Sad day today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 788
Sad day today
I am really glad I found this site. I am a mom of 2 young kids, and while I usually only have 2 or 3 glasses of wine a night, I get way too drunk at social gatherings. Last night, I blacked out, and don't remember putting my kids to bed. My son saw me smoking a cigarette, which showed him I'm a hypocrite...who knows what I did or said at the end of the night. I am so disappointed in myself...my father is an alcoholic, and I will not allow this to ever happen again. I have to quit drinking...I have tried before, but then tell myself I'm really fine. How can I forgive myself? What do I say to my kids? My husband and I love to drink wine at night and relax...I'm so afraid I will start again. I wish I could stop. I'm scared.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hey Maryjane and welcome!
I think its wonderful that you want to quit especially with kids. Growing up I was raised to believe that a normal part of adulthood was to drink wine every night with dinner. It helped me justify my drinking for a long time.
You are lucky in one way that you aren't drinking that much....you are also unlucky that you aren't drinking that much
sometimes its easier to quit when things are unbearably bleak. That actually didn't help me that much. What did help me was to totally change the way I thought about alcohol in addition to doing a ton of work on my self as well.
There's tons of info here, and everyone is nice and supportive
I think its wonderful that you want to quit especially with kids. Growing up I was raised to believe that a normal part of adulthood was to drink wine every night with dinner. It helped me justify my drinking for a long time.
You are lucky in one way that you aren't drinking that much....you are also unlucky that you aren't drinking that much
sometimes its easier to quit when things are unbearably bleak. That actually didn't help me that much. What did help me was to totally change the way I thought about alcohol in addition to doing a ton of work on my self as well.There's tons of info here, and everyone is nice and supportive
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
If you decide you are ready to quit, try to find a support system. Consider face to face groups, use SR, both, or other things.
Most of us have done things we regret while drinking / using. Sounds like if you get a handle on things now, your kids and family will be fine.
Read around SR. You will find a lot if support here. Good luck and keep us posted.
Most of us have done things we regret while drinking / using. Sounds like if you get a handle on things now, your kids and family will be fine.
Read around SR. You will find a lot if support here. Good luck and keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 191
Welcome! When I came here I was like you, where I would drink moderate amounts most days but occasionally binge. I decided to stop after going overboard one night and having a blackout. No kids, but the shame was so palpable.
I'm guessing you won't have much in the way of physical withdrawals since you don't drink heavily daily, but the psychological stuff is hard. Keep on posting, and good luck!
I'm guessing you won't have much in the way of physical withdrawals since you don't drink heavily daily, but the psychological stuff is hard. Keep on posting, and good luck!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Welcome MJ! First off..try to forgive yourself. I think that sometimes the WORST things we do when drunk...can be the very thing that leads us to sobriety. The eye opener. You are not alone. Hope to hear from you again!
Last edited by MsCooterBrown; 12-21-2010 at 09:01 PM. Reason: deleted a word ..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
Welcome, Maryjan! I think you'll find a lot of good help on this site, especially in realizing that you're not alone in this. Most of us have tried to quit, went back to it because we thought we were fine, (repeated that a few or many, many times), and then at some point realized that it was an even bigger problem than we thought. Those 2-3 drinks made us feel like we could handle the alcohol, until we couldn't and blacked out after having too many. Remember this last time you got drunk so that you know why you quit, come here as often as you need to so you can remind yourself that you've quit, ask for help when you need it, and be proud of each day you can get through without a drink. You can do it!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi maryjan
I think being scared and feeling guilty and regretdul are things we;ve all been through here. You're among friends - we get it
We get through things a day a time, and reaching out here when we feel scared or overwhelmed or vulnerable, if thats what it takes at the beginning.
The folks here helped me to change my life. I know we can help you too
Keep reading and posting.
Welcome aboard!
D
I think being scared and feeling guilty and regretdul are things we;ve all been through here. You're among friends - we get it
We get through things a day a time, and reaching out here when we feel scared or overwhelmed or vulnerable, if thats what it takes at the beginning.
The folks here helped me to change my life. I know we can help you too
Keep reading and posting.
Welcome aboard!
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome to the forum - we all understand what it feels like coming off a binge (or lots of them). It was baffling to me the times when I was determined not to overdo it and find that my drinking got out of control anyway.
I really didn't think sobriety was going to be any fun, but it's the best thing I could have done for myself. Take it a day at a time and when you're tempted, come here and read this thread. Hang in there - we're all behind you!
I really didn't think sobriety was going to be any fun, but it's the best thing I could have done for myself. Take it a day at a time and when you're tempted, come here and read this thread. Hang in there - we're all behind you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome Mary you have our support.
I think almost all of us have a flood of emotions when we start the journey. What I can assure you of is that you don't have to ever go through this again. We can get sober, we can begin recovery and live healthy positive lives!
Glad you are here. Keep sharing and focus on taking it day by day.
I think almost all of us have a flood of emotions when we start the journey. What I can assure you of is that you don't have to ever go through this again. We can get sober, we can begin recovery and live healthy positive lives!
Glad you are here. Keep sharing and focus on taking it day by day.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 177
Maryjan,
Your story is much like mine....kids...wine every night...binges...alcoholic father...my 2 glasses turned into 3, then 4, then the bottle+...it's progressive. I thought I could handle drinking socially, but that turned quickly into the bottle again...I was really the only one that could say STOP, ENOUGH. I got so sick of feeling so guilty and sad, and like a loser everyday...and I just kept thinking about what I was robbing my kids of each day that I woke up and wasn't fully present for them. It's hard, but worth it. Day 18 here. and I know that when I go out with friends and say no to a drink, they will assume i am pregnant also! dred that moment, and have been avoiding it, since I don't think I can handle the temptation yet....anyways, I am rambling...but just wanted you to know you are not alone
Your story is much like mine....kids...wine every night...binges...alcoholic father...my 2 glasses turned into 3, then 4, then the bottle+...it's progressive. I thought I could handle drinking socially, but that turned quickly into the bottle again...I was really the only one that could say STOP, ENOUGH. I got so sick of feeling so guilty and sad, and like a loser everyday...and I just kept thinking about what I was robbing my kids of each day that I woke up and wasn't fully present for them. It's hard, but worth it. Day 18 here. and I know that when I go out with friends and say no to a drink, they will assume i am pregnant also! dred that moment, and have been avoiding it, since I don't think I can handle the temptation yet....anyways, I am rambling...but just wanted you to know you are not alone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 788
Thanks so much. It's helpful to hear from someone in the same boat. I will look for your posts here...congrats on 18 days. I did have a good feeling with my kids today--like, "You'll never know that I'm doing this for you--but I am proud to be doing it for you." Probably need to do it for myself, too...anyway, thanks.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family!
I was a great disappointment to my kids (teens at the time) when I was drinking. They were so glad when I quit. Congrats on two days sober! That's a good start to a better way of life.
I was a great disappointment to my kids (teens at the time) when I was drinking. They were so glad when I quit. Congrats on two days sober! That's a good start to a better way of life. Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Welcome Maryjan!
I know that the shame and guilt I felt because of my drinking, stopped me from recovering for a long time. Don't let those feelings overwhelm you.
You can do this!
I know that the shame and guilt I felt because of my drinking, stopped me from recovering for a long time. Don't let those feelings overwhelm you.
You can do this!
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