal thing and that's the way for me in regards to spirituality/HP stuff. I don't need to think deeply about this stuff but rather it's given my recovery a whole new perspective and kept me grounded where I want to be. I have found a much deeper connection with nature and it's all good.

Peace

ellis

Hi, Eddie,

I struggled in sobriety for 10 years before I found a HP that I now choose to call God. It doesn't happen overnight, yes, but hopefully it will come to you quicker than it did me. I kept an open mind this past year after my last relapse. And I started "faking it until I made it" which means I prayed everyday even though I did not "feel" Him there. I just let my mind be open to receiving Him. Working the steps also helped.

God speaks to me through other people. I hear His wisdom pour from their minds. But what I like the most is that I just have to sit still, and say "Lord..." that's it. I just wait until I feel His peace. If it's hard for you to pray you can say, "God, I know You're not there, but I need help." I did this for months on end. Just simple prayers. You can just talk to Him like you would another person, too. No need to make any formal prayers. But there are a lot of simple prayers in the 12 and 12. I like the 11th step prayer the most.

Don't worry about believing in God too much. He is there, has always been, and will be there when you are ready. It will come when you are ready. It'll take care of itself.
Don't drink, go to meetings.

Kmber2010

Wishing you well Eddie. While I don't have AA experience I can only agree with others that this journey takes time.

Keep sharing....I enjoy reading your posts.

coffeenut

Hi Eddie. I'm not an AA'er or particularly religious, but I do agree that since I am sober, I have found a higher sense of spirituality.

You can and will find that peace for yourself, but you have to search for it. Continue your AA meetings....ask questions. Read everything you can on sobriety. Come to SR. It IS there....you just gotta hunt for it.

SSIL75

That's probably true for me, too. I feel a lot calmer and see more sense in things.

But I will throw out there that it's OK if your recovery doesn't look like those people you see in the meetings. Yes, the old timers in AA will pray regularly to God, etc because that's kind of the program, right? So anyone who is there for a long time is going to be down with that. But people get and stay sober without God or any 'higher power' definition. People find that sense of peace without AA. One of the many reasons it took me so long to seriously consider quitting was because I really really did not want to go the 12 step route and there is this myth that it's the only 'real' solution.

I hope you find what you're looking for

totfit

AA can go from extremes of spiritual to down right religeous depending on where you are and what meetings you attend. AA is a great way to get sober if you are so inclined and the largest by far recovery organization. Most people however get sober without AA.

As far as higher power, mystery, etc., I think there need be no religion needed to point to the mysteries, wonder, and power of the Universe. If we can merely be awed by this, then our problems seem minute and we can certainly find some power within ourselves and help from resources in our world to overcome.

The biggest obstacles for most of us is that we just have not accepted that there is no way that we can successfully drink. That it will bring those of us that are afflicted with the malady nothing but pain. When we accept that the thoughts and condiditoned responsed are lies that were imprinted long ago and there is no way for us to successfully drink, then we will seek and find our solution and know peace.

Antiderivative

I don't think it is about finding your "higher" self, but your inner self. I don't do the God thing or believe in the supernatural. I know it works for others and that is great. I have tried, even to the point of lying to myself, but I cannot believe.

However, when some people say that God comes from within, I can somehow relate to that. Its about getting in tune with yourself, others, and your surroundings. You have a greater awareness and heighten senses. It is so much more spiritual than taking yourself hostage in order to inflict misery and pain upon yourself as you drown in a bottle.

I don't know what spiritual path you will walk, but just give it time. As long as you stay away from that first chance, you will have an opportunity to find and nurture your spirituality.

Zencat

I think having the group as your HP is a good start. I have a multible understandings of a HP, the group is one. As the title of your post suggest finding ones higher-self as a way of achieve lasting sobriety. I follow along similar lines of having a higher potentiality to aide me in recovery.

Mark75

I believe that my higher power expresses itself in the AA meetings I attend, which is why I like them.... My higher power is often present in many different settings... Occasionally at work, often at mass, at musical events... He is everywhere and I also believe much as antiderivative does, that He is present within... within each of us.

But if we are seeking recovery in the 12 steps it is not just about the presence of the HP, it is about trusting our higher power to restore us to sanity (sobriety, happiness, joy)... and about getting in touch with His will... I never really understood how to do that if my higher power was a thing, or another person or group of people... even if I feel His presence there.

My own experience is similar to many others experience... I always believed in a higher power, so that part was not the issue... trusting my higher power, well... that's another thing all together... My experience was, in someways, born of complete demoralization... I was ef'd when I first came to recovery... I remember sitting in my garage, shaking my head in my hands... "How am I going to do this??"

I am not going to do this, He is.... My job is not to do this thing... but to try to align my will with His and trust Him... To do the next right thing... Tall order, but what was the alternative? To go on as I was, miserable, emotionally dead, spiritually bankrupt.

As I practiced trusting Him, I got more comfortable with the idea... soon I began feeling His love and care... but it wasn't all at once and I frequently found myself back at square one... but each time, with each leap of faith... it became easier...

This is still very much a work in progress and frequently find myself trying to run the show, worrying about tomorrow and things I have no control of... but each time that happens, the solution is right there, in step 3. When I remember... serenity is back within reach...

It has not been all at once for me... progress not perfection.

Well, for what it's worth, that's my own personal experience, others have shared theirs... what a wonderful place, SR... where else can this happen, in relative safety and anonymity?

LaFemme

I've really enjoyed reading this thread because it illustrates something I find comforting and that I believe....everyone has their own path...even if they are in the same program everyone is unique

Me, I'm spiritual and have always been close to God...my God is Christian but I'm not very religious....mostly because I dislike being preached to. Which probably explains why I don't do AA...lol

I do believe that God is there for anyone who seeks Him...in whatever form he speaks to you....so if you are not there yet...try and have some peace that you will get there in time.

Xo,

LaFemme