TakingCharge999

So I got to write a letter to my dad and show it to the therapist (not sure if I have to read it or just hand it) and I have been putting it off for weeks now. I have dragged myself all these days, very very sad and I just can't start doing it. So much to say and I feel I will cry for HOURS... has anyone felt this way?

Then I see he sent me a funny youtube video and I wonder: does he ever realize how much I missed him and how much I have gone through just because I didn't feel worthy to be loved. How does he believe I will have a relationship with a good man.. out of NOTHING?

Another thing is that I don't know what was the trigger that make me leave my mom. Therapist says it is important to know. My mom won't talk about it. Perhaps I ask him.



Then I remember how his dad is dying and he is not FLYING RIGHT AWAY TO BE WITH HIM, and I don't want to be that person, I don't want to get a call saying my dad is dying and for me to ignore him or put off visiting him.. I don't want to become him...I don't want to feel his same resentments (and deny them on top of it)... I don't want to say goodbye to him a he is saying goodbye to his father... perhaps that will motivate me to be brave tonight and face this emptiness and loneliness I have felt all these years...

Live

Oh, gosh, TC..these are the most difficult types of things I have ever had to work on. No, I don't want to go there and write the letters and peer closely at things. It hurts desperately, confuses me and drains me of my energies. It is tough stuff. The best I have been able to do is a bit at a time, always being kind to myself not to push myself too hard and mindful that these things do not get resolved all at once and for good and for all. I do have time to take it at my pace.
Being kind to myself in it must come first for me no matter what I am dealing with. That is what I deserve!

Phoenixthebird

TakingCharge999, writing the letter to your Dad is not for your therapist......it's for YOU! Sometimes when something painful to us becomes so buried in our inner self that we need to sort out our feelings and organize them in our hearts. I believe your therapist is hoping you will be able to release some of your negative thoughts and feelings. By actually writing your feelings out in black-and-white your feelings and thoughts will gain more validity and become more concrete to you.

It can be very emotional, heart wrenching and exhausting for us to dig up all our negative feelings and thoughts and actually write them out......but sometimes it's the only way we can release them......and allow us to move on with our lifes. Sometimes therapists will have you read the letter out loud and then ceremonially burn the letter. I had to write a farewell letter to my daughter after she died.

Just my personal opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Phoenix