Vanilla28

So ive made arrangements to move back into my parents house the beginning of february, which i really wanted to do....at first...

but now that it might be/is happening, im having second thoughts.
im having pride moments. im 29 and am moving back in with my parents?!? for some reason that is really bothering..nothing to do with them, just kinda feels like failure.

they didnt ask me to come, im the one that asked them. so why all the reservations all of a sudden? i think it has to do with privacy, the privacy and hiding ive engrained in myself for the last ten years. so i could drink and be alone and not have anyone bother me.

i dont know.

considering its the place i always go and stay when im not doing so good...ex: after detox, anytime im having anxiety cuz im quitting again etc. so i dont get why all of a sudden im feeling all doom and gloom about it?

i dont really know where im going with this post...but if there is anyone out there that has a simular story etc id love to hear from you.

imatryhard, i know you do, i sent you a private message also.

thanks everyone!!

Anna

Maybe it's because the place you go when things aren't going well, and so you have those feelings associated with moving home.

Hopefully this can be something that works out for you and your parents and it's what you want and need at this time.

SSIL75

hmm... well it wouldn't be a good choice for me. But everyone's situation is different. I guess consider if it's helped in the past?

Vanilla28

whats funny is that i know it will be a good thing for me......maybe thats why im having reservations about it. LOL

i really dont like where im living now, so i spend all my time in my room, which really is not good for people like us but cant afford rent on my own.

so i dont have very many options. its either here or there.

like i said, im having pride issues. big ones. and my self esteem is shot. i have two sisters and IM the one whos had an eating dissorder, IM the one who has anxiety and panic attacks, IM the one who has drinking problems, now IM the one moving back into our parents house.

i know it doesnt do me any good to be compairing myself to my sisters. im just feeling way behind everyone else in life i suppose. so to be moving back home makes me feel even more of a failure.

sigh. im sorry. im just having a pity party tonight. Ive always hated change, and lately EVERYTHING is changing for me, and it gets me all frazzeled and anxious. these are all good changes...but they are changes none the least.

Marilyn.

SSIL75

best of luck

least

I hope it all works out to your good health.

imatryinhard

Yeah I hear ya on the compaing yourself to your sisters. My little sister is engaged and doing just fab - and I am struggling with becoming an adult.

SO... as I said in PM I am given myself some goals to work on by April. As long as I work on myself everyday I think I will be OK. God willing.

Goodluck lady!

Vanilla28

okay i lied..i dont compair myself to my sisterSSS...just one..my twin. who is married with kids also. haha

imatryinhard

you know what! i am sooooo not equipped to give advice LOL it's like the blind leading the blind. my advice is moot.

but i am happy to entertain you with my blabber!

Vanilla28

haha well its nice to have someone that feels the same thing you do. same situation. so lead on!